Hare Krishna ,
All glories to Srila Prabhupada ,
I am not even qualified to comment and write blog or article ,
but after a discussion by a devotee friend of mine i thought to write what i felt and could understand .
Prabhu ji should i remain get married ?
Isn't Marriage a headache ?
Will i be able to follow regulative principle's in Married life ?
I am Brahmchari mine ashram is greater than your Grihasta Ashram !!
Well ,what do we understand by the Term Ashram ?
" It means a place where we stay , and you know stay is always temporary with respect to material world "
If we look at the order of Ashrama's we will see
First comes Brahmchari ,
Second comes Grihasta ,
Third comes Vanprastha , and
Last comes Sanyasa .
If we see the order of different Ashrama's they are arranged in a logical manner ,and nobody is given choice to change the order ,when a person is born he enter's directly into Brahmcharya , if he marries than he naturally enter's into Grihasta ,If he enter Grihasta then he is sure to go in Vanprastha and especially in this age where Parent's are not living with children , and finally both husband and wife never die on same day so ,Sanyasa is also forced on them . In this way we see every person in some way or other a part of Varnashrama Dharma .
Till here i have not commented anything on devotional aspect , i have mentioned the generalities .
Now what do we , as a layman understand by Brahmcharya , well ,it means practicing celibacy ;but the most important part we forget is that a person who continuously think about Brahman(Krishna) is a Brahmchari in reality .
Now when we often fight like fools , we say my ashram is greater than your's ;
If we think over it logically ,if a person is not thinking about Krsna in his ashram ,he is same as animal .
Which ashram should i join ?
If i join Grihasta ,then i will fall in Trap of Lust , if i remain in Brahmcharya ashram then there is only 30% possibility of falling down ,but in married life there is 100% possibility . Many initiated disciple's are not following regulative principle's , i may also become such a case .
If a person think about which ashram should i join , then he have not understood the meaning of Ashrama .
Ashrama should not be accepted by suppressing our senses by our will , if you try to do that , you will fall like Vishwamitra because he was not a devotee ,he tried to control the senses by his mind , but he failed .
So how should i take decision on which ashrama should i join ?
Well you join the Ashrama which inspire you to cultivate Devotional Service . If you are living in any ashrama and practicing devotional service with firm faith by following the regulative principle,than you are a Brahmchari in Grihasta Ashrama . If you are thinking about fall down and lust rather then devotional service then i guarantee you
you will fall in any Ashrama . So its not that any Ashram is big or small good or bad ,it is our attitude that matter's a lot .
Suppose i am a Brahmchari and someone comes to me and says that you will be married to a girl in 1 year .
then what will be my first reaction internally ,Oh how will she look , how will she walk with me ,how will i enjoy her .
Now think are you really a Brahmachari ? No not at all , you cheating yourself and may be you are cheating others !!
A Brahmchari is one who is unaffected by environment variables like beauty,lust,greed,anger,pride.
Because he is only interested in Devotional service and nothing else .
Similarly if you are Grihasta and you come to know that you will have to live alone for 1 year due to some issue ,the first thing that will strike to our mind is what will happen to my lust gratification , then who will cook the food ,who will earn .
Where is Krishna ? Nowhere because we prefer him to be on last and sense gratification on Top .
If there is no intensity of devotion in us , then you can travel in any Ashram you will fail ,
because whenever you will chose a ashram then , the first thing that will come to your mind will be Lust .
We are so much fallen that we have not yet developed devotional behavior ,what to talk of choosing a particular Ashrama . Any Ashrama that you chose must be subjected to question , am i devotionaly charged ,
what are my main motive , permanent service or sense gratification .
If after initiation we do not follow Regulative principle than there are two thing's
1. We are offering our offences to our guru ,We are solely responsible for Health of our Guru .
2. We are not Devotee's but pretender's , because for us sense gratification is more important ,for true devotee; he see's Krishna everywhere , he utilizes every thing for Krishna . He satisfy he senses of Krishna .
Even 0.0001 % chance of falling in a particular ashram will become 100% if we do not have Devotion .
Choice of a ashrama should depend on intensity of devotion not on any other factor ,
if any other factor haunt's you this mean's you have not yet been able to develop devotion to god .
Without devotion to God , life is failure . Choice of Ashrama is immaterial .
Every ashram is big ,we should not create partiality .
If you develop Devotional service to god as only and only aim of life ,
then you will not face fear of falling down . When we have desire's to satisfy our senses
then we leave devotional service and chose Maaya . So what matter's most is conviction .
If we our-self will not follow,other's will be laid down .
So our sole aim should be to be Krishna Bhavna Bhavit , You can live in any Ashrama .
Pardon me for my low level word's i am not a devotee ,but i felt to write on it,
after a devotee friend of mine ask such a question to me . I hope you will mange with my English and offences that i might have made .