Lecture on Srimad Bhagavatam 3.31.40 given in Sridham Mayapur on 7.01.2010
yopayäti çanair mäyä
yoñid deva-vinirmitä
täm ékñetätmano måtyuà
tåëaiù küpam ivävåtam
SYNONYMS
yä—she who; upayäti—approaches; çanaiù—slowly; mäyä—representation of mäyä;
yoñit—woman; deva—by the Lord; vinirmitä—created; täm—her; ékñeta—one must
regard; ätmanaù—of the soul; måtyum—death; tåëaiù—with grass; küpam—a well;
iva—like; ävåtam—covered.
TRANSLATION
The woman, created by the Lord, is the representation of mäyä, and one who
associates with such mäyä by accepting services must certainly know that
this is the way of death, just like a blind well covered with grass.
PURPORT
Sometimes it happens that a rejected well is covered by grass, and an unwary
traveler who does not know of the existence of the well falls down, and his
death is assured. Similarly, association with a woman begins when one
accepts service from her, because woman is especially created by the Lord to
give service to man. By accepting her service, a man is entrapped. If he is
not intelligent enough to know that she is the gateway to hellish life, he
may indulge in her association very liberally. This is restricted for those
who aspire to ascend to the transcendental platform. Even fifty years ago in
Hindu society, such association was restricted. A wife could not see her
husband during the daytime. Householders even had different residential
quarters. The internal quarters of a residential house were for the woman,
and the external quarters were for the man. Acceptance of service rendered
by a woman may appear very pleasing, but one should be very cautious in
accepting such service because it is clearly said that woman is the gateway
to death, or forgetfulness of one's self. She blocks the path of spiritual
realization.
Jayadvaita Swami: Yopayäti means “she”, the woman described in the previous
verse, the attractive woman who is described as “pramadha”, “pramadha” means
one who is creating craziness. One who drives a man mad. Beautiful women,
attractive woman. Sanair, she approaches slowly. Sanair means slowly. It’s
not that she sees you, she throws her arms around you and she says, “let’s
have an affair, and then you can marry me and work for the rest of your
life”. Slowly, slowly. Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura says, “first she
pretends she is not interested”. According to an authoritative book on body
language there is one device: you are not looking at her but while you are
not looking at her she looks at you and keeps looking at you, and keeps
looking at you until you get the creping feeling that someone is looking at
you. Then, because you get this feeling that she is looking at you, you turn
toward her. And that’s when she turns away. And it is done with a certain
gesture – what are you looking at me for??! And that of course creates
further interest. Now, that she has turned away, he is totally confused,
this is what is called in the hypnosis the “confusion technique”. Now he is
confused, was she looking at me, or was she not looking at me? I thought she
was looking at me but now I was looking at her. He is completely bewildered
and he does not know what’s going on except that his mind is drown in
thinking about the women – was she looking at me, or was she not looking at
me? Was I looking at her?
So sanair, slowly the woman attracts the man. One of our ISKCON teachers of
young ladies confided with me that at a certain age the girls discover that
if they move in certain way, dress in certain way, they can melt the guy
down. And that power becomes a kind of fascination for the girl, she has to
use it.
So women all over the world would act in a way that’s attractive, it’s just
their nature. They are constructed by the world’s great expert, the Supreme
Personality of Godhead. He says, “mama maya durataya”, my illusory energy is
practically unsurpassable because I did really god job in constructing it.
Particularly in the form of woman. Some place in the second canto, I think,
it is said that Lord Brahma after creating so many things saw that the
material energy was not sufficiently manifest, and therefore he created the
form of the woman to finish the job.
So the woman is naturally made in such a way that she will be attractive to
man and she will act in a way that will be attractive to man. Even if she is
chaste and she is shy, that will be attractive to man. How chaste and shy
that girl is! That will be attractive. Women are by nature attractive
because Krsna made them in that way.
So sanair maya, maya means that what it’s not what you think it is. Yopayäti
çanair mäyä yoñid deva-vinirmitä. The woman who slowly attracts one tam
ikseta, one should see in this way – ätmano måtyum, as death.
And not just an ordinary death but ätmano måtyum, death for the soul. Death
of this body, that’s inevitable. For one who is born death is certain. But
this is ätmano måtyum, death for the soul. The killer of the soul is
mentioned in Isopanisad. How does one kill the soul? The soul is described
as eternal, everlasting. So how do you kill the soul? You kill the soul by
identifying it with material energy. You kill spirit by identifying with
matter. Soul is sat cid ananda but matter is temporary. Matter is a source
of misery and covers knowledge. So when the soul is identifying with matter
then it is practically killing himself. Or if you get the soul to identify
with matter you are killing the soul.
