I have thought and written much about what it takes to stay the course in bhakti for our whole life, as well as to how not to settle into a comfortable religious life not intensely focused on making spiritual advancement. They are related subjects though usually spoken of separately. I am primarily thinking about what kind of unique guidance should be provided to devotees of different ages, needs, and personality types. I would like to ask you in the beginning for your thoughts on this subject–I would appreciate hearing your perspective as I know that you may not have time to finish this blog.
Everyone is best served by tailor-made guidance which takes into consideration their age, years of spiritual practice, material necessity and nature, and all-around maturity–and we should know that it takes time to understand another person, or even one’s self. I bring up the topic because most of us didn’t receive this type of guidance when we took up the path of bhakti and we suffer accordingly. I am challenged to succinctly present this in a bite-size form, as there are so many aspects to consider, so please take this as food for thought to be expanded upon.
I am often reminded of this topic when I speak with devotees who are struggling, either in an ashram, or who live far from devotees. Although their situations are quite different, they have in common the lack of friends or leaders who understand and appreciate them. Thus they don’t receive appropriate, compassionate guidance, but often just a basic, stereotyped Krishna conscious solution which can seem impersonal and irreverent to a person’s situation.
Every devotee should have at least someone to confide in who understands them and offers support. On the other side of this equation, every devotee should reach out to a few others to offer them such encouragement and support. Both people benefit! Without such relationships devotees often leave the path to search for what they are missing, and also lose the benefit of the great gift of the holy name and what bhakti offers. As I have often written about, “relationships are everything!”
The inappropriate or general guidance points out what is theoretically best for our spiritual progress, but what we may be presently unable or uninterested to follow. If there seem like few options in the midst of such guidance this is often a time when devotees give up their spiritual practice to pursue material wholeness and what I call their “karmic mission.” Ideally we can have both, spiritual practice and being a balanced person.
In my experience, when we live in an ashram, or come to Krishna holding a job, etc, during our young and inexperienced years we often just plug into the bhakti process without really understanding our nature or if we can live being primarily spiritually focused for the long haul. To learn how to center our lives totally on full time seva is valuable, though it’s often unsustainable. This should be made clear to every new devotee, so they don’t feel guilty when they have to leave the ashram, or must deal with their material desires and necessities which they may have thought would magically disappear.
Never the less I do recommend living in an ashram for some time, or even short periods to gain an “immersion experience” to learn the basics of spiritual practice, but with the right understanding that one must be called to be a monk, or renounced couple. Ideally devotees will be taught introspection to understand their nature and what they require for the long-haul of a lifetime of spiritual practice. I have also found it very helpful, even essential, to understand some basic psychology to enable us better understand how we are all so different in temperaments, and yet basically want similar things.
Every devotee has to learn to be responsible for their own spiritual progress and how to serve their guru and the mission of Lord Chaitanya in a way that works for their psychology. To do this properly the needs of the mission have to be balanced with the requirements of the individual devotees. Experience has shown that this can be a difficult balance since temples and ashrams are often are understaffed.
Devotees often feel the “surrendered” position is the best, and if they can’t maintain this, it creates a conflict. However, honesty is always best if we are to remain on the path. As the Gita teaches us, “What can repression accomplish?”
Everything is about balance and taking care to consider how the various levels our existence, body, mind, emotions, and soul, can work together for our ultimate spiritual good. We have to take into consideration the proper balance according to our stage of life, our nature and desires, and how much we want the spiritual goal, which often changes in time.
As we change we have to make adjustments accordingly. There are many stages as we age, and many stages in bhakti. Change is difficult, but to advance in life and bhakti, we have to adjust and make the best of our situation, always praying for guidance and blessings. We either change for the better or stagnate.
Spiritual progress is assisted by acceptance of the favorable and elimination of the unfavorable, and finding a way to keep good spiritual company. Sometimes we have to take a few steps back in order to regroup and go forward. Although I know that everything can be used or abused, we still have to consider how to be balanced happy devotees on the human and spiritual level, while always keeping the ideal in mind, if not in our hearts. Think, healthy sustainability in bhakti for the long haul, and having loving, supportive, spiritually themed relationships and appropriate guidance.
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