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Romeo loved Juliet & she loved him so much, in this way they were perfect match...
This was a film going on on TV that day when my dad insisted me to come and join them in watching.
Both my elder sisters, father were eagerly watching the movie. But I rejected my father's proposal because I had my duties scheduled strictly.
I could not waste my time.
It was when I was 8 or 9. My dad was telling to other my sisters that this film is about a very nice girl like my youngest daughter but still I did not wanted to watch that. And never did till then...
Why I remembered this beautiful story? Where both boy and girl are perfectly in love with each other. Both of them are so equally beautiful; ... perfectly matched each other in understandings, values of life, desires...
But is it a real story? Is it possible to make such relationships in this material world? Maybe yes, because Romeo and Juliet both left this world - they could not stay together and live happily. So one of two things happens mostly in our lives:
1. We find someone who loves us and whom we love and we get united but by the arrangement of time we die. Or one of the partners die.
2. We get married to someone whom we do not like but who loves us.
I am sure not many will disagree with this point.
Especially in modern day in traditional families girls are married almost forcefully to boys whom they do not like. And for whole life they tolerate the other side or get divorced.
So what to do in order to have strong families? Who should like more? Girl or boy?
Who should approach? A girl or a boy?
Another thing is if one starts spiritual life especially boys are preached so nicely that they see all women as MAYA. In this way they accept brahmacharya. So will we have healthy family institution? Will we have happily married women and nice children born of them?
I am not sure if nice children will take birth if mother is not happy with her life.
As we know from the history Ambika and Ambalika was terrified seeing father of their future kids and in that mood were conceived unhealthy kids: Blind Dhritarashta and pale Pandu.
So again, who should like more? Boy or girl?
The strength of the family mostly depends on wife - woman. If she is happy then no one can separate that family. Even Yamaraj could not separate Savitri from her husband. So if woman likes her husband she will be enthusiastic to serve him whole life. She will be chaste for him if needed for many life times. That is the power of woman's devotion to her husband.
In whole Srimad Bhagavatam we read the stories of girls who got married to those whom they chose themselves. In swayamvaras or in some other situations:
Draupadi desired in the deep of her heart to get Arjuna as her husband - so she was married to him;
Kunti seeing Pandu desired to have him as her husband - she got;
Devayani fell in love with King Yayati, so was married to him;
Savitri chose her husband among many man;
Subhadra waited Arjuna to come and marry her, so he came;
Rukmini Devi as her own desire was kidnapped by Krishna;
Satyabhama Devi loved Krishna so was married to Him;
Devahuti heard of Kardama Muni's good qualities and beauty so desired to marry only him, so her father had to request Kardama Muni to accept her as his wife;
In this way it is very important that girl get married to someone who she likes.
Usually, we want to take shelter of someone who is greater than us. Who has something more than us; maybe more intelligence; beauty; knowledge; strength; education; spiritual qualities; ...
In this way boys also fell in love with girls but those girls may not like them. Because usually girl will respect someone who is greater than her.
Greater according to her values in life; if she is more spiritually inclined then she will search for spirituality in a man; if she is inclined towards material prestige, beauty then she will value those things in man.
So one side should compromise if we want to have nice families.
And that one side should be A MAN NOT A GIRL.
Because family is very important part of girl's life. It is not even part of her life - it is her life.
Where as for a man his life is his duties, his job, his prestige in the society.
Man may show desire to get married or even approach a girl but with no force. And girl if she likes may agree or disagree.
Where as one of perfect marriages would be that when girl chose a person and approaches him through her seniors like fathers, uncles etc.
And if boys are trained not only as brahmacharis for whom woman is Maya but as a nice Devotees with compassionate heart could accept a SUITABLE girl as a matter of duty.
Jayadeva Goswami was not in love with his future wife Padmavati. But she gave her heart to him because Lord Jagannath personally selected him as her husband. So Jayadeva Goswami accepted her hand...
Then maybe there would be stronger families with healthy kids as to say continuation of Rameo and Juliet according to Vedic principles. And of course families are almost future and base of the society.
Subject of how man should be to get a nice wife might be some of the future articles.
P.S. Please feel free to correct me or tell Your opinions!