Please, don't GO!!!

6 years old kid; seeing what had happened I ran to hide the knives so that my parents don't kill each other.
Yes, I was a kid for whom both mom & dad were like a world to live in. I couldn't imagine life without them.
This was the time when Soviet Union had collapsed; Ruble value went down; country which was ruled over 70 years now, had no father to take care of. Even if you do your job, there is no guarantee that you will be paid for it. Even if you got your money, there would be no guarantee you would find a bread as your family's daily food.
My mom was a pediatrician & anesthesiologist & dad was a chemical engineer. Both of them working to feed, educate & dress their four kids. But the problem was, even though they do their job they were not paid for several months. So we had to borrow money & food. We had to have a feast only when some people, my mom's patients whom she helped with their health, bring grains, vegetables, fruits & most of the time baked naan with some candies. But other times, my elder sister daily had to stand in queue for buying particular amount of Russian Buhanka. Sometimes when bread gets over she used to come with empty hands.
Then my mom used to send us, kids, to her friend's home, who used to work in bread factory,  for bread. Sometimes she used to give but sometimes she also used to tell that she does not have enough to give. 
One day I remember, mom was rolling wheat dough to make a dish out of it. She used to make dough, shape the dough in small pieces like a thin note book paper and boil it. Then garnish that boiled dough with tomato chutney. But that day while she was making a dough I saw tears falling from her eyes. When my dad entered a kitchen she told him that we don't have money. 'We don't have anything at home. How will I feed these kids?' telling these with frustrated voice she continued crying. Seeing her tears my dad went out and after some time came in with some little money and told that we can buy some tomatoes for garnishing. Mom was happy and she smiled out of gratitude. But this didn't end with it.
It was late evening and suddenly I heard my mom & dad fighting loudly. I was scared. I love them both. Fight was so big that my mom cried and went out to leave the home. Now it was a really shock for me. Immediately I ran to kitchen and hide two knives we had at home behind the oven. I was so much scared that out of frustration they may hurt each other. While coming out I saw my dad standing sad holding his two hands on the rope where we dry clothes. Again my mind thought "oh my God! What if my dad commits suicide with this rope???"
But I didn't have time to look after him so I ran outside to stop my mom.
It was already night outside, I saw mom disappearing from the sight as she was walking away. So I ran & called for her: "Mom, please wait, where are you going?"
   -"I am going to my mom's home" - with tears in her eyes she replied.
Holding her arm with my two tiny hands & choking voice I said "Mom, please come home!"
Saying that I couldn't control tears flowing from my eyes. Seeing me cry, she wept even stronger. Then she sat & embraced me. This way, holding our hands we came back home.
And this used to happen all the time when my mom & dad fight; every time I used to hide the knives first & then look after each of them so that they don't hurt themselves or separate.
I used to love my mom and dad equally. I used to be cheerful & happy when my parents in good relationship with each other. Probably their happy union was the meaning of my life at that time. But as a child I didn't have courage to request them not to fight. I didn't have courage to tell the pain I feel seeing their fight. Only thing I could do was pray for their happy union.
But that didn't work out. When I was 13 they divorced.
I am sure, almost all kids similarly love their parents. But these days, unfortunately, many parents divorce not knowing that families mostly created for kids.
According to the next statistics we can see how harmful it is to ruin the family:
• 63 percent of suicides nationwide are individuals from single-parent families.
• 75 percent of children in chemical dependency hospitals are from single-parent families.
• More than half of all youths incarcerated in the U.S. lived in one-parent families as a child.
That is why in Vedic culture there was no such understanding us "divorce". And that I could see even these days while I was living in India.
I know a woman who had 3 kids. Unfortunately, in the beginning years of her marriage husband got spoiled a lot. He started drinking, going out for other women, cheat his wife and even beat his wife in front of trembling kids. This was too much. But when I asked her how she tolerated all these sufferings and why she didn't leave him. Her reply was: "Where I will go with 3 kids? I am already a married woman. So what will society say about me if I leave my husband?"
So she tolerated and continued performing her duties for the sake of kids & society. Also praying to God for the welfare of her husband.
After many years he changed. Now he is a saintly man. He always remembers his faults and begs forgiveness from his wife.
Family life is not a bed of roses. Even if it is, it may have lots of thorns to pinch you here and there. Sometimes make your skin bleed; sometimes cause you severe infection problem.
Any person in this world is ideal. If your husband is drinking other woman's husband maybe beating her. Some woman's husband maybe not working, some woman's husband may not be chaste. So many difficulties and bad habits.
Saying this we cannot change our spouse from one to another. At least for the sake of your kids you should try to save your family.
We cannot overcome difficulties ourselves but God can make it happen for you!
Mom,  please don't go!
Love You so much so!
My dear dad please, love You too!
Be with mom, thought she's so dear to You!
Mom, please don't cry
Instead make my eyes from tears dry
You kiss, hug and tell You love me!
So that I smile like a happy simile.
 Mom is crying I feel pain, Dad
Please tightly hold her hand
She is my Mom, you are my Dad!
If you fight I'll suffer so bad.
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT to add comments!

Join ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT