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A Lecture by HG Harivilas Prabhu

Venue: Vedic Cultural Center, Sammamish

Date: Friday, Jan 9, 2015

We are going to describe today an anonymous survey. It’s anonymous. You have a question, no explanation. You may or may not answer it, it’s up to you. No one is forced to answer. It is a simple question – do you trust men? You are going to answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. You don’t have to write anything, don’t put your name. If you don’t want to answer it, you don’t have to answer it. It is ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ or a line meaning you don’t want to answer it. Hmm. While you are doing that, I’ll give an introduction here, of our talk today.

Kṛṣṇa in Bhagavad-gita explains to Arjuna those feminine qualities. Well, there are such things as feminine qualities. There’s also masculine qualities. But here He says:

kirtiḥ srir vak ca nariṇaḿ

smṛtir medha dhṛtiḥ kṣama

Among women I am fame, fortune, fine speech, memory, intelligence, steadfastness and patience.

• B.G. 10.34

So, He says kirtiḥ means fame. And there are, you know… In India, women receive names such askirtiḥ. Its fame. And srir, such as Sri Lakṣmi; that is a name also which means fortune or opulence or beauty. And then vak means fine speech. And smṛtir means memory. Medha means intelligence. I know this lady who Prabhupad named Mahamedha – supreme intelligence. And then dhṛtiḥ means firmness and kṣama means patience. This is from 10th chapter, 34th verse of Bhagavad-gita. These are the feminine qualities.

Prabhupad explains this:

The seven opulences listed — fame, fortune, fine speech, memory, intelligence, steadfastness and patience — are considered feminine. If a person possesses all of them or some of them he becomes glorious. So this doesn’t just mean women can have these qualities; men can have these qualities too.If a man is famous as a righteous man, that makes him glorious.

So that’s interesting! The first quality is called kirtiḥ. That means fame. So what makes a person really famous? The fact that they are a devotee and very righteous. It is not because they are rich or powerful. They become genuinely famous if they are a righteous person; because they followed the principles of dharma. That could be a man or a woman. It is considered a feminine quality because it is based on following:-

A lot of women receive the name Anu in India. What does Anu mean? What’s your understanding, people who speak Hindi? What does the name Anu mean?

Few Devotees: Following, follower.

HVP: Yes? Is that what it mean in the general understanding of Hindi? OK. That’s why it is a feminine quality. But it is a very good quality. Yeah.

anukulya sankalapah prati-kulasya varjanam

So the first two important points of saranagati, or surrender to Kṛṣṇa is anukulya sankalapah- having the vow of accepting whatever is favorable for Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Or in other words, following the path ofdharma or righteousness. So when a person follows dharma they become famous. Just like Rama followed strictly dharma. Right? Even though His father told Him something, gave Him the order to leave the kingdom, not be coronated the king, and stay in exile for fourteen years- as if He was a criminal! Right. But He wasn’t a criminal; He didn’t commit any wrong. Now, after He went on exile, after His father died, Bharat and the entire population of Ayodhya came to see Him in the forest. And they begged Him to come back. And even Vashiṣṭa Muni, His guru, ordered Him to come back. But He refused. He said, “No. If I do that, then I would make my father into a liar. A son has to respect His parents, and I cannot, you know, do anything to berate the reputation of My father.” So He was following strictly the principles ofdharma. Even when His Guru told Him, “You go back. It’s OK. You don’t have to follow Your father’s, you know, order”, He refused to do that.

Then Yudhiṣṭhira, he was asked to gamble two times. First time he lost, Dhṛtaraṣṭra annulled it. Second time, he knew what was going to happen; they were going to lose again. He knew it, he knew. He know Duṣasan, Sakuni were going to cheat again. But still he went back because of principle of dharma, not to disrespect his father’s brother, who he considered as his own father. He comes back on the principle ofdharma, even though he knew what was going to happen; they were going to be cheated again. And probably this time, Dhṛtaraṣṭra would not cancel the, eh, the drastic loss of kingdom, wife, everything. They knew what was going to happen. But they went back out of respect out of principles of respecting one’s uncle like one’s father.

So we see when a person follows the principles of dharma righteously, they become kirtiḥ, famous. You don’t become famous really because you can put the basketball in the hoop, or the golf ball in the little hole, or put a puck in a goal hockey, or take the football across the goal line, or kick it, you know, for a field goal. That’s, that’s, I mean… It looks like people become famous for this, but they are not really that famous. You become famous by being righteous, by following the principles of dharma. And because it is following, it is considered a feminine quality. But there is not stigma for men also to be, to have that quality – by following. So you see, Yudhiṣṭhira had it, and Bhiṣma Pitamah had it. He vowed he would never get married, and he never did. It caused him a lot of suffering. Eh, eventually he got killed because he kept that vow, you know. Amba, Ambika, and Ambalika- he won them in a svayamvar wedding to give to, eh, to maintain the Kuru dynasty. But Amba decided she wanted to go back and get married to somebody else. And he said, “OK! If you want to”. But when she went back, she was rejected by that king. And, then she came back. Because she had left the protection of Bhiṣma – Bhiṣma won her hand in marriage, so the father transferred his responsibility of protecting her to Bhiṣma, and she asked Bhiṣma, “Let me go and get married to this other king”, and he said “Yes”. So she left the protection. And when she came back, and said, “Now, I’ve come back, and please marry me”, he said, “I cannot, because you left. You are a woman without a protector. Either a woman is protected by her father, or her husband, or her elder son or family members. If she leaves that protection for even one night or one day, she goes out of the vedic, let’s say, strict social order. So when Amba came back, she couldn’t get married to Pandu or whoever Bhiṣma wanted her hand for. And at that point she said, “OK, then you marry me. Youwon my hand”. He said, “No, I can’t do that. I promised my father I would never get married.” She got extremely angry. She was finished; socially she was finished. So she committed suicide with the purpose of taking birth again and kill Bhiṣma. And that is exactly what happened. When she took birth, she was actually a man. But Bhiṣma knew her story. So when he was supposed to be killed, he told Arjuna, “You keep, I forget the name of the man, you keep him in the front.”

Devotees: Shikandi

HG Harivilas Prabhu: Shikandi, yes. “You keep him in the front. I can’t kill him because I know it’s a woman.” See how complicated dharma is? But Bhiṣma was a big devotee, so he understood all these things, and he explained to Arjuna how to kill him. Arjuna was his, eh, you know, favorite, like, disciple in a sense, or Bhiṣma was his grand-sire. So Arjuna had to have permission from Bhiṣma to kill him. He got the permission from him, and Bhiṣma explained to him how he could kill me.

So this fame is a feminine quality. And if a person possesses all of this quality or some of it, the person becomes glorious. If a man is famous as a righteous man, that makes him glorious. So righteousness or following the principles of dharma makes you famous. Or as Lord Caitanya said the most famous person is the pure devotee. You have Prabhupad and the great acaryas. They are the most famous people because they are pure devotees of Kṛṣṇa. You have Kuntidevi, Draupadi, you have so many famous women, because they were pure devotees. Exemplary behavior! You have Arundati, and you have the wife of Atri, you have Anusuya. You can go down the list of many of them. And, of course, you have Sita Devi, and Radharani. You have so many gopis. They are famous because they are pure devotees. They followed the principles of dharma. You have the wives of brahmanas who were not afraid to serve Kṛṣṇa even though their husbands were afraid. And then the husbands later on realized that their wives were spiritually mastered. And even though the husbands were big brahmanas in Vrindavan, but because they were servants of, because they were serving Kamsa, they were afraid to serve Kṛṣṇa, but their wives were not afraid. They were not afraid to die. You don’t just have men or women, you also have Jatayu, a vulture. He was also famous because he was willing to die to save Sita Devi. These are all examples of pure devotees who were willing to do whatever was necessary to serve Kṛṣṇa, even to their own detriment. That means they were following the… and you have Rama Himself who refused to break the principles of dharma.

