I am an aspiring krishna devotee. for krsna I have left everything whatever i am capable of. but my family member are not happy with me at home especially parents. because i left eating non veg. and started doing mala this was their main concern. My father who have studied shastras (vedic literature) he also tells me to stop all this. he knows m srila prabhupad follower as i hv put guru parampara photo at my altar at home. he underestimated srila prabhupad and many times said that he is not a guru just posing himself, he is just a writer the only good things he has done is that he preached our sanatana dharma thats it. it hurted me i cried in front of srila prabhupad and asked for forgivnes. anyway my father scolds iskcon people ( as he thinks iskcon has brainwashed me, but its not) and to all devotees who follow rule and regulation or have guru to guide their bhakti. i cant remove wrong thoughts about srila prabhupad and for all devotees from my father's mind as he consider that an argument. how dare i am arguing with my father ? many times he (and all other member of family) scolds me lectures me for hrs for not eating fish and egg and at times being fed up and frustrated being scolded/lectured by everyone for hrs twice i tasted fish/egg curry to pacify them and to normalise the tension environment at home. i evenstarted eating food items containing onion and garlic as i am unable to keep this standard at home. but when my parents were away i ate satvik food (offered to krishna) for 8 mnths. now i am again back to that. 

my father is aged he comes under senior citizen category he is healthy no illness without disease and still he feels this is not the age for him to get devoted too much what to talk abt me. but recently as my parents left for our home town leaving me at home which i am happy, i can serve krsna better. on the way my father got mini stroke type in train while travelling. this is a kind of half body paralysis. but now by god grace he is fine he can walk, eat but finding it diifcult to talk/ not able to talk plus weekness is there in the body. 

i wonder if this suffering is because of vaishnav appradh that he committed against devotees esp. srila prabhupad or because of the age such symptoms are normal dwindling of material body. 

i am continuously praying to krsna to give my father sad-budhi and give him bhakti seed so that he could understand me.. but i am a failure in everyrelation ship- be it as a daughter, as a grlfrnd (as i was normal material girl after i became devotee my boyfrnd could not handle this fact that i changed so much and we spilt and i dont regret) and be it as a devotee of krsna. i dont even pray to krishna to cure my father from this state. i just pray to krishna to give bhakti seed to my father because i have selfish motive behind as i want to serve krsna better and my family is a hurdle on the path and i dont want to get scolding again tension environment at home because of me. so i just want only my father to get bhakti seed. 

this was just an intro what i actually want to ask that
1. is this my selfish motive that i am not praying for the health of my father just praying that he gets sad-budhi just because my path of devotion for krsna gets easier by supported by them.
2. was this situation of my father because of vaishnavapradh. even if it is how he should know that this condition is because of vaishnav aparadh so that he comes in bhakti and atleast respect srila prabhupad.
3. how can i help my father to get bhakti seeds as it depends on sukriti without talking about religious things which he considers argument.