And how is the soul identifying with matter? By association, attraction
between man and woman.
puàsaù striyä mithuné-bhävam etaà
tayor mitho hådaya-granthim ähuù
ato gåha-kñetra-sutäpta-vittair
janasya moho 'yam ahaà mameti
The attraction between male and female is the basic principle of material
existence. On the basis of this misconception, which ties together the
hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home,
property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life's
illusions and thinks in terms of "I and mine." (Bhagavatam 5.5.8)
Therefore in the “Transcendental teachings of Prahlad Maharaja” Prabhupada
says that maya begins when you see a girl and you think – she is nice. Sex
attraction. This sex attraction is the cause, or the binding force of this
material existence. And therefore Lord Kapiladev is advising, see with this
vision, when you see an attractive girl slowly coming forward to offer
service, see your own death approaching you, your spiritual death. Ikseta,
one should see in that way – maya is approaching me, trying to kill my
spiritual life.
“Tåëaiù küpam ivävåtam”, the attractive woman is described as a blind well.
A blind well is a well that is out there in the field and is covered with
grass. An ordinary well is dangerous, you might fall into the well, but a
blind well is super dangerous because you don’t know it is there. You think
that’s just ground but actually it’s a well. And real wells are deep. And if
it’s out in the field and you fell into it no one knows you fell in the
well. They go looking for you hours late and you are gone by then. You cry
for help but nobody is hearing you and you are lost. So this is the blind
well, the unsuspecting person falls there, there is only grass, there is
nothing substantial there, just little bit of grass.
So Lord Kapiladev very graphically and strongly says that this is what you
are thinking you are going to enjoy. You are naive, you are fool. You are
fool, you are naive, you think, here is something for my enjoyment. You
don’t know what’s there. Here is it what is really there. You are totally in
maya, you are thinking there is ground there, but it is a well. Just like
Duryodhana became bewildered when he went to the palace of the Pandavas and
he mistook the water for the land. So Kapiladev says you are naive, you
think here is nice, attractive girl who is coming to do some service to me,
how nice. And you don’t see that it is your spiritual death that is
approaching you.
Prabhupada explains, it is through service, this is a particular danger that
the woman is made in such a way as to serve. And when she comes forward to
do a little innocent service, the man becomes attracted but now there is a
death. When there is a service offered or service rendered there is a debt
incurred. I will do something for you, but now you feel, or I will make you
feel, although you should not feel, that now you have to do something for
me. Human relationships are full of this. There is a service account; I have
done that much service for you and now you have a debt, you owe me a favor.
I have done something for you, so it is understood, though might not be
written down, that you should do something for me. The more favors I have
done for you the more favors you owe me. And that’s how it works in
politics, in friendship. Anyone who receives service owes a debt to the
person who rendered the service. That’s natural and that’s what makes human
relationships.
So here the woman comes sanair sanair, slowly, slowly. Just to offer a
little service. And the man thinks well, that’s nice. But he does not put
into account that by offering the service she is offering you the
opportunity to become indebted to her. Just like the banks, they offer you
credit cards, preauthorized, because by taking advantage of their service
you become indebted to the point where eventually they take over your house,
they take over your life. And it all started with a free offer of a
preapproved credit card.
So the man unsuspectingly accepts the service. And now there is a debt, now
he feels she did something for me. If it is slow and subtle enough he
thinks, this is a nice girls, she did some nice service for me. He may not
even think about it, but it’s there, in his consciousness. Amongst so many
girls, she is a nice girl because she did some service. And now he feels
that he wants to reciprocate, or that he owes to reciprocate, in some small
way. And now that he reciprocates in a small way she also reciprocates in a
small but slightly bigger way. And then he reciprocates and she reciprocates
and it builds on like that, gradually increasing the size and velocity until
the relationship becomes active, or should we say, manifestly active.
So one should be very careful about that. Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura
sais:
“Knowing the man’s detachment the women shows her lack of desire and
approaches him with the guise of service. She then becomes a source of
trouble. The well is thinking: let the man fall into me. Therefore no one
should go near that blind well.”
If you know that out in the field there is a blind well you stay away from
the whole field. You stay away from the whole area.
“No one should go near that blind well, whether one is completely
indifferent, having bhakti, jnana or vairagya, whether one is unconscious
because of eating or sleeping, or even death. One should avoid women
completely.”
This is the implication of the blind well. One should be so careful. Even in
married life, Prabhupada mentions, that one should not liberally associate
even with one’s wife, so that life becomes only about you and your wife.
This is one of the advantages of the join family system when several
brothers are living together with their wives, 2-3 generations together. You
get parallel societies – one male and one female, so that the men associate
with men and the women with women. And it is not just about two people
living in constant juncture, dealing all the time with their minds, their
desires, counter desires, in relationship which is bewildering and
entangling. It’s restricted. The men had their section, the women had their
section. And they did not spend all their time in association with one
another, the family did not mean husband and wife and children, it meant a
larger circle of people so that it was not just about the man and the woman.
So therefore the association between men and women in the Vedic system is
restricted. Brahmacaty – no association, sannyasi – no association,
vanaprastha – no sex, and grihasta life – restricted association. Not
unlimited sex, not even unlimited association. Limited association. Because
this association is such a cause of bewilderment. Prahlada Maharaja also
uses the same example, the blind well which is killing one’s spiritual life.