Then, if after,Sanskrit is a perfect language and is therefore glorious. If after studying own can remember the subject matter, he or she is gifted with good memory or smṛtir. So, just like you may take Bhakti Sastri courses and pass tests, how much of that do you remember? You have to think about how much, I mean, here it says, one is gifted with smṛtir or good memory if the ability to not only read many books on different subject matters but to also understand them and apply them when necessary is intelligence. And before that, if while studying, one can remember a subject matter, he or she is gifted with good memory. So simply passing a test doesn’t mean you really understand. Because when you have to apply that knowledge in a specific circumstance, firstly you have to remember it, and secondly you have to know how to apply it when it is necessary. So first point is good memory, second point is intelligence, being able to apply that knowledge or use that knowledge to solve a particular circumstance. So just like someone asked me, “What do I do in this situation? I have so many challenges in my life. I have children, and husband. I have work. I have my in-laws living with me. And sometimes I am easily getting upset, and I don’t know how to balance this, because it can affect my children, it can affect my marriage, and it can affect my relationship with my in-laws. Now, how do I balance all this?”

Ah! Very good question! So I explained to her- when she asked, “how you can balance it”, I said, “You can balance it by lowering your material expectations”. So the reason you get angry is because you have strong material desires, and you see obstacles to reaching your desires that makes you frustrated.

I said, “Let me give you an example. Tell me about your grandmother. You have a grandmother?”

She said, “Yeah, I have a grandmother”.

“Tell me about her”.

“She was a farmer”.

“Does she have kids? Husband?”

“Yes”.

“Did she get angry?”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know; she never got angry”.

I said, “Did she have in-laws?”

She said, “Yes!”

“So she had everything you have. Did she have any money?”

“No.”

“Oh well, you have money as well. You are well-off.”

OK. So here is a lady, you know, one and a half generations or two generations before she knows, who had the same situation she has, right. Not the same economic level, but the same situation. She had a very humble life; she was a farmer. She raised her kids and so on. But she doesn’t get angry.

She said, “I never saw her angry. Maybe she sometimes becomes angry, but I never saw her angry”.

I said, “What did she… what was her lifestyle? Did she have an altar in the house?”

She said, “Oh yeah, she had an altar”.

I said, “Did she offer the foods to God?”

She said, “Yes. Everyday.”

I said, “What else?” And I went through a list of what the lady was doing; she was a devotee. I don’t know which devotee… which God she was worshipping; probably it was Visnu, you know, or a form of Visnu. And she was a devotee, and she chanted bhajans, and she had some mantras and everything. But she didn’t get angry. Now why is that? Why this lady gets angry, and that lady didn’t get angry? Very interesting! Because her material expectations were not exorbitant. She was satisfied with what Kṛṣṇa gave her. Even though she was in a lower level than we are used to, but she was satisfied with it. She made to do best of a bad bargain. The bad bargain is birth, old age, disease and death. She made the best of it. She realized, “I have a duty; I have to follow my duties. I have duties to my husband, duty to my children, duty to my in-laws, and duty to my parents. Somehow or the other, I have to follow these, and if I get angry, I won’t be able to follow them. But why should I get angry, if my only desire is to perform my duty and not desire anything else? If I desire ‘I want my privacy, I want my own home, I don’t want people intruding my house, I don’t want this, I don’t want that, I want space, blah, blah, blah’ then you get angry, because you want all these things. But if you want to simply perform your duty properly, according to the principles of dharma, then there is no reason to get angry. A mother has a duty to take care of her child, right? When a child is born, it completely depends on the mother. Some mothers, but there are very few, reject that duty. But most mothers take it very seriously. And it is an inconvenience. But they accept the inconvenience out of duty. Or, you could say, out of love also, but it is mostly duty.

So if we follow the principles of dharma, you can see the example of Rama; He accepted all His mothers, even Kaikeyi. Although she put Him in such a difficult situation, He still respected her, never spoke harshly to her. When she came with Bharath and Kausalya and everyone, He forgave her. So did Sita Devi. He never says, “Because of you, We are in trouble”. Rama forgave her. Why? He did not violate the principles of dharma. Even though she did this to Him, He was not upset with her. Even though He could have gone back to Ayodhya and become king, He refused to do it, because He had to follow His father’s order. This is duty.

Just like Arjuna; he learned to be an archer from his guru Dronacarya. Now he had to kill Dronacarya, so he shoots an arrow- Arjuna is the perfect archer- it goes right at the feet of Dronacarya, and Dronacarya understood, “He is paying his obeisance to me.” So Dronacarya shoots an arrow that slightly touches Arjuna’s head, like putting his hand on his head, and giving asirvadh. And the understanding of that was- Arjuna was paying his obeisance and was saying, “Sir, you taught me this art of archery. Thank you very much. But now I have to kill you. This is my duty. Do I have your permission?” And Dronacarya answered him by shooting an arrow back that just whizzed past his head. That means he touched him on his head, and said, “Yes, my dear son. You can kill me now.” This is duty. He didn’t say, “I don’t care what he says.” You know, he asks permission first. And he got the blessing of his guru to kill him.

This is the Vedic code of behavior. It is beyond imagination of most people. But it is there, and it is right in front of our eyes. If you learn Mahabharata from a devotee, not from some scholar- scholars miss all these points; they do not understand anything. They use their speculation and reasoning to come up with different mundane theories about what this means. But when you hear from a genuine devotee, then you understand that this is very high moral righteousness based on strict code of duty that is outlined in Vedic culture. It is not an ordinary thing, you know. It is not based on jihad. It is based on respect for guru.

And then it says the ability to overcome unsteadiness, called firmness or steadiness or dhṛtiḥ. So when a person has dhrt vrat, a vow, a strong vow such as ‘I’ll chant minimum sixteen rounds a day of Hare Kṛṣṇa Mahamantra- Hare Kṛṣṇa Hare Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare’. That firmness or steadfastness or dhṛtiḥ overcomes unsteadiness. When people say, “I’m not going to take care of my in-laws anymore. They are bothering me. I’m just going to tell my husband throw them out of the house. Otherwise I’m leaving.” That’s a violation of duty, a violation of respect, a violation of steadiness. No situation is permanent in this world. You have to realize that. Everything is fluctuating. So you just have to be patient. So therefore patience, kṣama, is another great virtue, a feminine virtue. And when one is fully qualified and gentle, when one is able to keep his or her balance in both sorrow and in ecstasy of joy, he has the opulence called patience or kṣama. So here we see fine speech vak, srir means opulence or beauty, kirtiḥ means fame, smṛtir means memory, medhameans intelligence, dhṛtiḥ means firmness, and kṣama means patience. So the only ones Prabhupad… Prabhupad explains five of them, because srir means opulence or beauty is pretty easy to understand. And vak, fine speech, is important, which means one never uses inappropriate language, and one only speaks those things that are verified by sastras.

As an example, Bilvamangala Thakura went to see a lady of ill repute on a very stormy night. That night his father was dying. He left, didn’t wait to see his father dying, and goes to see this lady. And to get there he had to swim across a raging river by grabbing a dead body, and using it like a log to swim across the river. When he gets across there, he has to climb up a tree and jump up a fence. There was a snake in the tree. He fought with the snake, and killed it. And then he climbs over the fence in the compound. And then he Hs to climb upto the second floor of the building. He is exhausted, he is wet, he is cold- he had a harrowing experience. And then he bangs on the window. The lady comes and opens the door, looks at him and says, “If you had even 1/10th the determination you had tonight to climb up and see me, you will be a pure devotee.” It strikes him like a hammer on his head, and he says, “My God! This is my Guru speaking to me!” He had a Guru, but he was not listening to his Guru. Or his Guru might have been deceased, I don’t know. But he realized, even though this is a woman of ill repute, she is speaking to me these words, and they woke him up. He became determined to go back, bury his father, apologize for the indiscretion, never to do that again- seeking temporary pleasures, carnal pleasures. And he decides to take spiritual life. So this lady became his Guru.

