If one can stay a brahmacari without being unduly agitated by sex desire, that is by far the best situation from which to aim at going back to Godhead. Without the heavy burden of family responsibilities, the distractions of social life, and the ever-present opportunity for sense gratification, the brahmacari can live simply and peacefully and dedicate his whole life and energy to understanding Krishna. Without having to cater to the expectations of often-materialistic relatives, his only obligation is to please his guru, Hari, and the Vaishnavas. No need to get a job, no need to get a home, no need to go shopping for saris—simple, easy, and nice. So even if there is some difficulty or occasional mental agitation, if you can at all do it, stay brahmacari! Avoid family life! Just see the example of Narada Muni and the Haryashvas. (SB Canto 6, Chapter 5)
Shrila Prabhupada: “Brahmacari life is the easiest ashrama to practice Krishna consciousness from. So little is required. A little prasada. A little service. And six feet of space to lay down your head at night and rest so you can continue to serve guru and Krishna another day.” (Told by Praghosha dasa)
“A grihastha has many responsibilities. A brahmacari has no responsibility. His only responsibility is to serve Krishna. The real business of human life is to take the responsibility of spiritual advancement. So if one remains brahmacari, he has no disturbance in that responsibility. But if he becomes a grihastha, disturbance is there. You cannot take wholeheartedly the spiritual responsibility.” (Conversation, 11/08/76)
Opting to remain celibate is a great decision. It is called brihad-vrata (“the great vow of perpetual celibacy”), for it is not at all easy to follow. Mahajana Bhishmadeva was awarded his name (meaning “terrible”) by the demigods upon his adopting this vow, (Mahabharata, Adi-parva) for it is indeed a very difficult task to undertake. But for those who adhere firmly to this vow, it practically guarantees liberation. (SB 11.17.36)
Brahmacarya is a lonely path followed by only a few, and rarely understood or appreciated. Those who decide to remain lifelong celibates may have to face doubts expressed by those who believe such a determination to be impossible to keep. And considering that several apparently stalwart devotees have fallen into the clutches of women, it may well seem impractical for others to try to maintain such rigid vows. However, the failure or setback of some does not portend failure for all. Although throughout history some renunciates have fallen victim to woman, yet others have resisted female charms and thus gone on to achieve perfection. Our acaryas have never stopped encouraging devotees to aspire for the highest ideal despite the inevitability that some will slip along the way. That most brahmacaris eventually marry certainly does not mean that those determined to remain celibate cannot succeed.
Seriously committed brahmacaris try to avoid the unnecessary entanglement of family life by dedicating their lives to guru and Krishna. Even if householders are doubtful about the chances of such brahmacaris surviving, they need not cynically and unnecessarily try to break the spirit and enthusiasm of brahmacaris by telling them that they are fighting a hopeless battle. Such discouraging words may be due to enviousness on the part of such householders, who take perverse pleasure in prodding brahmacaris to totter and fall.
Sometimes brahmacaris are accused of hypocrisy: that for all their caution in dealing with women, they are not free from sex desire, and should therefore just get married. However, it is understood that the brahmacari is not free from sex desire. If he were, he would not be in this material world. Nevertheless, he is following the path by which sex desire is overcome. It is not an easy path, and may take many years of careful practice to become perfect. That a brahmacari still has sex desire is not an indictment, nor does it mean that he must get married. That he is committed to fight against maya is praiseworthy, even if his progress is slow. Of course, those whose minds constantly dwell on sex are not brahmacaris at all and have no business being in that ashrama.
Shrila Prabhupada: “My open advice is that if any one can remain a brahmacari, it is very nice, but there is no need of artificial brahmacaris. In Bhagavad-gita it is stated that one who exhibits outwardly as self-restrained, but inwardly he thinks of sense gratification, he is condemned as a false pretender. We do not want any false pretenders in numbers, but we want a single sincere soul.” (Letter, 02/02/70)
The relevant verse is Gita 3.6: “One who restrains the senses of action but whose mind dwells on sense objects certainly deludes himself and is called a pretender.”
Those who unnecessarily scorn the glorious brahmacari-ashrama like to cite this verse. However, the next verse of Gita (3.7) describes actual brahmacaris: “On the other hand, if a sincere person tries to control the active senses by the mind and begins karma-yoga (in Krishna consciousness) without attachment, he is by far superior.” Krishna here speaks of controlling the senses by the mind. Those brahmacaris who try to control the senses by force, by accepting a regimen of severe austerities, almost always fail and collapse miserably into sense gratification. Those who are naturally averse to sense indulgence, for whom living without comforts is pleasurable, who do not have to be coaxed into sadhana and service, are more suited for staying brahmacari.
Such level-headed brahmacaris try to control the active senses by the mind by applying in life what they have heard from shastra. Those who can come to the platform of realization simply by hearing are most likely to remain brahmacaris for life, whereas those who do not realize what they hear will have to make their own experiences in the grihastha-ashrama.
Those intending to remain lifelong brahmacaris should particularly read and discuss those portions from shastra that emphasize the value of remaining free from sex. (The second part of this book provides a comprehensive reader.) Shastric descriptions of sexual entanglement are unreservedly factual and strong, and are welcomed by renunciates who want to break their material attachments. Those who want to maintain such attachments may dislike such descriptions, but that is simply their misfortune. Those who become enlivened by such strong statements are fit candidates for trying to remain as brahmacaris. Those who become discouraged, thinking the challenge to overcome sexual attraction to be too tough, are not going to make it.