One should be very careful about this.
I had practical experience. The first book that I edited was 3 canto of
Srimad Bhagavatam. So before the book was published I had the opportunity to
read the 3 canto and especially the instructions of Kapiladev. So I was
little informed. While I was working at ISKCON press doing typing and
editorial work, there was one, at that time young lady, who was also
sometimes working at the press and sometimes doing pujari work at the New
York temple. And every day she came in the afternoon, she would have come
from doing the four o’clock offering to the deities and she would bring me
little cup of fruit, every day. Krsna prasädam, Krsna’s mercy.
Devotees: Ha-ha!!
Jayadvaita Swami: But because I was prepared from Lord Kapiladev, I
graciously accepted that cup of fruit every day and gave it all away to the
devotees and never touched it. Because if I have accepted it that meant
accepting service. And accepting service means accepting indebtedness.
This is a practical, high-magnitude problem in our society, that sannyasis
accept service from women, especially young women and they become indebted.
There was one GBC man who wrote a letter to Srila Prabhupada concerned about
some advanced ladies who were proposed to serve the sannyasis. And
Prabhupada said no. Prabhupada said, “it is not possible, Sannyasis may have
no connection with women.” The sannyasis become leaders of the society or
they become Gurus and then service is offered. We make spiritual advancement
by serving the sannyasis or senior devotees, temple presidents, or Gurus.
But one should be very careful when the service is offered by a woman
because one becomes indebted.
And this is not theoretical; we have lost a lot of men. By this slow
process, sanair sanair, it starts with little service, then little more
service, then it becomes gratitude, then it becomes reciprocation,
appreciation, then dependence, or feeling that if she is not there, why she
is not there, if she is not serving me, why is she not serving me, and it
grows and it grows and it becomes a disaster.
What intelligent person would say yes, I want to work hard my whole life so
that we may buy curtainsiand everything else. What person, seeing all the
troubles that result of association of man and woman, would want to do that.
What intelligent person who have done it once and burned himself, would want
to do it again, and a third time?! This is called maya. As far as possible
one should avoid this maya completely. If one can, one should avoid it
completely. If one is serious about crossing the ocean of material existence
one should be very careful about association with women and with men who are
too attached to women, because they are contaminated. If we associate with
such men we will catch their disease.
So Lord Kapila is very strong here, there is an empathic order for those who
are serious about spiritual life and we should not minimize the value of His
instructions. We should avoid this tendency to mingle, men and women
“innocently” mingle, that should be cut down as far as possible. That
association should be restricted. It should be as little as possible. And
one should associate with Krsna by serving Krsna and by chanting the Holly
Name of Krsna, being always engaged in Krsna’s service.
Suresvara Prabhu: Maharaja, since elsewhere in Prabhupada’s books it is said
that the men form is also a form of maya for the women. A woman may think,
where are the warnings for us? The men are being warned about us but where
are the warnings for us about the men?
Jayadvaita Swami: Because men and women are different, the warning for the
women is: “One man”. For women to be without the association of a man would
be more difficult because the woman is weaker and requires security and
support. Men don’t require anyone to support them. They can go independent.
But women are designed in such a way that security is very important to
them, protection is required for them, and that means a man. The father in
childhood, the son in old age, and in youth - a qualified husband. So the
Vedic literature, being very pragmatic and realistic, does not instruct
women, “stay away from men”. It says instead, “be married to one and then
stay away from the rest”. Women are advised to be chaste and that chastity
is a form of protection for them also. A woman who is unchaste unnecessary
attracts the attention of any man on the block and all sorts of trouble
comes. So as the man is advised to avoid the association of women, the women
are advised to be chaste and also avoid the association of men. I was just
reading, when Krsna entered Dvaraka the women went up to the roof tops to
see Him. They did not go down to the street to elbow out the men and mix.
That means they maintained their dignity and chastity.
Women are attractive. This arouses the attention and aggressiveness of the
men. Therefore in the modern way of life women dress super attractively and
act super friendly and so on and it works against them. They are thinking we
are free, we are equal, but what is that actually, they are setting
themselves up to become victimized. The men become more attracted and more
aggressive and then they file a complaint that this man sexually harassed
me. But in their unrestricted position they become eligible to be
victimized. I go to the Middle East every year and I see that the Muslim
ladies always travel 2-3 on the street. They are covered and they maintain
their dignity. And the western women come there also with their clothes and
they basically announce to the world that “I am a prostitute and if you have
the right amount of money I am available”. No dignity. And they are simply
used. And they don’t become happy by being used; they go for therapy, for
abortion, for this, for that, that’s not happiness. And in the same time USA
is making propaganda how the women in the Middle East are being oppressed.
There may be some examples of oppression, but the basic principles are
nondifferent from the Vedic principles, that the dignity of the women should
be maintained. They themselves should maintain it and the men who are
responsible for them should also take care of this.