It is very interesting. … Guru means the first person who introduces you in a significant way to spiritual life. So you are indebted to that person. Even though they might not be a pure devotee – this lady was not a pure devotee, right? But she spoke the truth, and that woke him up, and he decided, “I’m going to straighten myself out now.”

OK. So these are feminine qualities. And the definitions – there are five of them. And that is – kirtiḥmeans fame, smṛtir means good memory, medha means good intelligence, dhṛtiḥ means firmness, steadiness, determination and kṣama means patience. Now if we go further, we are learning about the great qualities of women. The number one quality to protect women in society and to keep them always properly situated in their position as chaste daughter, chaste wife, chaste mother, chaste grandmother, etc. is called shyness, lajja. This is the control system in the society for women. So Bhiṣmadev explains in Srimad Bhagavatam, 5th Canto, 6th Chapter, 4th Verse. And Prabhupad further elaborates on this in a lecture he gave in Vrindavan on November 26th, 1976. He is explaining what apuḿscali is.It means ‘an unchaste wife’. He said, “Not that every woman is unchaste.” I mean, you’ve got many examples. The character of women is not a generalization, but there is a chance, if they are not controlled. If they are not properly educated, there is a chance of becoming puḿscali. There have been many instances for women being attracted by a paramour. She has killed even her own son, or her husband. There are cases. So Bhiṣmadev also advised that the shyness of women, lajja – it is a Sanskrit word- is a control system. If you break that shyness, then there will be disaster. That is the control valve naturally given in Vedic culture. And a woman’s shyness is actually her beauty. We’ve got practical experience, and command also. We’ve practical experience in our live. You have seen that my friend came, Dinanath Misra. He was my neighbor. So one day we were sitting in the corridor of his house. And one sweeper woman, she wanted to come in the house – it was really the corridor- but she was really very shy. And she had her head covered. Although she was carrying her broomstick and a bucket, she was waiting, because we were sitting on both sides of the corridor. So she was feeling a little shy to enter the house by passing through us. When we saw her hesitating in this way, we decided to move so that she may come, and not feel uncomfortable by having to walk between two men. This example is given. She is a sweeper, not a very respectable woman. She is a maid servant. But on the account of her shyness, we had to welcome her. Yes, we are moving, you can come in.

Just see! This is psychology. Therefore Bhiṣmadev at his dying stage, he advised that women’s shyness is the valve to control society and relationships in a woman’s life. If there is shyness broken, it would create disaster. Puḿscali. This is the psychology. So things are changing nowadays everywhere. Not only in India, but in other countries also. This is the psychology. So all these examples are given. Why just to control the mind?

Next 40 to 1 hour 20 minutes

In Hindi, there is a proverb that money and wife should always be kept in control. There are so many examples. I had a personal experience also. When I had my company in France, I had a lot of workers, about 200 workers, but at least 40% of these workers were Tamils from Sri Lanka who were refugees. And one of my workers- he was my factory manager- he was finally able to get a visa for his wife to come from Sri Lanka to Paris. So the factory where this Sri Lankan man is working is about 200 miles south of Paris, and he didn’t have a car. And he called me and said, “Prabhuji, this is the first time my wife is coming. She doesn’t speak French. She doesn’t know anything. And I don’t have a car. Can you pick her up from the airport, and bring her to the factory?” I said, “Sure! No problem!” So I went to the airport, Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, and I was waiting. Her flight came in from Sri Lanka. She went through immigration and customs, and she came out. She was looking around, and she had a Sari on, and a head covering. I went upto her and spoke to her, “Is your husband so-and-so?” She said, “Yes, where is her?” “He can’t come, but he asked me to pick you up.I will take you back” She looked at me and said, “I’m not going back with you. I’m not going till my husband comes.” She refused to come. I had to call her husband up, had to arrange for him to be driven 200 mile. I had to wait there. She refused to move. She just sat down, and waited. And then he came. Only then did she agree to go back to the factory where he was living.

Now the same thing happened in Ramayan. Hanuman finds Sita Devi in then Ashoka garden. After talking to her, and proving to her that he is the messenger of Ram – he gives her the ring-She becomes convinced he is not a Rakshasa who was trying to trick her- and then he says, “Mother, you just sit on my back. I’ll take you to Ram.” She said, “No, I cannot do that. You tell Ram He has to come and get me.”

So this is not some strange thing. It’s in the culture. She cannot go with a strange man, sit in the car next to him for 200 miles, even though I was going to take her to see her husband. The same way, Sita refused to sit on the back of Hanuman and go to Ram, even though he was promising Her immediate liberation from Ravana. This is all very interesting. So that is based on chastity and shyness. So this is a very fundamental principle of Vedic culture. Now today, you are seeing something interesting. You have members of ISIS and Al Qaeda – they are killing people. Right? They are killing people. You just had this terrorist attack in France. Now why did they do that? Now number one reason is because Mohammed was insulted by this French newspaper called Charlie Hebdo. But Charlie Hebdo insults everyone. They insulted Kṛṣṇa consciousness also. When I was there, they had these articles making very low class satirical statements about Kṛṣṇa and Prabhupad and the Hare Kṛṣṇa movement, and Pope, and Christianity, Buddhists, and, you know… So they do that to everyone. They are very, very low class. And anyway, another reason they give is because they feel as if the West is imposing on them. Their laissez-faire, or complete independence for women- women can do anything they want. There are women in Arabic countries, like I believe in Lebanon, it is very European. Beirut is like a European city. There are some women there who have the hijab on, but most women don’t wear it. Even Muslim women don’t wear it. But then you go to places in India, you go to Saudi Arabia, you’ll see a large number of women withhijab. There are European style women there too, even Muslim women. But now because of the radicalization of Islam, if you are in Iran, if you are in Saudi Arabia or in Pakistan, where Sharia laws are being practiced, if you walk around like a… or a Muslim woman, or even a Christian woman walks around like a European woman or an American woman, you know, in high heels and tight dresses and everything, they get arrested. And sometimes, they get beaten in public, or threatened. You know, their life is threatened. So they feel as if the West is imposing their standards of liberation of women on their culture. Now, is this part of Christianity? Is it part of Judaism? Is it part of Hinduism? No, it actually isn’t. Because if you look at these religions, especially Hinduism and Kṛṣṇa consciousness, it is not radicalized like Islam, but the principle is there. The women should practice, as we just explained, shyness. They should always be under protection of their father, husband, elder son, or family members. At no time are they independent completely. This is for protection. Right? And then, do they get educated? Yes! Under Vedic culture we said Kunti is an educated woman. Yeah! We read her prayers in Sanskrit. Would you say Sita was educated? Yes! Highly educated. Would you say Radharani is educated and Gopis? They were educated. In what? If you look at the life of Gopis or cowherd girls, right, they know all about milking cows, making all kinds of nice preparations with milk, and grains. Their husbands grew the grains, they take care of the cows, and they lived a happy, healthy life. Right? They know how to cook, they know how to sew. They know how to do a thousand different household duties to keep the house peaceful, to keep the husband happy, and to educate the children. They educate the children; they are the number one educators of the children. So that has been the Vedic way of life for thousands of years, traditionally in India. OK, now, in the Western world, if you don’t have a college education, if you are not a doctor, or a scientist, or an I.T. person, then there is, you know… It’s not only that you have to be born in a Brahmin family, but you also have to have a PhD nowadays. And then you see these marriage websites. ‘Daughter of a Brahmin family has a PhD in philology. Will only marry a Brahmin who has a PhD.’

Well, you know… I mean… I have a first cousin. Name is Ellen. She has a PhD. A very intelligent person. Never got married. One day, I asked her, “How come you never got married?”

“I never found a man who was as intelligent as I was.”

I said, “Did you want to a family?”