Notwithstanding the opinions of others, the lifelong brahmacari goes on hearing and discussing such descriptions so as to maintain sharp spiritual intelligence. He must be firmly convinced that material life is no better than a ditch into which people pass stool. He does not feel brahmacarya to be an oppressively difficult struggle, but counts his blessings daily for remaining safe from family life.
The lifelong brahmacari must have a positive, hopeful outlook, born of faith in Krishna. Those with a critical, negative mentality cannot remain brahmacari. The lifelong brahmacari also has to develop an inner toughness and self-sufficiency. He maintains his determination even in non-ideal circumstances such as getting little personal association with advanced Vaishnavas. His inner resolve is that of a sannyasi, although he has not formally accepted that role. That resolve is to do whatever is necessary to make sure this is his last birth in the material world.
A brahmacari who wants to remain as such has to understand that there will always be women in this world, that he cannot run away from the world, and that he must therefore adjust his consciousness to be absorbed in Krishna. Brahme carati iti brahmacarya. Avoidance of women can be practiced to a certain extent, but the real avoidance is to not let the mind indulge in thoughts of sense enjoyment. To one who is actually enjoying brahma-sukha (spiritual happiness), the question, “Should I get married or not?” will hardly enter his head, and if it does, he immediately rejects it without dwelling on it or being disturbed by it.
Along with the great endeavor to conquer sex desire, devotees who want to stay brahmacari must cultivate a mood of selflessness. Most householders are practically compelled to give more importance to their immediate familial duties than to the mission of Krishna consciousness. The brahmacari’s freedom from such obligations is not meant for living a foppish, lazy life but for cultivating selflessness in the service of Krishna and his devotees. This is a vital key to staying brahmacari. A so-called brahmacari who is selfish and attached should get realistic and get married.
Simply a show of brahmacarya is not sufficient, nor can it last. Brahmacarya means brahme carati, not “nonsense carati.” A nonsense person dressed in saffron is not a brahmacari. A real brahmacari is absorbed in service, and is surrendered and determined. “Brahmacari means strictly following.” (Lecture, 05/04/74) “Brahmacari life can be continued only by deep absorption in Krishna consciousness.” (Letter, 31/12/68) “Brahmacari means don’t be attached. If you can, avoid all this nonsense. That is brahmacari. Try to avoid, better. If not, enter (family life).” (Lecture, 03/05/73) Those who are not fully into it are in the wrong ashrama. Better they go home and become honest householders, rather than making a show of renunciation that they are not fit for.
“Renunciation is not cheap, but has to be pursued as a lifelong plan. Within this plan, discretion is the better part of valor. Lord Chaitanya cautioned the young Raghunatha dasa Gosvami that the ocean of material existence is very wide and not easily crossed. Just by impetuously jumping into the ocean and making a few mad strokes, we cannot expect to reach Krishnaloka.” (Satsvarupa dasa Gosvami)
Some unmarried devotees are clearly unfit for remaining brahmacaris. Those who are not very serious about spiritual life, or who are strongly inclined towards sense gratification, or whose minds are so agitated that they often become upset even over trifles, are obviously in the wrong ashrama. They are not to be condemned, for everyone is at a different stage of development and it cannot be expected that everyone will immediately take to full Krishna consciousness.
On the other hand, those who are serious to stay brahmacari should definitely be encouraged to do so, and not just married off for the sake of expediency. Our movement needs many examples of devotees who have stuck to Krishna consciousness staunchly without feeling the need for increased sense gratification. Later on some of the most exemplary long-term brahmacaris may take sannyasa.
Sannyasa means to be finished with sex life forever, to be saved from family life and to save others from family life. Sannyasis give the greatest service to humanity by traveling everywhere and preaching the message of Krishna unrestrictedly. The sannyasa-ashrama is the ideal for the other three ashramas, which are all meant to lead one to this fourth, crest-jewel of all ashramas. Traditionally, brahmacaris act as assistants to sannyasis, so to serve and take the association of sannyasis will definitely be a great help for remaining a brahmacari.
However, it is not that after several years a brahmacari necessarily has to opt either for householder life or sannyasa. The brahmacari-ashrama is not just for children. Many spiritual institutions in India have senior brahmacaris who are highly respected for their spiritual qualities. Shrila Prabhupada wrote that brahmacari and sannyasa life are in essence the same and that it was therefore not necessary for every brahmacari to take sannyasa. (See Letter, 05/06/74)
Indeed, in many ways the brahmacari-ashrama is the best for spiritual advancement and developing Vaishnava qualities. It facilitates the essential quality of humility, for the brahmacari has neither the possessions of a grihastha nor the status of a sannyasi, both of which can foster false pride. Brahmacari life is generally considerably more simple and austere than that of sannyasis in the modern day. Brahmacaris can remain less entangled than sannyasis in the social affairs of householders, who prefer to go to sannyasis for blessings and advice, and who like to call sannyasis to their homes and feed them. The brahmacari-ashrama is also intrinsically the best for nurturing surrender to guru.
Therefore, more important than formally taking sannyasa is the firm decision to stay brahmacari, with determination never to engage in sex life again. With such a conviction, a brahmacari practices Krishna consciousness with deep faith and commitment. If one wants to stay brahmacari, a whimsical approach will not do. What is required is firm, steady service; regular, potent sadhana; and a deep vision of Krishna consciousness acquired from intensive study of Shrila Prabhupada’s books.
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