Hare Krsna
Please accept my humble obeisance. All glories to Srila Prabhupada
Early, before mangala-arati, Srila Prabhupada asked Bhavananda Maharaja to call me. Srila Prabhupada said, "I cannot sleep. This allopathic medicine does not agree." I suggested they could give some medicine for inducing sleep. "That is the problem," Srila Prabhupada replied. "They can give one thing and another...." Prabhupada was very exhausted, having been unable to rest properly all night.
We tried to reason with Prabhupada about the necessity of drinking more.
Prabhupada: I cannot drink, drink, drink. Drinking is a botheration. How can I take constantly?
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We are offering you something three or four times, but you are drinking very little.
Prabhupada: What can I do?
Bhavananda Maharaja: The disease causes you to feel like not taking, even if you can. You have to force yourself to get better.
Prabhupada: Then if problem comes, they will forcibly....
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: As a person who is not Krsna conscious has to force himself to follow the rules, so a diseased person has to force himself to take medicine.
Prabhupada: I have no stamina to force.
Prabhupada was so weak that we had to ask him to repeat his words so we could hear. After presenting many arguments, we could only beg Prabhupada to try to get well.
Devotees: Your presence on this planet is the only thing which is keeping the onslaught of Kali-yuga from really taking effect. We have no idea what will happen if you should leave.
Prabhupada: That is not in my hands-Krsna-Balarama's.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I think Krsna-Balarama want you to fight, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: Now I'm falling. (He repeated his statement three times, but we could not hear him clearly.) I'm falling down.....
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The urine is darker, Srila Prabhupada. In ten and a half hours, you have taken only 150 cc. Try to take more; then the urine will become clear. Get more determination by trying to drink more; and the disease will leave. I am in favour of increasing drinking and eating. I know it may be a little difficult, but it's the proper way to get better. We will never let you go to the hospital. The medicine's disturbing effect could be countered by some sleeping medicine.
Bhavananda Maharaja: In Gita it says if you have jaundice, even sugar cane is bitter. So this medicine may also be a little bitter. So you should continue. It will work.
Bhavananda Maharaja and I tried to persuade Prabhupada with so many arguments that he should not give up.
Prabhupada: This light massage is good. Dr Ghosh says no massage, and the other doctor says there is no harm.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Dr Ghosh is a little old-fashioned and not so up-to-date. Dr Gopal knows newer, milder medicines.
Prabhupada: So, they disagree. Which is correct?
Bhavananda Maharaja and I felt that Dr Gopal was better.
Bhavananda Maharaja: Dr Gopal said that the inability to eat and drink is due to kidney infection.
There was more discussion then about taking more liquids like Complan.
Prabhupada: So what do you want to do now? Then give me a little Complan.
We all felt very much relieved.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Every one of us, all of your disciples, are in agreement that you need to force yourself to eat and drink more. What can we do if you don't do....
Prabhupada: When I don't take anything, I feel more comfortable.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But you don't get better. That is the policy of death.
Prabhupada: So let me die peacefully.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But we already explained that we don't want you to die.
Prabhupada: If I become discomfortable...naturally.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But it's only temporary discomfort until one gets better. Then you can throw out the medicines.
Prabhupada (yawning loudly): Jaya Krsna-Balarama. Now I am feeling comfortable.
He has not eaten or taken medicine for nearly half a day.
Bhavananda Maharaja: But your urine is cloudy again.
Prabhupada: Whatever it may be, if you leave me to my fate, then I feel comfortable.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But if we force you, then you feel uncomfortable. Is that right, Srila Prabhupada?"
Prabhupada nodded his agreement.
Hamsaduta Maharaja: But the other day, you said to fast like this means suicide.
Prabhupada: Hmm?
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I asked you the other night not to fast until death; and you said, "No, no. It is suicide."
Prabhupada: Now...I am puzzled!
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We are not able to let you go, Srila Prabhupada. We are not strong enough. We want you to be with us. We need you longer.
Prabhupada: Anyway, for the time being you can give me that preparation. Where is Giriraja? I wanted to speak to you all by talking to Giriraja. If by Krsna's desire, I do not exist during Bombay opening ceremony, then ceremony should be very gorgeously performed. Everyone should be given sumptuous prasadam. Whoever comes. Of course, the opening ceremony should be performed as early as possible.