Suresvara Prabhu: But it seems that if the men take these instructions of
Kapiladev seriously there will be no men to protect the womeni
Jayadvaita Swami: Everything will be over. If everyone takes this advice
there will be no more marriage, there will be no more sex and no more
humans, human civilization. But that’s not going to happen.
Question: What should be our attitude when we see temple presidents and
sannyasis accepting service from women?
Jayadvaita Swami: Well, your attitude might be - better them than me.
Devotees: Ha-ha-ha!!
Jayadvaita Swami: Those who are looking for spiritual master, for spiritual
guidance, you might note it. You might note it that I like this person, he
gives nice instructions, but he accepts a lot of service from women. You
might take note of that. And you will not be unreasonable or foolish to take
note of that. Before accepting a Guru one should observe him for one year,
right? What do you observe? How he is dressing? One thing you should observe
is is this person intimately associating with women. Is he accepting service
from women, if he does, under what conditions, under which circumstances, to
what extent? Some sannyasi he has got number one of his followers is a
female, and a female is doing his laundry, and is his secretaryi You might
wonder and you might be justified. And if it really looks bad you might be
justified to go to one of his friends and tell him I am concerned about this
person. He is such an important person, responsible person, and looks like
he is too close to Krsna dasi. You might be even concern to the point of
raising the alarm which might be very kind think to do. What you should not
do is to get to your computer and start typing messages on internet. Unless
you really want to be uncultured person who does not know how to act, what
to do and what not to do.
We see that even advanced people sometime accept service but with great
care. Srila Prabhupada accepted service from ladies but he was very careful
about it.
Questioni
Jayadvaita Swami: First thing is she is attractive. May be she is chaste.
But she is attractive. She is not lusty, she is not doing anything. She is
just attractive. That’s already a problem. That’s what Kapiladev is saying,
he does not say that the lusty woman is a problem; He says that the
attractive woman is a problem. For someone who is trying to get out of the
material energy, it’s not anything wrong with her, it’s him! He has a mind
and the mind is attracted to that beautiful woman, that’s a problem. It’s
not that she is evil, lusty, unchaste, acting improperly, it’s just that she
is attractive, that’s the problem.
Question: I appreciate the class but it seems that our movement is going
through phases were we have conservatives and liberals. So in some areas of
the world this kind of thinking is seen as backwardsi
Jayadvaita Swami: So you think that Lord Kapiladev is backwards? What does
this says about your thinking?
Question: That may be correct but I just saying, in some areas of the worldi
Jayadvaita Swami: But if they think there that Lord Kapiladeva is backwards,
that area must be very much backwardsi
Question: But these people say that since our movement is growing we have to
become more liberal in order to attract new more people.
Jayadvaita Swami: How many sannyasis we have lost because they were too
strict in their dealings with women? Let be real open-doubted – name one.
Name one sannyasi who has fallen down because he was overly restrictive in
association with women. And if you wanted to go the other way, because we
will go the other way, name those who have fallen down because they were
careless. We will be up in the 30, 40, and 50 in about 10 minutes. Within 5
minutes. Right? So where is the problem then? Is the problem that we are too
tight in association with women, we are avoiding them too much, we are not
mixing enough with them, we are not free and liberal enough, is that why we
have lost so many valuable men? Is that why many areas in the world have
seen their book distribution going down from here to there? Because people
were too restrictive about association with women? Or is it the other way?
Candramauli Swami: Is it true that if you accept service from anyone and if
you don’t give it back then you have to take birth again?
Jayadvaita Swami: I never read statement like this but service creates debt,
no doubt. If you accept a service from anyone it creates debt. But if you
are Krsna conschious all debts are paid. And if you keep the service that
someone rendered to you for yourself not redirecting it to Krsna then you
create debt for yourself. Because our job is to redirect all service we
receive back to Krsna and we are not supposed to keep it for ourselves.
Question: The message of Lord Kapila is strong and transcendental, how the
women can use it for their benefit?
Jayadvaita Swami: They can reverse the information and understand that the
material attachment to a man is also a source of trouble. Ultimately men and
women have to be attracted to Krsna.
We have to understand what the material illusion really is, what sex life
really is, and then only we can understand what is Radha-Krsna.
Question: This verse is so discouraging for us, women; how to overcome this
material platform of low birth and to think of ourselves as spirit souls?
Jayadvaita Swami: Women should not think I am a woman, she should think I am
a servant of Krsna. This warning is given to men, it is not given to women
so that they start thinking I am terrible, incompetent to serve Krsna,
everyone should think I am a spirit soul, a servant of Krsna. But women
should know that they can serve their society, community, family, by
chastity. Women should know that this modern society is not good for them.
Materialistic society encourages this, you are expressing yourself, you are
expressing your femininity, your womanhood. We have different culture where
women become exalted by self restrain, by dignity, in that way they help the
men in the society and they help themselves. There is an article in a
feminist Indian magazine called “Restrain as a feminine strategy” which is
available on internet. And although we might not agree with everything the
author says, she has pointed out that by sexual restrain women get power.
