Dear Guru,
At the outset, I would like to inform and apologise that I do not know anything about Hinduism nor ISKON.
I just know that there is a connection between me and Shri Krishna and we communicate daily since years (beyond 15 years). I know this sounds weird...
I am 34 yr Male and now divorced. Living abroad all alone whilst aged parents are back in India.
Was married at 31, separated at 32 and divorced at 34. Wife had filed false dowry case and alimony charging 1 crore, 12 Lakhs, half of my property, framed by aged parents too in these cases. I literally lost hope, was depressed and was suicidal. Krishna was the only hope. Fast forward, Krishna fought the battle and we won the case. Hadn't had to pay anything and retained what I had earlier. Later again blessed with growth in career and professional studies.
I don’t feel influenced by people, movies, Bollywood, gatherings, short cloths, praise. I read human based on their energy, so it is difficult to manipulate me.
Ex-Wife and people often always used to say or stamp me as if I am Masculine. I stand for what is right (dharma) and does not bother with consequences nor approvals, since I am thula rashi perharps. Neither I am afraid of death and even wish i die right this moment since, i feel i have no purpose nor to achieve or prove anything to anyone.
I understand that i was not born for sanyasa even, so what is the purpose why i am still alive? I would or may end my life once my aged parents are no more. These wealth and career growth do not bring me happiness nor peace anymore. I am just going by the flow. I experiencd, being in solitude brings me peace and i could stay in my room for weeks and more.... I just would prefer avoiding humans.
I had already stepped in Grahasya stage and desperately failed. What should I be doing next?
Apologies, perhaps this portal is for discussing about ISKON only, and I may be a mole over here. Any guidance on the above if possible would be deeply supportive.
Jai shri Krishna
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