“Oh, yeah! I’d really love to have a family.”

I said, “Did you ever think of marrying someone with a Master’s degree.”

“Oh no, never!”

So she limited herself because of her supposed elitism. Now let us look at Gandhari. Gandhari was waymore qualified than Dhṛtaraṣṭra. Firstly she wasn’t blind. Secondly she was a highly accomplished yogini. She had mystical powers. Her husband didn’t have them. She was way above him. But the day she got married, she understood the psychology on man-woman relationship, which is explained in the 3rdCanto of Srimad Bhagavatam, in the history of Aditi, Diti and Kasyapa Muni. This is explained in detail. Psychology- how man and women get along together. She purposely put on blindfolds around her eyes for the rest of her life. And she never thought she was superior to her husband.

Now compare that with my cousin Ellen, who is a …she is actually a very beautiful woman. When she was young, she was a very beautiful, young girl. And she was highly educated. But she had this elitism; she never found a man who she thought was as smart as she was. Of course, that doesn’t exist. There a plenty of men who are smarter than her, right? But she had that concept in her mind, and it held her back from ever getting married. And if she did get married, it probably would have ruined her marriage.

So there’s a lot of different dynamic things that we have to understand about relationships, and qualities in order to navigate through all the difficult situations in life without being a victim, and without victimizing others. See, the wife is supposed to create a situation in the home where the husband feels comfortable, and confidant, and is able to go out every day, and out food on the table, and, you know, keep the peace in the family. Provide the money and the wife provides the home. You can have the house, but without the wife, you cannot have the home. You can buy it; men can buy thousands of houses, but it never becomes the home without the wife of the children. It is very important for both persons to understand that. Now if the wife is also working, it puts an extremely more pressure on her, because she has to maintain the house and the harmony of the family, and at the same time, you know, maintain her professional status. But the ideal situation would be if the husband brings home the money, the wife takes care of the house, and is the number one teacher or guru of the children – at least till the children are old enough to have a bona fide Guru.

So there is another point I want to read that is very, veryimportant. This is in the 11th chapter of Bhagavad-gita. One second, I want to find this because I was very impressed by it myself. Arjuna at a certain point when he sees the Universal Form, he suddenly realizes that Kṛṣṇa is not just a cousin, a friend of the family. He is actually the Supreme Personality of Godhead. So he completely underestimated who He was. Of course, he knew who Kṛṣṇa was; he was just play-acting. You can never be in illusion as to who Kṛṣṇa is, because he is an eternal servant of the Lord. And at that point says something every important. He says

tasmat praṇamya praṇidhaya kayaḿ

prasadaye tvam aham isam iḍyam

piteva putrasya sakheva sakhyuḥ

priyaḥ priyayarhasi deva soḍhum

You are the Supreme Lord, to be worshiped by every living being. Thus I fall down to offer You my respectful obeisances and ask Your mercy. As a father tolerates the impudence of his son, or a friend tolerates the impertinence of a friend, or a wife tolerates the familiarity of her partner, please tolerate the wrongs I may have done You.

• B.G 11.4

I ask your mercy and forgiveness, because I have been too intimate with you. Now I realize you the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The wife tolerat3s the familiarity of her partner or husband. Now why does he say, “The father tolerated the impudence of the son or the friend the impertinence of a friend or wife the familiarity of her partner?” Because when you are married to someone, there is a private life. And the private life can have, you know, complications. There is always the possibility of excessive kama. And that can be uncomfortable for the wife. The husband is out there, in the material world, dealing with the material energy. And sometimes he gets influenced by the society, and then comes back with the carryover from the material society to the privacy of the house, and also the privacy of the relationship. So the wife sometimes has to tolerate the familiarity of her partner. That doesn’t mean … see, the husband cannot treat the wife as an object of sense gratification; that would be a big mistake. But sometimes there are… these things happen. And one cannot navigate though all problems of life unless they are tolerant, and patient, and forgiving, and use their intelligence – how to redirect the energy of their children or husband to positive Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Because that is the only solution. There is no other solution. You cannot put out the fire by feeding it with more gasoline. That doesn’t work. It just makes the situation worse. You can only put out the fire by starving it. But there are peaceful ways of starving that fire. By sublimating that energy toward fun things in Kṛṣṇa consciousness – that’s intelligence. Knowing how to make Kṛṣṇa consciousness fun, creative, and then to transform lust into love – this is what great women in Vedic literature know how to do. This is the skill they learn.

For example, there is an ancient story that I know. There was a very exceptional princess. She was so exceptional that no man dared to marry her. She was greater than them in battle, as well as in intelligence, as well as in governance, in literature, music, and singing. This girl was way above anyone. So she was advised by her grandmother that one day, God would grace her with a suitable husband. But because her father was an older gentlemen, her mother was also old, and she was an only child, she had to take on the responsibility of the kingdom, even though she was still not married. She said, “OK!” And then her grandmother advised her how she could do this. But at one point, the princess asked the grandmother, “I don’t have too much experience in this world. I know one day I have to get married. And I will.” But she said, “While I am still unmarried, you are asking me to take over the management of the kingdom. How will I know who is a good person, and who is not a good person? Of course, if I make a mistake, I could trust someone. It could be a minister, or a suitor, someone who wants to marry me. If I don’t understand who is good, who is really good, and who is not good, I could make a mistake. It could affect the well-being of the whole kingdom, it could ruin my own life, by marrying someone who turns out to be not a good person.” She was a smart girl. So the grandmother told her, “The way you know who is good and who is not good is to, first of all, not make that determination right away. But see how that person acts under different situations. And what you want to see is – is this person prone to kama, krodha, and lobha. Lust, anger, and greed.” And she said, “You will not be able to see it right away. But as you wait, and let situations in life happen, you will be able to see it. If you yourself have control over these three things, you will be able to see who doesn’t have control. The only way you can control these three things is by regularly engaging in the service of Kṛṣṇa, and chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa, and reading Bhagavad-gita, and yes, the association of sadhus.” She said, “Then you will recognize who has kama, krodha, and lobha. So from that point on, because she was going to become the manager of the whole kingdom – you know she wasn’t married – and she had to deal with all these men-ministers, military men, and powerful politicians, and businessmen. She began to be a serious about Kṛṣṇa consciousness in her private life. Her grandmother was always instructing her. So then she does become the ruler of the kingdom; father is very old, and he is not able to continue. So one day- she has a public meaning once a week; anyone can come and address something – one man comes in. He is an older man. He is about 68 years old. She is only like 22. This man comes in and says, “Dear Queen, I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife, and I want to have intimate relations with you. I will teach you everything. I know you are not experienced.” He does this in public, in front of everyone, you know. Not that he could see her privately; he could never see her privately, but in public he says this, and he is very forthcoming and very bold and he is an old guy. She said, “OK, thank you, Sir! We will arrange the marriage next week. You come back the same time next week, and we will get married.” Everyone is shocked. Everyone is totally shocked. This guy is old, really old. And she is so young, He was very bold and rude, and she said ‘yes’. So this guy is super happy, he said, “OK my dear I know you don’t realize my extra days in all this’ Then he makes all this preparations, buys clothes, gets his hair dyed, gets manicured, puts on a ring and a gold necklace. He spends a lot of money and he makes all the preparations. She also makes the preparation. She has her personal bed put in the assembly room, where she meets everyone. It is all decorated. So the day comes. He comes. He is expecting to see the Brahmins and fire pits, and, you know, the marriage is going to take place. And everything is there. The fire-pit is there, the Brahmins are there, and there is big, big bed there, also. So he is expecting to get married. And she says, “I am very happy you are here. We can get married. We can consummate our marriage right here.” He is not sure what she means. He looks around, and sees a big bed there. He is looking around and there are big soldiers. They all look like, you know, Mr. America, you know, with muscles and everything. And there are women there and children there. And the bed is all decorated and everything, and he said, “Oh my dear child, you don’t understand these things. These things happen in a private room.” But she said, “You proposed marriage to me publicly, in front of all these people. Why should there be anything private?” He has a chill right down his spine, and he said, “Eh, eh, you don’t understand.” “No, I understand perfectly. We’ll consummate our marriage in front of everyone.” And the guy suddenly realizes he is not going to… he cannot do that. He becomes very embarrassed. Everyone is looking at him with nasty looks, and finally he gets so embarrassed that he walks out, and never comes back again.