Women should know that by self restrain they get a position of power. And
the lady who wrote the article gives examples about the life in a community
or in the family where women opted for self restrain and how they obtained a
position of power. And you can think of Sita, how empowered she was that
armies were mobilized for her. Chastity has power, it is a power position.
And women don’t want to be powerless; women want to be empowered. By sexual
looseness one disempoweres himself whether you are a man or you are a woman.
So if you want to be powerful, like the question, o, I don’t want to be
discouraged, no, take it as opportunity to become powerful. How do you
become powerful? By serving the Supreme Powerful. Krsna says everybody is
eligible for devotional service, it is not only the men, everybody. Take it
as a power position.
Question: If I was a young lady interested in Krsna conschiousness and I
came across to this verse as my introduction to Krsna conschiousness that
would not be nice, I could only hope to take birth as a man. How would you
present this verse to a newcomer, a female?
Jayadvaita Swami: Well, I just did. This might not be our introductory verse
when we go out to preach, but everyone should understand the basic
principles that we are not this body, that we are spirit soul, so if someone
is discouraged that you are talking about me in this way, but no, I am not
talking about you, I am talking about someone’s body. The first point is
that you are not this body, man or a woman. I have to act in certain manner
because my body is there, I have to take it into account, but I don’t think
I am this body. And what it is said for the body does not pertain to me, I
am spirit soul, part and parcel of Krsna, what’s this have to do with me? So
I am not a man, I am not a woman. And if the newcomer stays long enough
around she will find out that actually the woman is more empowered first, on
the platform of chastity, and second on the platform of Krsna consciousness.
Women who are chaste are more powerful than those who are not chaste. A
revolutionary concept for the West.
But even modern women who are not Krsna conscious, who are not Christian,
who are not religious, this is another article, that in the best colleges of
USA there are societies of women who want to be chaste. Because they see it
as a power position. As a feminist platform. Not as a religious platform,
not as a traditional platform, as a feminist platform. We are sick and tired
of being exploited, and we are exploited because we are loose. And these
guys want us to be loose so that they can victimize us. And we are sick and
tired of it, we are going chaste. These are women who are not religious, who
do not belong to a Muslim or Hindu culture, who are just smart. So for the
women chastity is the power platform and the best chastity is Krsna
consciousness, so if you are a woman and you want to be empowered, chant
Hare Krsna.
Devotees: Jaya! Haribol!
Question: Prabhupada advised the devotees to see women as mothers and as
mothers, can we serve Vaisnava men?
Jayadvaita Swami: The example is Sacidevi, the mother of Caintanya
Mahaprabhu. When He took sannyasa she was grief-stricken, that now my Nimai
will leave. But she thought that, for my own happiness I would like to keep
you here, but I can’t do that because I have to consider your happiness,
your purpose in life. So she said you please stay in Puri. She did not say
you please stay at home. So that means she considered what is the best for
the spiritual advancement of her son. So if the mothers of the sannyasis and
the brahmacharis think in this way, what would be the best for the spiritual
advancement of my son, that will be good.
Question: On what stage in Krsna consciousness one can become free from the
perverted love?
Jayadvaita Swami: On the stage of Krsna prema. Then one is immuned against
the influence of the perverted love. Like Haridas Thakur, when the
prostitute came, after same time she just fell on the ground because nothing
worked. Because he was situated on the platform of perfection. Everyone who
is situated on a lower platform should be careful. And even those who are
situated on that platform are careful, to set a good example for others. We
have the example of Srila Prabhupada who chastised his servant for allowing
him to be alone with his 70 years old sister. Prabhupada was that careful.
“Why did you leave me alone with that woman??” That very old sister of his.
“Why did you allow me to be alone with that woman”? That’s how careful Srila
Prabhupada was; and we are not on the level of Srila Prabhupada, so how
careful should we be if we are serious about spiritual life and going back
to Godhead.
All right, thank you very much. All glories to Srila Prbhupada.
Devotees: Haribol! His Holiness Jayadvaita Swami Maharaja ki-Jaya!
Posted by August Assembly at 5:15 PM
Reactions:
4 comments:
Anonymous said...
“Women are worthy of worship. They are the fate of the household, the
lamp of enlightenment for all in the household. They bring solace to the
family and are an integral part of dharmic life. Even heaven is under the
control of women. The gods reside in those households where women are
worshipped and in households where women are slighted all efforts at
improvement go in vain.” Manusmriti 3-56
January 19, 2010 2:37 PM
Anonymous said...
Bhishma Pitamaha also said: “The teacher who teaches true knowledge is
more important than ten instructors. The father is more important than ten
such teachers of true knowledge and the mother is more important than ten
such fathers. There is no greater guru than mother.” Mahabharata,
Shantiparva, Chapter 30, sloka 9.
