Blog

Amar Jivan

My Life

(from Saraëagati)

(1)

ämära jévana, sadä päpe rata,

nähiko puëyera leña

parere udvega, diyächi ye koto,

diyächi jévere kleça

(2)

nija sukha lägi’, päpe nähi òori,

dayä-héna svärtha-paro

para-sukhe duùkhé, sadä mithya-bhäñé,

para-duùkha sukha-karo

(3)

äçeña kämanä, hådi mäjhe mora,

krodhé, dambha-paräyaëa

mada-matta sadä, viñaye mohita,

hiàsä-garva vibhüñaëa

(4)

nidrälasya hata, sukärye virata,

akärye udyogé ämi

pratiñöha lägiyä, çäöhya-äcaraëa,

lobha-hata sadä kämé

(5)

e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita,

aparädhi nirantara

çubha-kärya-çünya, sadänartha-manäù,

nänä duùkhe jara jara

(6)

bärdhakye ekhona, upäya-vihéna,

tä’te déna akiïcana

bhakativinoda, prabhura caraëe,

kore duùkha nivedana

Translation:

1) I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.

2) I have never hesitated to perform sinful acts for my own enjoyment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned

only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a perpetual liar, and the misery

of others is a source of great pleasure for me.

3) The material desires within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride

and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy and egotism are the ornaments

I wear.

4) Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to perfrom

wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by

my own greed and am always lustful.

5) A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person, devoid

of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by various miseries.

6) Now in old age, deprived of all means of success, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief

at the feet of the Supreme Lord.

Purport

by His Divine Grace

A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupäda

Ämära jévana sadä päpe rata nähiko puëyera leña. This is a song sung by Bhaktivinoda Öhäkura in

Vaiñëava humbleness. A Vaiñëava is always meek and humble. So he is describing the life of the people in

general, taking himself to be one of them. He says that “My life is always engaged in sinful activities, and if you

try to find out, you will not find even a trace of pious activities—only sinful activities.” And parere udvega,

diyächi ye koto, diyächi jévere kleça: “I am always inclined to give trouble to other living entities. That is

my business. I want to see that others are suffering, and then I enjoy.” Nija sukha lägi’, päpe nähi òori: “For

my personal sense gratification, I accept any kind of sinful activity.” Dayä-héna svärtha-paro: “I am not at

all merciful, and I see only to my personal interest.” Para-sukhe duùkhé, sadä mithya-bhäñé: “As such, when

others are suffering I become very happy, and I am always speaking lies. Even for ordinary tbings I am

accustomed to speaking lies.” Para-duùkha sukha-karo: “And if someone is suffering, that is very pleasant to

me.” Açeña kämanä, hådi mäjhe mora: “I have got lots of desires within my heart, and I am always angry

and falsely prestigious, always puffed up with false pride.” Mada-matta sadä viñaye mohita: “I am captivated

by subject matters of sense gratification, and I am almost crazy.” Hiàsä-garva vibhüñaëa: “My ornaments

are enviousness and false pride.” Nidrälasya hata, sukärye virata: “I am conquered by sleep and laziness, and I

am always averse to pious activities.” Akärye udyogé ämi: “And I am very enthusiastic to perform

impious activities.” Pratiñöha lägiyä çäöhya-äcaraëa: “I always cheat others for my prestige.” Lobha-hata sadä

kämé: “I am conquered by greediness and always lusty.” E heno durjana saj-jana-varjita: “I am so fallen, and I

have no association with devotees.” Aparädhi nirantara: “I am an offender always.” Çubha-kärya-çünya: “In my

life there is not a bit of auspicious activity”; sadänartha manäù: “and my mind is always attracted by

something mischievous.” Nänä duùkhe jara jara: “Therefore, at the fag end of my life I am almost invalid by

all such sufferings.” Bärdhakye ekhona upäya-vihéna: “Now in my old age I have no alternative”; tä’te

déna akiïcana: “therefore by force I have now become very humble and meek.” Bhakativinoda prabhura

caraëe, kore duùkha nivedana: “Thus Bhaktivinoda Öhäkura is offering his sad statement of his life’s activities

at the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord.”