So that is the point. In order to best manifest the inappropriate kama, one needs privacy. You can’t do it in public. Although, of course, nowadays, some people do things like that in public. Few, very few. But most people do these things in privacy. Anytime you want to do something illicit, you have to be sure that no one is watching, that there are no witnesses, that you can get away with it. Therefore in the Vedic culture, usually the husband and wife live separately in the same house. So if you go to a traditional… in Bengal you have this traditional compound houses, right? There is the compound part of the house where all the women are staying, and there is a compound part of the house where the men stay, even though they are married. So there is a certain separation that is recommended. That doesn’t mean you can’t have children, of course you can have children. But that separation so that there is peace in the mind, and practice of spiritual life. And people come together to worship the deity of the house. Or they all go together to the temple. And in this way, there is a strict code of behavior by which men and women relate to each other in the Vedic system to keep peace and harmony, and to transform lust into love. When we follow this way of life, the children are happy, the wife is happy, the husband is happy. There is peace in society. And there are no varṇa-sańkaraḥ or unwanted children. Because people take responsibility of raising the children. But in an imperfect world, specifically the West- you come from the society is more or less structured, at least in India one or two generations go, but now it is getting weaker, but it was structured like this, and there are examples you can see- but nowadays, even in India you can see to a certain degree. But it is more prevalent in here. You come here, you get married, and then, you get job in United States and you come here. There is no support of a family, and you know, extended family. And, either the wife is home all day or she is also working. And then there are children and everything sort of breaks down. All the social structures, all the ritual things that people were doing normally, it all breaks down, and you are just working. And in a materialistic society, you get influenced by it, and then that enters into the relationship also. There is a breakdown of relationships between husband and wife, because of increase of kama, lobha andkrodha. So we have to think very deeply about this, especially in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. How can we get back to the proper understanding of man-woman relationship in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and create the context, at least in the home and the temple, where that relationship is supported? That men rise above the debasing qualities of kama, lobha and krodha, and women also. And it creates a situation of peace. So Prabhupad talks about this extensively in the Bhagavad-gita. The one thing that is breaking down is the idea of equal independence for men and women in United States, and now all over the Western world. Prabhupad says in Bhagavad-gita, 16th Chapter, 7th Verse:

As for behavior, there are many rules and regulations guiding human behavior, such as the Manu-saḿhita, which is the law of the human race. Even up to today, those who are Hindu follow the Manu-saḿhita. Laws of inheritance and other legalities are derived from this book. Now, in the Manu-saḿhita it is clearly stated that a woman should not be given freedom. That does not mean that women are to be kept as slaves, but they are like children. Children are not given freedom, but that does not mean that they are kept as slaves. The demons have now neglected such injunctions, and they think that women should be given as much freedom as men. However, this has not improved the social condition of the world. Actually, a woman should be given protection at every stage of life. She should be given protection by the father in her younger days, by the husband in her youth, and by the grownup sons in her old age. This is proper social behavior according to the Manu-saḿhita. But modern education has artificially devised a puffed-up concept of womanly life, and therefore marriage is practically now an imagination in human society. Nor is the moral condition of woman very good now. The demons, therefore, do not accept any instruction which is good for society, and because they do not follow the experience of great sages and the rules and regulations laid down by the sages, the social condition of the demoniac people is very miserable.

• B.G. 16.7

Now that’s a fact. If you look, there’s a lot of divorce taking place in the United States. There are a lot of broken homes. There are a lot of single parent homes. Has it made the condition better? No! It is leading to the breakdown of the family. There are laws that support the breakdown of the family in the United States. If a woman is not married and has children, she gets financial help from the government. She can make it on her own without having a husband. And a lot of people, by force or by desire, get divorced so that the wife can get that money. And the husband that can sustain wait so that she can’t get that money. And there are a lot…I mean, don’t look at the Indian community. You’ll get that in the black community, and the poor white community in the United States, this is happening in a massive scale, you know. And this is ruining the family structure in the country. Well, almost 40% of the children born in this country are born in a single family, single parent family because of divorce or whatever.

Then, Srila Prabhupad also talks about other things. In Bhagavad-gita, 9th Chapter, 32nd Verse, he says:

maḿ hi partha vyapasritya

ye ‘pi syuḥ papa-yonayaḥ

striyo vaisyas tatha sudras

te ‘pi yanti paraḿ gatim

O son of Pṛtha, those who take shelter in Me, though they be of lower birth — women, vaisyas [merchants] and sudras [workers] — can attain the supreme destination.

• B.G. 9.32

Now this verse sometimes gets women upset. Because they say, “What do you mean by lower birth? My husband is lower than I am; I can prove it.” Yeah, he might be a vaisyas or he might be a sudras.By the way, everybody is sudras in the age. Kalo sudras samba. Anyone born today, even if they are born in Brahmin families, are sudras. As soon as you work for somebody else, you might be born in Brahmin family, you might have a PhD, you come to United States, you make a job application to a university or a company, as soon as you accept the job, you are a sudras and not a Brahmin. Brahmins are independent. They never work for anybody, because in that way they can speak honestly. They are not being salaried by anyone. But as soon as you are salaried you are no longer a Brahmin. This is a fact. So, ok, fine, we are all sudras. There is not one that is better than the other. But by practicing Kṛṣṇa consciousness, sudras is a designation in the varṇa system, social system. But Kṛṣṇa consciousness is varṇasrama system. So even though one may be a sudras, they can participate in theasrama system and be elevated. Through proper brahmacari life, then proper gṛhastha life, then propervanaprastha, and then proper sannyasa life. SO even though one is born a sudras, there is no impediment to rising through the asrama system and becoming the top spiritual practitioner. So being a sudras is not a disqualification, as long as the asrama system is present.

And that’s what the temple is all about. The temple is a perfect example of daiva varṇasrama system- God-centric varṇasrama. Everyone who walks in here… It is a little bit different nowadays. Most people from Indian origin who are in this country are usually well educated people. They have already figured out their varṇa. ‘I am an I.T. person’, or ‘I have my own company’, ‘I am a professor in a university, or ‘I’ve my own business.’ So they have figured out how to make their living honestly. That is calledvarṇa. Not dishonestly, but honestly. But what they don’t have figured out is their asrama. Because that training has broken down even in India, not completely but to a large extent. It has broken down completely in United States. So you come here, and out of sentiment or whatever ‘Let’s go see a temple’ – there are different temples – this temple doesn’t say ‘oh you are born in a …”, ‘oh your name is Chaudhary? That means you are a sudra. We can teach you to be a Brahmin here, we can initiate you, but you can’t come to the rituals.’ But we are not like that. I am less than a sudra. I am a mlecchaor a yavana, born to a meat-eating family, a Christian family. I have no sanskar. And yet Prabhupad accepted me, and educated me through the asrama system. And then I learned to make an honest living, not cheating people, and I’ve always been able to advance in Krsna consciousness because he situated me properly, he educated me properly. So we have no… there is no disqualification when you come here due to your birth in a certain type of family, or a social position. Everyone can advance spiritually in the daiva varṇasrama system. And especially because of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s sankirtan movement. The sankirtan movement does not recognize caste. It simply recognizes you are a servant of Krsna in a particular body. But we all recognize the body. It doesn’t matter whether it is white, black, north Indian, South Indian, Latino, and Russian, whatever. As long as a person chants Hare Krsna, takes prasadam, bows down to Krsna, and hears Bhagavad-gita, they can advance in the entire asrama system and become a … whether it is a man or a woman. That’s another thing. We don’t say ‘women can’t touch the Deity.’ Yeah! You can, if you go through the proper education. It is clearly declared here by the Supreme Lord that in devotional service there is no distinction between the lower and higher classes of people. In the material conception of life there are such divisions, but for a person engaged in transcendental devotional service to the Lord there are not. This is a particular difference here in Vedic Cultural Center, in ISKCON. Everyone is eligible for the supreme destination. In the Srimad-Bhagavatam (2.4.18) it is stated that even the lowest, who are called caṇḍalas (dog-eaters), can be purified by association with a pure devotee. Therefore devotional service and the guidance of a pure devotee are so strong that there is no discrimination between the lower and higher classes of men; anyone can take to it. The most simple man taking shelter of the pure devotee can be purified by proper guidance. According to the different modes of material nature, men are classified in the mode of goodness (brahmaṇas), the mode of passion (kṣatriyas, or administrators), the mixed modes of passion and ignorance (vaisyas, or merchants), and the mode of ignorance (sudras, or workers). Those lower than them are called caṇḍalas, and they are born in sinful families. There is my category. I was born in a sinful family. Generally, the association of those born in sinful families is not accepted by the higher classes. But the process of devotional service is so strong that the pure devotee of the Supreme Lord can enable people of all the lower classes to attain the highest perfection of life. This is possible only when one takes shelter of Kṛṣṇa. As indicated here by the word vyapasritya, one has to take shelter completely of Kṛṣṇa. Then one can become much greater than great jsanis and yogis.

