If You and me only reality in this world, then why to loose our time for temporary things?
If I have to love You and to serve to You only, then why to divide my attention to others?
It was time when I read His Holiness Suhotra Swami Maharaja's book called "Shade and Reality". The book was very difficult to understand. I used to read one sentences 2-3 times in order to get the meaning. Then in between I read one thing which juncked in my heart. It said: "…the only reality is soul, the body is only the vibration which always is changing…"
- Oh my God! Yes!
If we see the physical constitute of any subject we will see the similarity. For example, my body consists of innumerable cells. Those cells are consisted with innumerable atoms. And each atom consists of atomic nucleus, surrounded by neutrons and protons. Those neutrons (negative energy), protons (positive energy) or atomic nucleus are themselves nothing but the slot of energy. In this way the subjects' structures vary among themselves only with the quantity of protons and neutrons. Water H2O has to atoms of hydrogen and one oxygen. Hydrogen is hydrogen just because its atoms contain one atomic nucleus, one proton and one neutron. If there would be more protons then the element's form would be changed fully. A piece of wood contains also same atoms as like in my body but with different amounts of neutrons and protons…
Heart, where is the soul, is like a Sun and whole body is moving around that Sun as like this whole Universe surrounds the Mount Meru and the Sun Planet.
I know, it was a mercy of Devotees and living in their association I could even little bit realize that truth: "The Holy Name and my service to Him".
Sometimes I could not even imagine how people in the opposite side of the Temple walls survive. What were there in the opposite side? What was there for eating for the real self-soul?
Of course, it seemed that palaces made of white marble, daily refreshed white, yellow, purple flowers on the road sides, softly whispering water fountains, daily washed streets, cars inside with TVs, air conditionings, restaurants with international menus, girls in simple, light clothes, handsome, wealthy men, voices of tiny children…to be the sources for peoples' happiness.
Sometimes my mind cried:
-But why I can not get happiness from those things? Why they seem to me very dry? May be in the beginning the passion burns and you become attracted and attached, but even though you know that IT IS TEMPORARY. Even though I will loose it.
So why to loose time and suffer?
On the contrary this small house with small yard, where everybody wears Tilak, saris, dhotis, talk about only Krishna, serve to Krishna, eating simple rice and dal seemed as a top most, wonderful palace for my inner self.
Day after day, month after month we served to our Deities, had Sunday programs, home programs, Temple cleaning, cooking…along with this that question started to disturb me more and more:
-WHY TO LOOSE TIME FOR OTHER THINGS? RATHER THAN CHANTING THE HOLY NAMES?
-All other services started to seem to me as a time loosing.
HOLY NAME! HOLY NAME! HOLY NAME!
You and me together alone,
I am not blood and not a bone.
Why to serve, please, tell me Deity Form?
To You as if this body is my own?
For what I cook for You?
This simple, wheat made laddu?
You are Supreme, Supreme are Your Devotees,
Why for You my tiny endeavors?
Oh Nitay Gour Govinda please, tell!
Don't make me think of You as a God – cruel!
Hands up You stay in the Altar there,
Tell me why for what You came here?
Ghee, lamp, flower, water, cloth,
For what for You, please beg, tell me the truth!
Also single insects for whole day,
As if lack something in Your way?
I want my beads! Nothing else!
For doing other things, please, don't force!
Feeling, time is fast running,
Anything else seems with no meaning.
Alas, again this cruel sunset!
Me separates from my dear most beads-heart!
But the hope is still alive,
Soon is morning and we'll unite!
Please, Devotees, don't to me talk!
No time! No meaning! I want to chant!
Sparrows, beg, be calm, dogs, stop howling!
Holy Names I want don't hinder my hearing!
Wind, you also, if possible stop!
Don't force tree leaves dancing make noise!
Oh Hare! Oh Rama! You and me alone!
Don't you also feel this taste like of a cream?
Comments
Hare Krishna,
U are an inspiration... hoping tht i'll do more chanting.
satyanarayan