January 19, 2010 2:39 PM
(Text D:2222523) -------------------------------------------
yopayäti çanair mäyä
yoñid deva-vinirmitä
täm ékñetätmano måtyuà
tåëaiù küpam ivävåtam
SYNONYMS
yä—she who; upayäti—approaches; çanaiù—slowly; mäyä—representation of mäyä;
yoñit—woman; deva—by the Lord; vinirmitä—created; täm—her; ékñeta—one must
regard; ätmanaù—of the soul; måtyum—death; tåëaiù—with grass; küpam—a well;
iva—like; ävåtam—covered.
TRANSLATION
The woman, created by the Lord, is the representation of mäyä, and one who
associates with such mäyä by accepting services must certainly know that
this is the way of death, just like a blind well covered with grass.
PURPORT
Sometimes it happens that a rejected well is covered by grass, and an unwary
traveler who does not know of the existence of the well falls down, and his
death is assured. Similarly, association with a woman begins when one
accepts service from her, because woman is especially created by the Lord to
give service to man. By accepting her service, a man is entrapped. If he is
not intelligent enough to know that she is the gateway to hellish life, he
may indulge in her association very liberally. This is restricted for those
who aspire to ascend to the transcendental platform. Even fifty years ago in
Hindu society, such association was restricted. A wife could not see her
husband during the daytime. Householders even had different residential
quarters. The internal quarters of a residential house were for the woman,
and the external quarters were for the man. Acceptance of service rendered
by a woman may appear very pleasing, but one should be very cautious in
accepting such service because it is clearly said that woman is the gateway
to death, or forgetfulness of one's self. She blocks the path of spiritual
realization.
Jayadvaita Swami: Yopayäti means “she”, the woman described in the previous
verse, the attractive woman who is described as “pramadha”, “pramadha” means
one who is creating craziness. One who drives a man mad. Beautiful women,
attractive woman. Sanair, she approaches slowly. Sanair means slowly. It’s
not that she sees you, she throws her arms around you and she says, “let’s
have an affair, and then you can marry me and work for the rest of your
life”. Slowly, slowly. Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura says, “first she
pretends she is not interested”. According to an authoritative book on body
language there is one device: you are not looking at her but while you are
not looking at her she looks at you and keeps looking at you, and keeps
looking at you until you get the creping feeling that someone is looking at
you. Then, because you get this feeling that she is looking at you, you turn
toward her. And that’s when she turns away. And it is done with a certain
gesture – what are you looking at me for??! And that of course creates
further interest. Now, that she has turned away, he is totally confused,
this is what is called in the hypnosis the “confusion technique”. Now he is
confused, was she looking at me, or was she not looking at me? I thought she
was looking at me but now I was looking at her. He is completely bewildered
and he does not know what’s going on except that his mind is drown in
thinking about the women – was she looking at me, or was she not looking at
me? Was I looking at her?
So sanair, slowly the woman attracts the man. One of our ISKCON teachers of
young ladies confided with me that at a certain age the girls discover that
if they move in certain way, dress in certain way, they can melt the guy
down. And that power becomes a kind of fascination for the girl, she has to
use it.
So women all over the world would act in a way that’s attractive, it’s just
their nature. They are constructed by the world’s great expert, the Supreme
Personality of Godhead. He says, “mama maya durataya”, my illusory energy is
practically unsurpassable because I did really god job in constructing it.
Particularly in the form of woman. Some place in the second canto, I think,
it is said that Lord Brahma after creating so many things saw that the
material energy was not sufficiently manifest, and therefore he created the
form of the woman to finish the job.
So the woman is naturally made in such a way that she will be attractive to
man and she will act in a way that will be attractive to man. Even if she is
chaste and she is shy, that will be attractive to man. How chaste and shy
that girl is! That will be attractive. Women are by nature attractive
because Krsna made them in that way.
So sanair maya, maya means that what it’s not what you think it is. Yopayäti
çanair mäyä yoñid deva-vinirmitä. The woman who slowly attracts one tam
ikseta, one should see in this way – ätmano måtyum, as death.
And not just an ordinary death but ätmano måtyum, death for the soul. Death
of this body, that’s inevitable. For one who is born death is certain. But
this is ätmano måtyum, death for the soul. The killer of the soul is
mentioned in Isopanisad. How does one kill the soul? The soul is described
as eternal, everlasting. So how do you kill the soul? You kill the soul by
identifying it with material energy. You kill spirit by identifying with
matter. Soul is sat cid ananda but matter is temporary. Matter is a source
of misery and covers knowledge. So when the soul is identifying with matter
then it is practically killing himself. Or if you get the soul to identify
with matter you are killing the soul.
And how is the soul identifying with matter? By association, attraction
between man and woman.
puàsaù striyä mithuné-bhävam etaà
tayor mitho hådaya-granthim ähuù
ato gåha-kñetra-sutäpta-vittair
janasya moho 'yam ahaà mameti
The attraction between male and female is the basic principle of material
existence. On the basis of this misconception, which ties together the
hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home,
property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life's
illusions and thinks in terms of "I and mine." (Bhagavatam 5.5.8)
Therefore in the “Transcendental teachings of Prahlad Maharaja” Prabhupada
says that maya begins when you see a girl and you think – she is nice. Sex
attraction. This sex attraction is the cause, or the binding force of this
material existence. And therefore Lord Kapiladev is advising, see with this
vision, when you see an attractive girl slowly coming forward to offer
service, see your own death approaching you, your spiritual death. Ikseta,
one should see in that way – maya is approaching me, trying to kill my
spiritual life.