• B. G. 9.32

This is an explanation of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and real Vedic culture. So when I first joined the movement, I joined in London. I was going to Southall, which is a huge Indian neighborhood in London. And we would go door-to-door at night freezing weather, like this weather now, for at least four hours every night starting from 7:00, sometimes till 10:00 or 11:00. We would just knock on the door, and we’d ask if they would let us come in, and we would talk to them about Kṛṣṇa. So we knocked on one door, and we came in. There was this normal Indian family, and they were watching television. They let us in and they said, “We have a grandmother who would like to see you guys.” We didn’t understand what they meant. They said, “She’s like you.” But she wasn’t there watching television. We had to go upstairs, there was a bedroom. There was a very old Gujarati grandmother. So as soon as we open the door, she sees us dressed as brahmacaris – shaved heads, dressed in saffron cloth. She immediately did pranam. She invited us in the small bedroom, made us sit down on her bed. She had a little altar in the closet. And she was there… she had a little book. She was reading something in Hindi or Gujarati or some script. So she could only speak Gujarati and a little bit Hindi. We could only speak in English. So she just said, “kirtan, kirtan.” So we were sitting there. Now all the others, her children, and grandchildren were all downstairs watching some stupid film in British television. Really dumb thing. Didn’t really look at it, but you could tell it was stupid, you know. So we all started the kirtan. After the kirtan, she makes a little offering, you know, some fruit or something. And as she does the arti, we are singing during arti. And afterwards she gives us prasadam. Then she said, “Pravacan.” We read the Bhagavad-gita. Now she didn’t understand one word. She only speaks Gujarati and a little bit of Hindi. But she sat and listened. And then she said, “Dhanyavad, bahut dhanyavad”. She was very happy. Then we were going downstairs. Everyone was still watching television. So we spoke a minute or two with the son. He said, “Oh my mother likes this.” Meaning they don’t like it so much. [HVP laughs] And I said, “You should bring her to our temple.” “Oh OK, OK, we will come to the temple, maybe during Janmastami we will come Once a year..” So we see something happened between the grandmother’s generation and the next generation, her son, and then the next generation, the grandchildren. Something broke down. The passation of the culture broke down. And this is a general trend. Would you agree with that? It’s a general trend that’s happening. So when Prabhupad started this temple, he brought this to India also. He didn’t preach just in United States. He brought his Western students back to India to open temples. And they have done a good job of it. Because he knew it was breaking down seriously in India, which is the land of dharma, the sanatan dharma. Maybe it’s a little stronger, sanatan dharma is stronger in South India than in North India. North India is definitely broken down. In South India, it is still preserved, somewhat. But it is tottering also. It is in difficulty also. So we don’t want it to break down here. We want to be able to teach our children this culture. But it is a decision that a husband and wife have to make together. I mean, it is OK, the wife can do it on her own, but her husband doesn’t support her. It is much better if the husband and wife do it together.

So the temple is organized in such a way that the whole family can come here. The children can be educated, and the husband and wife can be educated together also in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. We have D.Y.S., Bhakti-gita courses, and all the other courses, and anyone, anyone can be trained to go up the altar and worship the Deities. We don’t discourage anyone. And we are giving the training, if you want to do that. So this verse, Bhagavad-gita, 9th Chapter, 32nd verse is the key verse to understanding Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Anyone, regardless of what their situation is, they can become a pure devotee of Kṛṣṇa in this lifetime, and influence their family members, their neighborhood, their coworkers, everybody, by the purity of their practice, not fanatical practice, by the purity of their practice. We don’t impose Kṛṣṇa consciousness on anyone.

Last 1 hour 20 minutes to end

And if we follow properly, like women could cover their hair when they come to the temple, have a nice Sari on, and children are dressed nicely. Just like whenever there is a South Indian festival here, women over here wear their best Saris. Right… their best Saris. And they come, sit down, and they sing bhajans. It is a very nice atmosphere when that happens. So people should see what? If they see happy women, and children, and families, they know something important is happening here. That’s the proof that there is a spiritual atmosphere – that the women and children are happy, and husbands are tame and also happy. And the family unit is strong. That’s what we are aiming for. If that happens we have succeeded. And because of that tremendous efforts are happening. We have a regular school, we are having a preschool, adult education is happening, hopefully a peaceful temple. Peaceful temple means the behavior of the devotees is very gentle. People speak very nicely. There is no kama, krodha, and lobha. Everyone is a volunteer. No one is getting some high salary to do a professional puja for hire. There are no materialistic sanskars being done. “Oh you want yourbusiness to do better, lets do homa for your business.’ No, we don’t do that. Now what we do is try and help people become spiritually elevated. If you become spiritually elevated, you don’t have to worry about your material life. Why? This is explained in the 10th chapter, 11th verse of Bhagavad-gita.

Due to the contamination of material association, through many, many millions of births, one’s heart is always covered with the dust of materialism, but when one engages in devotional service and constantly chants Hare Kṛṣṇa, the dust quickly clears, and one is elevated to the platform of pure knowledge. The ultimate goal, Viṣṇu, can be attained only by this chant and by devotional and not by mental speculation or argument.

• B.G. 10.11

Pure knowledge is ‘I am part and parcel of Kṛṣṇa. Therefore my duty is to serve the Lord with gentleness, with determination, with empathy, and with compassion. And hopefully –the reason I came into this world is because of kama – I will be able to transform this kama into pure prema, pure love. And I’ll be able to help my family also do that. ‘Chant’ means the Hare Kṛṣṇa Mahamantra and the names of God- Govinda, Rama etc. Devotional service or seva inthe association of devotees.You can study Bhagavad-gita in the University of Washington. They have that course; my daughter took that course. And in the end you are convinced that Kṛṣṇa is a historical character, as is Rama. It is all mythology, and there are some interesting things about it. But it is not for me, because they don’t think women should be liberated. They think women should be servant of her family and her husband. We don’t agree with that. We agree with the modern concept of woman. She should be independent. She should be on equal footing with men, and men should be the servants of women. Women shouldn’t be the servants of men. But that is violating the whole psychological presentation in the Bhagavatam on how to have a peaceful married life and be happy with children. Of course, now men cannot be abusive. Men have to be gurus. Men should be trained. They should not be trained to be like Terminator 3 or Agent 007.That is not a man, that is an animal. They have to be in the same sort of tradition as Rama. Rama had control of His mind and senses, and He followed the principles of dharma happily and strictly. So did Yudhiṣṭhira, so did Arjuna. Even during the war, they did not violate the principles of dharma. When Arjuna captured Asvatthama who had killed his five children- he tried to kill Arjuna, he tried to kill Uttara and Parikṣit who was in the womb of Uttara. After all that they catch him. But before he killed him, he asked Kṛṣṇa what he should do. Kṛṣṇa says, “Kill him!” But Draupadi interjects, “No, don’t kill him because he has a mother. I am suffering terribly because he killed my kids. I cannot cause the same suffering to his mother.” This is Vedic culture. So Arjuna is confused now. His wife is saying, “Don’t kill him.” His friend and guru, Kṛṣṇa, the Supreme Personality of Godhead says, “Kill him.” So what does he do? He goes back to his guru and says, “What should I do?” Kṛṣṇa says, “Draupadi is right. I am also right. Therefore you have to kill him, because it says so in Bhagavad-gita in 2nd Chapter. We always depend on sastric evidence to understand what to do. We don’t just speculate. It says

