Hare Krishna ,

All glories to Srila Prabhupada ,

I am not even qualified to comment and write blog or article ,

but after a discussion by a devotee friend of mine i thought to write what i felt and could understand .

Prabhu ji should i remain get married ?

Isn't Marriage a headache ?

Will i be able to follow regulative principle's in Married life ?

I am Brahmchari mine ashram is greater than your Grihasta Ashram !!

Well ,what do we understand by the Term Ashram ?

" It means a place where we stay , and you know stay is always temporary with respect to material world "

If we look at the order of Ashrama's we will see

First comes Brahmchari ,

Second comes Grihasta ,

Third comes Vanprastha , and

Last comes Sanyasa .

If we see the order of different Ashrama's they are arranged in a logical manner ,and nobody is given choice to change the order ,when a person is born he enter's directly into Brahmcharya , if he marries than he naturally enter's into Grihasta ,If he enter Grihasta then he is sure to go in Vanprastha and especially in this age where Parent's are not living with children , and finally both husband and wife never die on same day so ,Sanyasa is also forced on them . In this way we see every person in some way or other a part of Varnashrama Dharma .

Till here i have not commented anything on devotional aspect , i have mentioned the generalities .

Now what do we , as a layman understand by Brahmcharya , well ,it means practicing celibacy ;but the most important part we forget is that a person who continuously think about Brahman(Krishna) is a Brahmchari in reality .

Now when we often fight like fools , we say my ashram is greater than your's ;

If we think over it logically ,if a person is not thinking about Krsna in his ashram ,he is same as animal .

Which ashram should i join ?

If i join Grihasta ,then i will fall in Trap of Lust , if i remain in Brahmcharya ashram then there is only 30% possibility of falling down ,but in married life there is 100% possibility . Many initiated disciple's are not following regulative principle's , i may also become such a case .

If a person think about which ashram should i join , then he have not understood the meaning of Ashrama .

Ashrama should not be accepted by suppressing our senses by our will , if you try to do that , you will fall like Vishwamitra because he was not a devotee ,he tried to control the senses by his mind , but he failed .

So how should i take decision on which ashrama should i join ?

Well you join the Ashrama which inspire you to cultivate Devotional Service . If you are living in any ashrama and practicing devotional service with firm faith by following the regulative principle,than you are a Brahmchari in Grihasta Ashrama . If you are thinking about fall down and lust rather then devotional service then i guarantee you

you will fall in any Ashrama . So its not that any Ashram is big or small good or bad ,it is our attitude that matter's a lot .

Suppose i am a Brahmchari and someone comes to me and says that you will be married to a girl in 1 year .

then what will be my first reaction internally ,Oh how will she look , how will she walk with me ,how will i enjoy her .

Now think are you really a Brahmachari ? No not at all , you cheating yourself and may be you are cheating others !!

A Brahmchari is one who is unaffected by environment variables like beauty,lust,greed,anger,pride.

Why ?

Because he is only interested in Devotional service and nothing else .

Similarly if you are Grihasta and you come to know that you will have to live alone for 1 year due to some issue ,the first thing that will strike to our mind is what will happen to my lust gratification , then who will cook the food ,who will earn .

Where is Krishna ? Nowhere because we prefer him to be on last and sense gratification on Top .

If there is no intensity of devotion in us , then you can travel in any Ashram you will fail ,

because whenever you will chose a ashram then , the first thing that will come to your mind will be Lust .

We are so much fallen that we have not yet developed devotional behavior ,what to talk of choosing a particular Ashrama . Any Ashrama that you chose must be subjected to question , am i devotionaly charged ,

what are my main motive , permanent service or sense gratification .

If after initiation we do not follow Regulative principle than there are two thing's

1. We are offering our offences to our guru ,We are solely responsible for Health of our Guru .

2. We are not Devotee's but pretender's , because for us sense gratification is more important ,for true devotee; he see's Krishna everywhere , he utilizes every thing for Krishna . He satisfy he senses of Krishna .

Even 0.0001 % chance of falling in a particular ashram will become 100% if we do not have Devotion .

Choice of a ashrama should depend on intensity of devotion not on any other factor ,

if any other factor haunt's you this mean's you have not yet been able to develop devotion to god .

Without devotion to God , life is failure . Choice of Ashrama is immaterial .

Every ashram is big ,we should not create partiality .

If you develop Devotional service to god as only and only aim of life ,

then you will not face fear of falling down . When we have desire's to satisfy our senses

then we leave devotional service and chose Maaya . So what matter's most is conviction .

If we our-self will not follow,other's will be laid down .

So our sole aim should be to be Krishna Bhavna Bhavit , You can live in any Ashrama .

Pardon me for my low level word's i am not a devotee ,but i felt to write on it,

after a devotee friend of mine ask such a question to me . I hope you will mange with my English and offences that i might have made .

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  • Hare Krsna Prabhu !


    Please see the below link. Please hear the appropriate reply of your question from H.G. Sriman Sankarshan Das Adhikari Prabhuji, a dear disciple of Srila Prabhupada.  The link is given below :




    Grihastha Life

    On this most auspicious day of the appearance of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, we are pleased to announce the release of a new CD of compiled lectures of our Guru Maharaja, His Grace Sriman Sankarshan Das Adhikari Prabhu, titled “Grihastha Life”.

    The CD puts light on various aspects of grihastha asrama and enlightens the hearer on how he can utilize his household life to achieve the highest result out of it. As usual, Srila Gurudeva’s lectures are ultra-potent and relishing. They address a wide variety of issues like duty and mood of an ideal householder, importance of morning sadhana, raising saintly kids, addressing your spouse, divorces, television, workplace affairs etc etc. The information available in the lectures compiled in this CD is absolutely unique in the sense that it is rarely available anywhere else in the movement.

    To propagate this important message among the society of devotees with maturity of time, place and circumstance is the prime need of the hour. A word of caution is however needed here. The CD is meant *only for devotees* who have steadiness in following the process of Krishna Consciousness and are qualified and willing to know about additional rules and regulations for speedy advancement in spiritual life. It should not be given to people who have shaky faith and who may consider the version of spiritual master and scriptures to be “fanatic” or “too extreme” or “OK for renunciates but just too much for us”. We personally recommend that the CD be given only to those who chant 16 rounds of Mahamantra daily and strictly follow all the four regulative principles atleast. Another humble request is that you may not distribute it unless you have heard it completely yourself.

    The CD comes in a transparent plastic sleeve packaging which not only makes it attractive but also lightweight and easy to carry. It is priced at Rs 50 per piece.

    We hope that this CD presented as a humble service unto the society of vaishnavas will be cherished as a useful resource material and will make many many ideal grihasthas and staunch brahmacharis in the years to come.

    Purchase CD:

    Those desirous of buying this CD should write to us on our e-mail id:, clearly specifying their name, place of stay, nearest ISKCON temple and quantity needed.

    Your servant,

    Virendra Kumar Trivedi


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