Hare Krsna
Please accept my humble obeisance. All glories to Srila Prabhupada
This morning, Srila Prabhupada suggested going on parikrama of the temple. Srila Prabhupada said we could parikrama all of Vrndavana on a stretcher. He had us give him a gentle massage, which he liked, saying that the professional massage was for a horse. Shortly thereafter, however, Prabhupada began feeling bad. Srila Prabhupada said, "Now I have become poisonous. Everyone is staying away from me." We all said that it was we who were poisonous. We understood how merciful Srila Prabhupada is, that he expressed his dependence on us, making us stay always with him throughout the day. We were being forced to surrender completely and meditate on Srila Prabhupada, who is independent and self-satisfied, doing all this for our good.
"What is to be done? I think the makaradhvaja not acting. Things are deteriorating. Weakness." We urged Srila Prabhupada not to give up, but Srila Prabhupada said, "I am puzzled." We encouraged him, "If you desire to live, Krsna will fulfill your desire." Srila Prabhupada said, "No. In this condition, I do not wish to live. In this way to remain is not desirable. That is the puzzlement. So we have to think practically." Bhavananda Maharaja said, "Then we have to think what your leaving would do to ISKCON, your disciples and the world." Srila Prabhupada then revealed one of the main reasons he had not yet departed. "That I am thinking. Such a big society, the aims and objects may be dismantled. I am thinking from that vision."
Srila Prabhupada was very eager to go out for parikrama. A few times, he inquired whether it was time; and by eight thirty, he would not wait any longer. All of the devotees were overjoyed as Srila Prabhupada rode around and around the temple, sitting in his palanquin, with Hamsaduta leading ecstatic kirtana. We went into the temple for darsana of the three altars and then around the temple again for more parikrama.
Returning to his room, Srila Prabhupada said, "So there was no difficulty. I am not tired. I was quite comfortable." Svarupa Damodara reminded Prabhupada that today was Rasa Purnima and tomorrow the first day of Karttika. "So my suggestion for parikrama last night is successful. So when there is sunshine you can take me up. There is no need of lying down in one place." Panca-dravida Swami related that all the devotees were very excited about the parikrama.
"I am also excited. I was quite comfortable. I could have circumambulated more. If I can continue this parikrama, that is spiritual cure." I described the way we could increase the parikrama to eventually include all of Vrndavana. "If I die [on parikrama], it will be a great fortune. The parikrama program you can increase."
Prabhupada decided that he would take makaradhvaja only once a day for a while and observe the effect. Srila Prabhupada said his father also used to take makaradhvaja. "Svarna-sindhu is another preparation which is cheaper."
Svarupa Damodara received a telegram informing him of the passing away of his grandfather and requesting his presence for the sraddha ceremony, especially as there were no other senior members of the family. He approached Srila Prabhupada and said, "I do not know if it is proper. My grandfather has expired. May I take leave?" Prabhupada answered by citing the verse from Srimad-Bhagavatam, "Devarsi bhutapta...: Those who are engaged in Krsna's service have no necessity for such things. Anyone who is fully engaged in Krsna's service has no other duty. He is no longer anyone else's servant because he has taken shelter of the ultimate Supreme Person. The sraddha ceremony is not required for a devotee fully surrendered at the lotus feet of Krsna. Now whatever you want to do...."
Svarupa Damodara heard these good instructions and looked towards me. I confirmed his decision not to go.
Gopala Krsna came and presented Srila Prabhupada with the new Hindi Back to Godhead. He reported that twenty-two new books in Hindi and other languages were in print.
Though Srila Prabhupada seemed somewhat stronger, there was a problem developing because of the medicine. By evening, he said, "All hopes are frustrated. I am passing stool and thus losing all strength. Stop the medicine. Passing stool means, when there is no eating, whatever strength is there, it is going."
Trivikrama Maharaja: Do you feel weaker?
Prabhupada: Certainly.
We argued that passing stool meant elimination of poisons from the body, but Prabhupada did not accept our reasoning.
Bhavananda Maharaja: From the parikrama, you appear stronger.
Prabhupada: Parikrama I can do. From medical point of view, it is not at all hopeful.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: How can we reject the medicine so quickly?
Prabhupada: Because it is reacting so adversely.
Bhavananda Maharaja: Perhaps it is the Persian melon juice. It may act as a laxative. We have to place our hopes ultimately not just on medicine but on the lotus feet of Krsna-Balarama.
Prabhupada: That is the only hope. When I first took medicine, I thought it would give strength, but instead I am passing stool.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: All the astrologers say to persevere. After March/April, everything is auspicious.
Prabhupada: I am persevering, but where is March? I want to stay but circumstances differ. Don't give me any medicine. Simply chant and parikrama.
During the night Hari-sauri Prabhu informed Srila Prabhupada of the death of Samjata in Bhuvanesvara. Hari-sauri inquired whether dying in the dhama guaranteed that one will go back to Godhead. Srila Prabhupada replied, "At least you get many years in the heavenly planets." He quoted relevant verses from the Sixth Chapter of Bhagavad Gita.
Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-October 26th-Tamala Krsna Goswami
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