akirtiḿ capi bhutani

kathayiṣyanti te ‘vyayam

sambhavitasya cakirtir

maraṇad atiricyate

People will always speak of your infamy, and for a respectable person, dishonor is worse than death.

• B.G. 2.34

So Kṛṣṇa gave him the hint. What does Arjuna do? He scalps Asvatthama. He doesn’t shave him, he scalps him. So hair can never grow again on his head. But he doesn’t kill him. Then he is cursed to live outside of Vedic society till the end of this yuga, which means for a very long time. He is still alive, but he is not allowed to come into society. And he is shamed, right? His hair is scalped. Meaning he has a scar on his head. So for a respectable person, dishonor is worse than death. So actually he killed him, but he didn’t take his life away. Now how do you figure this stuff? Only if you have a bona fide guru, and if the guru is teaching from sastras, not from his own theories or speculation. So this is the way we should organize our lives. So now, it says here:

The pure devotee does not have to worry about the material necessities of life; he need not be anxious, because when he removes the darkness from his heart, everything is provided automatically by the Supreme Lord, who is pleased by the loving devotional service of the devotee. This is the essence of the teachings of Bhagavad-gita. By studying Bhagavad-gita, one can become a soul completely surrendered to the Supreme Lord and engage himself in pure devotional service. As the Lord takes charge, one becomes completely free from all kinds of materialistic endeavors.

• B.G. 10.11

You should read this everyday. You will not be in fear of economic distress if you become a devotee. Actually you should be sure that if you focus your life on purely serving Kṛṣṇa, Radha and Kṛṣṇa, somehow or other, by some mysterious way Kṛṣṇa will take care of you and your family even during the most difficult times. Now Prabhupad himself experienced this. In WWII, in Calcutta, the Japanese were bombing Calcutta, and the British purposely created a famine. Just as they did in Ireland, they used the same technique in Bengal, because Bengal was the hotbed of opposition to British rule. They had Subhas Candra Bose. He formed the Indian Independence Army in Burma. And they were being supplied by the Japanese, and they were threatening to invade India. Many young Bengali boys were running away from Bengal to join that army. The British knew this. So what did they do? They used their best strategy. They created an artificial famine in Bengal. People were dying, starving to death in the streets. And it was a very difficult time. Plus the Japanese were also bombing, sometimes, Calcutta. The British had a big army garrison there. So Prabhupad was there and he knew this, you know, that Kṛṣṇa promises to take care of His devotees. So he went around and did a survey of all the Vaisnavas he knew. Because people were dying in the streets, starving to death. They couldn’t buy rice. The rice were being held in the godowns, and guarded by British military to run the price up. So the price went up drastically. No one could afford to buy it, and other things. So Prabhupad went around to all the Vaisnavas and asked them how they were doing. They said, “Somehow by Kṛṣṇa’s mercy, we are surviving.” He saw with his own eyes. Even though so many people were starving to death and dying, the Vaisnavas, somehow or other were able to exist in that terrible dire situation.

kaunteya pratijanihi

na me bhaktah pranasyati

O son of Kunti, declare it boldly that My devotee never perishes. – B.G. 9.31

Just like Prahlad Maharaj did not perish, just like Dhruv Maharaj did not perish, the Pandavas did not perish, so we have to have this faith. So Bhagavad-gita, 10th Chapter, 11th Verse is very important. Our main focus in life should be to develop pure devotion to Kṛṣṇa, Radha and Kṛṣṇa. Notice it is Radha and Kṛṣṇa. Radharani is the queen of Vrindavan. Even Kṛṣṇa is surrendered to her. Therefore for people in Vrindavan, it is not ‘Jai Sri Kṛṣṇa’. They say ‘Jai Radhe’.

OK, we will stop right there. If you have any questions, you can ask. The main theme with this talk is a woman should be an expert to transform lust into love. It is a big topic. If you are able to do that, then your whole family will be very peaceful. People are not seeking lust; they are seeking real love. You have to think deeply about this. Maybe we can talk about it in another time.

Questions:

Devotee 1: Just a verification. You advised that we should keep our head covered. Is it only inside the temple, or all the time?

HG Harivilas Prabhu: It is nice to do it all the time. If you go to Rajasthan, all the women, all the Hindu women are always covered. In other places also. In more traditional society they are always covered. You don’t cover your face. Sometimes Rajashtanis cover their face also with their Sari but at least the hair should be covered, especially in the temple. You don’t have to go to work, you know, for some reason or the other. But it is a symbol of something. The red dot and hair cover are symbols of something. It is a symbol that this is a married woman, and she is respected as a married woman. At home, she can be lavishly dressed, because, you know, that is in the home. But out in the street, one should have a very modest appearance. Modesty. Modesty is the control system; that is what we discussed today. Modesty is the control system.

Devotee 2: Prabhuji, if we are outside the temple, but in the presence of senior devotees, should we keep our head covered?

HG Harivilas Prabhu: In general, in the Vedic culture… let me tell you what the Vedic culture was. In Calcutta, a respectable woman would never be seen in public. If she had to be in public, she had to be carried in a palanquin covered in four sides, right? You know about this? This was traditional in India. Respectable women would never walk around in public. They would always be carried around in their palanquin by four men. All four sides would be covered. When she reached her destination, she would go inside. In Dvaraka, during Kṛṣṇa’s time, most women stayed on the higher levels of the buildings, and they would see what was happening. But they weren’t necessarily walking down the ground level. We are not going to do that here, but just to give you an idea; the modesty is a control system to protect women, and to protect them from attracting unwanted nonsense men. I know a woman, she is a Fijian lady. Very nice lady. She had a very nice daughter. The daughter went to public school and some guy became… some boy became attracted to her. He might have been 16, she was 15. They were going to school. He felt that he should be alone with this girl. And he became obsessed with her. When she tried to break off – she wasn’t interested, but he kept pestering her – when she tried to break off the relationship, he killed her, and then killed himself. It is a real story. I know the lady, and it was like a great tragedy. She lost her daughter. So this modesty is an extremely important thing for women. It will protect them, and protect themselves from attracting unworthy men to public exposure.

Devotee 3: How can a woman become an expert in converting lust to love?

HG Harivilas Prabhu: You read Srimad Bhagavatam. I’ll show you what to read. All right? I’ll tell you. You read about Kardama muni and Devahuti, right? And you read about Kasyapa muni, and Diti and Aditi. It is explained there. You read about Lord Siva also, and Parvati. It is in the 4th Canto. But this is explained in detail in the Bhagavad-gita. It says in 3rd Chapter, 41st verse.