“Tåëaiù küpam ivävåtam”, the attractive woman is described as a blind well.
A blind well is a well that is out there in the field and is covered with
grass. An ordinary well is dangerous, you might fall into the well, but a
blind well is super dangerous because you don’t know it is there. You think
that’s just ground but actually it’s a well. And real wells are deep. And if
it’s out in the field and you fell into it no one knows you fell in the
well. They go looking for you hours late and you are gone by then. You cry
for help but nobody is hearing you and you are lost. So this is the blind
well, the unsuspecting person falls there, there is only grass, there is
nothing substantial there, just little bit of grass.
So Lord Kapiladev very graphically and strongly says that this is what you
are thinking you are going to enjoy. You are naive, you are fool. You are
fool, you are naive, you think, here is something for my enjoyment. You
don’t know what’s there. Here is it what is really there. You are totally in
maya, you are thinking there is ground there, but it is a well. Just like
Duryodhana became bewildered when he went to the palace of the Pandavas and
he mistook the water for the land. So Kapiladev says you are naive, you
think here is nice, attractive girl who is coming to do some service to me,
how nice. And you don’t see that it is your spiritual death that is
approaching you.
Prabhupada explains, it is through service, this is a particular danger that
the woman is made in such a way as to serve. And when she comes forward to
do a little innocent service, the man becomes attracted but now there is a
death. When there is a service offered or service rendered there is a debt
incurred. I will do something for you, but now you feel, or I will make you
feel, although you should not feel, that now you have to do something for
me. Human relationships are full of this. There is a service account; I have
done that much service for you and now you have a debt, you owe me a favor.
I have done something for you, so it is understood, though might not be
written down, that you should do something for me. The more favors I have
done for you the more favors you owe me. And that’s how it works in
politics, in friendship. Anyone who receives service owes a debt to the
person who rendered the service. That’s natural and that’s what makes human
relationships.
So here the woman comes sanair sanair, slowly, slowly. Just to offer a
little service. And the man thinks well, that’s nice. But he does not put
into account that by offering the service she is offering you the
opportunity to become indebted to her. Just like the banks, they offer you
credit cards, preauthorized, because by taking advantage of their service
you become indebted to the point where eventually they take over your house,
they take over your life. And it all started with a free offer of a
preapproved credit card.
So the man unsuspectingly accepts the service. And now there is a debt, now
he feels she did something for me. If it is slow and subtle enough he
thinks, this is a nice girls, she did some nice service for me. He may not
even think about it, but it’s there, in his consciousness. Amongst so many
girls, she is a nice girl because she did some service. And now he feels
that he wants to reciprocate, or that he owes to reciprocate, in some small
way. And now that he reciprocates in a small way she also reciprocates in a
small but slightly bigger way. And then he reciprocates and she reciprocates
and it builds on like that, gradually increasing the size and velocity until
the relationship becomes active, or should we say, manifestly active.
So one should be very careful about that. Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura
sais:
“Knowing the man’s detachment the women shows her lack of desire and
approaches him with the guise of service. She then becomes a source of
trouble. The well is thinking: let the man fall into me. Therefore no one
should go near that blind well.”
If you know that out in the field there is a blind well you stay away from
the whole field. You stay away from the whole area.
“No one should go near that blind well, whether one is completely
indifferent, having bhakti, jnana or vairagya, whether one is unconscious
because of eating or sleeping, or even death. One should avoid women
completely.”
This is the implication of the blind well. One should be so careful. Even in
married life, Prabhupada mentions, that one should not liberally associate
even with one’s wife, so that life becomes only about you and your wife.
This is one of the advantages of the join family system when several
brothers are living together with their wives, 2-3 generations together. You
get parallel societies – one male and one female, so that the men associate
with men and the women with women. And it is not just about two people
living in constant juncture, dealing all the time with their minds, their
desires, counter desires, in relationship which is bewildering and
entangling. It’s restricted. The men had their section, the women had their
section. And they did not spend all their time in association with one
another, the family did not mean husband and wife and children, it meant a
larger circle of people so that it was not just about the man and the woman.
So therefore the association between men and women in the Vedic system is
restricted. Brahmacaty – no association, sannyasi – no association,
vanaprastha – no sex, and grihasta life – restricted association. Not
unlimited sex, not even unlimited association. Limited association. Because
this association is such a cause of bewilderment. Prahlada Maharaja also
uses the same example, the blind well which is killing one’s spiritual life.
One should be very careful about this.
