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October 1977 - Vrndavana, India

Srila Prabhupada had become increasingly in favour of departing from the world. He had eaten no solid food for months, and now he was not drinking. Yet, to the devotees, the thought of Prabhupada leaving was unbearable. They tried their best to be philosophical. One devotee compared Srila Prabhupada's departure to an ambassador in a foreign land who, although having many affairs to conduct, is ultimately called back. Another felt that since Srila Prabhupada had taught them everything, now he was teaching them how to die. Yet another thought that Srila Prabhupada probably had better friends in the spiritual world. Despite their attempts at philosophising, however, the devotees still found it a gruelling task to adjust to Srila Prabhupada's mood of appearing to want to depart.

Although Srila Prabhupada made it clear that he did not hope for recovery, he was aware of the agony of his disciples. They wanted him to stay. They needed him. He spoke with Tamal Krsna.

"If I am to survive," he said, "I must take some food. Otherwise without food one cannot live. But survival means one complication after another. Therefore I have decided to die peacefully in Vrndavana. They want me to survive. I want to die peacefully. Consult. Whether I live or die, I will always be Krsna's servant. Krsna wants me to do as I like; the choice is mine. Krsna has given me freedom to do. If I want to live I must take care of this body. We cannot exhibit miracles by not taking cure and living. That is fanaticism. If you assure me that this movement will go on without me, then better let me die."

Prabhupada's comment about Krsna giving him a choice startled some of the senior men present. Prabhupada's suggestion to consult appeared like he was asking for them to decide whether he stayed or left. If Krsna had given Srila Prabhupada the independence to choose, they reasoned, then he had also given the devotees the independence to ask Srila Prabhupada to stay.

After intense discussion, a group of disciples petitioned him tearfully: They wanted Srila Prabhupada to stay with them.

From that point, Prabhupada's mood appeared to change. He agreed to take nourishment, and drank some juice. The devotees felt their affection once again drawn out in the continuing churning of their emotional, loving relationship with Srila Prabhupada.

A few days later a telegram arrived from Sydney. Tamal Krsna read it aloud to Srila Prabhupada.

DEAREST SRILA PRABHUPADA, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE US, FOR WITHOUT YOUR LOTUS FEET, WE HAVE NO SHELTER. WE ARE TRYING TO DISTRIBUTE MORE BOOKS. YOUR ETERNAL SERVANTS AT SYDNEY MANDIR.

Prabhupada said softly, "Yes, I am willing to stay. After all, it is Krsna's desire."


- From "The Great Transcendental Adventure" by HG Kurma Prabhu