Lust is only the perverted reflection of the love of God which is natural for every living entity. But if one is educated in Kṛṣṇa consciousness from the very beginning, that natural love of God cannot deteriorate into lust. When love of God deteriorates into lust, it is very difficult to return to the normal condition. Nonetheless, Kṛṣṇa consciousness is so powerful that even a late beginner can become a lover of God by following the regulative principles of devotional service. So, from any stage of life, or from the time of understanding its urgency, one can begin regulating the senses in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, devotional service of the Lord, and turn the lust into love of Godhead — the highest perfectional stage of human life

• B.G. 3.41

Love of God is natural. Lust is not natural. It is just like when water is frozen it becomes ice. But it is not the natural form. When it melts, it comes back to water, to its natural form. Right? This is why we have our school, our Sunday school. We want to educate our kids right from the beginning on how to love Kṛṣṇa. The regulative principles are 8 – 4 Don’ts and 4 Dos. So when we teach a person, either a man or a woman how to worship the Deity, how to prepare themselves for initiation, diksa dan, and laterupanayanam or brahminical initiation so that they can actually worship the Deity in the temple, those are important steps in transforming lust into love. When that service is sustained, and the chanting is sustained, and hearing Bhagavad-gita is sustained, and hearing Srimad Bhagavatam is sustained, you will see this miraculous transformation of lust into love, whether it is a man or a woman. Best is right from the beginning of life, and not to let the love for Kṛṣṇa deteriorate into lust. So, therefore, the critical years are 16-20. Those are the critical years. So if the child can remain chaste during those years – that’s when… you can say 16-20 is the real awakening, puberty on, 16-20 is when they will make decisions on whether they are going to follow or not follow this path of dharma. Those are the critical years. So if a child can remain chaste, and continue their spiritual study instead of just material studies, then they get qualified, they get married to a proper person, then in rest of their life, they will be able to follow. I know one boy who grew up in this temple. Right now, he is a heart surgeon. Very good boy. He came to United States when he couldn’t even speak English. He came when he was nine years old. His father brought him here. Then he started coming here all the time. Then they moved to Bellingham, but the boy when he was in the University of Washington, came to my lectures every week in U. district, right? And he always stayed in touch with Kṛṣṇa consciousness. He came here the other day on January 4th to say hello. He is a heart cardiologist now, highly trained person. He didn’t know English, couldn’t speak one word of English. He was 9 years old when he came. He was a good boy. He was trained in Kṛṣṇa consciousness here, and wherever he goes, he practices Kṛṣṇa consciousness. So he goes to a temple, right? He got married to a nice girl, and now he is going to be moving back here once he finishes his last internship, and he is going to get a permanent position in a hospital or private practice. Because his father kept bringing him. He got trained in a temple. So he went through the whole educational system without wavering into materialistic consciousness. That’s what we are trying to do. It can happen to anyone, whether they are coming here at 60 years old. Now we have seen examples of people coming here at 60/65 and they become genuine devotees just by associating here in the temple, going to the classes, and chanting. There is no obstacle. But in real answer to your question, if you take seriously to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, chanting, hearing, serving, and then advancing first and then second initiation, and then getting into the Deity worship, which is highly recommended for gṛhasthas. Very highly recommended. If you don’t live near the temple, then you establish the Deity in your house, which is traditional, and Tulsi Devi, and you live the same life that we practice in the temple, then you can transform lust into love. Difference between lust and love is, the object of lust is material body, and object of love is Kṛṣṇa’s body. That’s the difference. The same feeling is directed toward Kṛṣṇa is love. And the same feeling directed toward a material body is lust.

Thank you very much. I hope I didn’t say anything that disturbed your mind. The Kṛṣṇa consciousness is progressive. As we surrender gradually- and it is a gradual process, and not an immediate process- as you surrender gradually, Kṛṣṇa reveals more to you.

ye yatha maḿ prapadyante

taḿs tathaiva bhajamy aham

mama vartmanuvartante

manuṣyaḥ partha sarvasaḥ

As all surrender unto Me, I reward them accordingly. Everyone follows My path in all respects, O son of Pṛtha.

• B.G. 4.11

As we surrender ourselves to Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa proportionately reveals Himself to us. So if you surrender 1% Kṛṣṇa shows you 1%. If you surrender 10%, Kṛṣṇa shows you 10%. So if you surrender 100%, it all depends on what your desire is. If desire is to continue in the material world life after life… I had a friend of mine. He is a little wealthy. He told me one day, “My desire is.. I want to always take birth in Medina.” Medina is a neighborhood, right? Very wealthy people live there- Bill Gates, and others. He lived… this man lived in Medina.

“I want to take birth in Medina. I want to continue like this.”

I said, “Prabhu, that’s…not so good.”

“Why, what do you mean ‘not so good’?”

“You don’t want to take birth again. That’s what … you should go to Vaikunta. Vaikunta is the super-Medina.”

This is the lower Media. That is the higher Medina. I put some doubt in this mind. That’s OK. Maybe you can tell me more about that Medina.

We should have a much higher goal.

Devotee 4 : Prabhu you said that the protection is divided by the father, the husband and the elder son.

HG Harivilas Prabhu: You get protection from the temple, and following the principles of dharma. How was Sita protected? She didn’t have her husband, She didn’t have her father, She didn’t have her son. How was She protected? She was protected by following the principles of dharma, and being chaste. Ravana was promising her, “You become my wife. I’ll surrender to you. And all my wives (he had thousands of them) will be your servants. You and I will go all over the universe in Puspaka, and I will show you everything.” He promised her everything. Sita said, “Anybody knows that a swan is not interested in the crow.” She remained completely chaste to Rama. Even when Rama asked Her to go into exile, and She was pregnant to leave Ayodhya and live in the forest, She didn’t protest. She didn’t like it, but She didn’t protest. She to Laksmana, “I understand why He is doing this. You tell Him that I will always be faithful to Him.” And she left. And the proof that She was faithful to Him was the She never turned Her children against Him. She never said anything bad about Rama to the children. So when Her children lava and Kusa went to Ayodhya and recited the Ramayan in front of Rama, they didn’t know He was their father. And they didn’t have any negative opinion of Him. But they had a doubt in their minds. So when they went back to Valmiki’s asram, they sought their mother and told Her, “We have a big doubt in our minds. We went to see this king in Ayodhya, and right next to Him was a big statue of you in pure gold. Why was that statue there? Why was your statue there?” Then She had to reveal to them that She was the wife of Rama, and Rama was their father. That was the first time they found out Rama was their father. She always remained faithful to Him, even though she went through this terrible ordeal and had to leave Her husband, and leave separately while She was pregnant, and then raise Her kids in the asrama of Valmiki.

We should read the sastras to understand. When Bhiṣmapitamah was speaking to Kunti Devi, he told her, “What happened to you and the Pandavas is unspeakable. No ordinary person could have gone through so much sufferings. They would have given up. But you were able to do it for three reasons.

1. You were protected by following the principles of Kṛṣṇa consciousness or dharma.

2. You were protected by the blessings of the gurus

3. You were protected by Kṛṣṇa Himself.

That’s the only reason you survived. Any ordinary person would have succumbed, would have given up, or died. But you were able to go through all that because of the three reasons.

So if you don’t have father, husband or son, but you have principles of Kṛṣṇa consciousness or dharma. You have the possibility of having a guru, a bona fide guru who is the representative of Kṛṣṇa. And you have Kṛṣṇa Himself. You will be able to survive even in the most hostile environment because you have protection of these three. Or as we say,

sri-caitanya-nityananda sri-advaita-sita

hari guru vaishnava bhagavata gita

All glories to Sri Caitanya and Nityananda! All glories to Sri Advaita Acarya and His consort, Sri Sita Thakurani. All glories to Lord Hari, to the spiritual master, the Vaishnavas, Srimad-Bhagavatam, and Srimad Bhagavad-Gita.

Those four things will keep your sanity, and will keep your safety intact so that you can continue in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Hari, Guru, Vaisnava, Bhagavad-gita.

So Ok, maybe we will end. Thank you very much. All glories to Prabhupada. Hare Kṛṣṇa.