Giriraja came in and Prabhupada asked me to repeat what he had said.
Prabhupada: And one thing, don't try to make preparations in the temple. Order full stock from confectioners. Have good stock and distribute. There are many nice sweet suppliers in Bombay. Order from them. How do you like this idea?
Giriraja: It is a very good idea except that we feel you should be personally present.
Prabhupada: Hmm. Therefore, I say it is up to Krsna's desire. You are trying. I am also trying. Now it is Krsna-Balarama's desire.
Bhagavan Maharaja: You are the jewel that will make it all gorgeous, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: So I am giving the idea.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The Complan is here, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: So what should I do?
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Sit up and drink.
Srila Prabhupada agreed and sat up and drank the whole glass. Then he asked for soft kirtana and lay down again.
Prabhupada: I wanted to...from Krsna...you are all pure Vaisnavas. You have sacrificed everything for Krsna's sake. That is Vaisnava. Anyabhilasitasunyam. You have no other desires. You Europeans and Americans. You were born amidst material desires; and when you became free from material desires, you are all Vaisnavas. So you are so merciful.
Jayapataka Maharaja: Because you are paramahamsa, Srila Prabhupada, you are seeing everyone else as being surrendered to Krsna. But only by your mercy are you forcing us to serve Krsna.
Prabhupada: Hare Krsna. One Bengali gentleman has come from New York?
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, Srila Prabhupada, Mr Roy Choudhry.
Prabhupada: So I have deputed some of you to initiate.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes.
Prabhupada: So I think Jayapataka can do that, if you like. I have already deputed...tell him. So I depute him to do this at Mayapur, and he may go with him. I stop for the time being. Is that all right?"
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Stop doing what, Srila Prabhupada?
Prabhupada: This initiation. I have deputed my disciples. Is it clear or not?
Devotees: It's clear.
Prabhupada: You have a list of the names? And if by Krsna's grace, I recover from this condition, then I shall begin again; or I may not begin. But in this condition, to initiate is not good. Dr Ghosh has a scheme, but actually the scheme is there in the Gita. We want to introduce in our gurukula. We haven't got to manufacture such scheme. Is that correct? Let them learn to rise early in the morning and cleanse. That is the first scheme. This will keep their health nice. Catur varnyam, etc. Unless the varnasrama system is introduced, no scheme for social order or any order will be successful. Manmade scheme-useless. What is the verse from Brahma-samhita?
Everyone thought.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Maya hi yasya jagad-anda-satani sute.
Prabhupada: Yes. In that existence, there is no material contamination. So if you want, you can give me little fruit juice. You are satisfied? I have taken that Complan, and now if I take a little fruit juice.
Bhavananda Maharaja: Oh yes, and if you could just take a little of the medicine.
Prabhupada agreed and then took a little massage.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The professional man massages with oil and we are doing so with love.
Prabhupada: That oil creates some ants.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, the oil attracts by its sweetness, but we are trying to attract you by the sweetness of our massage. No ants will come.
Prabhupada smiled and took some juice.
Dr. G Ghosh came in after Srila Prabhupada's bath, and Prabhupada preached to him about always remembering Krsna. I brought in a painting just completed by Pandu dasa, of Krsna climbing Govardhana. Prabhupada commented, "Krsna alone," since the cowherd boys and calves were very small in the background. He presented the painting as a gift to Dr G. Ghosh.
Prabhupada called for Svarupa Damodara, who presented a complete plan for his future activities. Svarupa Damodara's headquarters will be in Atlanta, where he was planning to stay and write for a few years. He also wanted more rooms built in the Bombay project and a hall built in Vrndavana. I suggested that there was no need, since the scientists had not come to the first conference. He argued convincingly, however, stating that the gurukula needed an auditorium and that the scientists who came had been favourably impressed. They had said they would bring many more colleagues, now that they knew such a nice facility existed.
Laksmi Nrsimha gave a report of the new property in Puerto Rico and invited Srila Prabhupada to visit.
Today was a record for Srila Prabhupada. When we informed him that he had drunk more liquid (1,000 cc) and passed more urine (495 cc) than on any other day on record, thus setting new "world records," he laughed very much at this.
Srila Prabhupada translated neither today nor yesterday.
Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 18th-Tamala Krsna Goswami
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