I had practical experience. The first book that I edited was 3 canto of
Srimad Bhagavatam. So before the book was published I had the opportunity to
read the 3 canto and especially the instructions of Kapiladev. So I was
little informed. While I was working at ISKCON press doing typing and
editorial work, there was one, at that time young lady, who was also
sometimes working at the press and sometimes doing pujari work at the New
York temple. And every day she came in the afternoon, she would have come
from doing the four o’clock offering to the deities and she would bring me
little cup of fruit, every day. Krsna prasädam, Krsna’s mercy.
Devotees: Ha-ha!!
Jayadvaita Swami: But because I was prepared from Lord Kapiladev, I
graciously accepted that cup of fruit every day and gave it all away to the
devotees and never touched it. Because if I have accepted it that meant
accepting service. And accepting service means accepting indebtedness.
This is a practical, high-magnitude problem in our society, that sannyasis
accept service from women, especially young women and they become indebted.
There was one GBC man who wrote a letter to Srila Prabhupada concerned about
some advanced ladies who were proposed to serve the sannyasis. And
Prabhupada said no. Prabhupada said, “it is not possible, Sannyasis may have
no connection with women.” The sannyasis become leaders of the society or
they become Gurus and then service is offered. We make spiritual advancement
by serving the sannyasis or senior devotees, temple presidents, or Gurus.
But one should be very careful when the service is offered by a woman
because one becomes indebted.
And this is not theoretical; we have lost a lot of men. By this slow
process, sanair sanair, it starts with little service, then little more
service, then it becomes gratitude, then it becomes reciprocation,
appreciation, then dependence, or feeling that if she is not there, why she
is not there, if she is not serving me, why is she not serving me, and it
grows and it grows and it becomes a disaster.
What intelligent person would say yes, I want to work hard my whole life so
that we may buy curtainsiand everything else. What person, seeing all the
troubles that result of association of man and woman, would want to do that.
What intelligent person who have done it once and burned himself, would want
to do it again, and a third time?! This is called maya. As far as possible
one should avoid this maya completely. If one can, one should avoid it
completely. If one is serious about crossing the ocean of material existence
one should be very careful about association with women and with men who are
too attached to women, because they are contaminated. If we associate with
such men we will catch their disease.
So Lord Kapila is very strong here, there is an empathic order for those who
are serious about spiritual life and we should not minimize the value of His
instructions. We should avoid this tendency to mingle, men and women
“innocently” mingle, that should be cut down as far as possible. That
association should be restricted. It should be as little as possible. And
one should associate with Krsna by serving Krsna and by chanting the Holly
Name of Krsna, being always engaged in Krsna’s service.
Suresvara Prabhu: Maharaja, since elsewhere in Prabhupada’s books it is said
that the men form is also a form of maya for the women. A woman may think,
where are the warnings for us? The men are being warned about us but where
are the warnings for us about the men?
Jayadvaita Swami: Because men and women are different, the warning for the
women is: “One man”. For women to be without the association of a man would
be more difficult because the woman is weaker and requires security and
support. Men don’t require anyone to support them. They can go independent.
But women are designed in such a way that security is very important to
them, protection is required for them, and that means a man. The father in
childhood, the son in old age, and in youth - a qualified husband. So the
Vedic literature, being very pragmatic and realistic, does not instruct
women, “stay away from men”. It says instead, “be married to one and then
stay away from the rest”. Women are advised to be chaste and that chastity
is a form of protection for them also. A woman who is unchaste unnecessary
attracts the attention of any man on the block and all sorts of trouble
comes. So as the man is advised to avoid the association of women, the women
are advised to be chaste and also avoid the association of men. I was just
reading, when Krsna entered Dvaraka the women went up to the roof tops to
see Him. They did not go down to the street to elbow out the men and mix.
That means they maintained their dignity and chastity.
Women are attractive. This arouses the attention and aggressiveness of the
men. Therefore in the modern way of life women dress super attractively and
act super friendly and so on and it works against them. They are thinking we
are free, we are equal, but what is that actually, they are setting
themselves up to become victimized. The men become more attracted and more
aggressive and then they file a complaint that this man sexually harassed
me. But in their unrestricted position they become eligible to be
victimized. I go to the Middle East every year and I see that the Muslim
ladies always travel 2-3 on the street. They are covered and they maintain
their dignity. And the western women come there also with their clothes and
they basically announce to the world that “I am a prostitute and if you have
the right amount of money I am available”. No dignity. And they are simply
used. And they don’t become happy by being used; they go for therapy, for
abortion, for this, for that, that’s not happiness. And in the same time USA
is making propaganda how the women in the Middle East are being oppressed.
There may be some examples of oppression, but the basic principles are
nondifferent from the Vedic principles, that the dignity of the women should
be maintained. They themselves should maintain it and the men who are
responsible for them should also take care of this.
Suresvara Prabhu: But it seems that if the men take these instructions of
Kapiladev seriously there will be no men to protect the womeni
Jayadvaita Swami: Everything will be over. If everyone takes this advice
there will be no more marriage, there will be no more sex and no more
humans, human civilization. But that’s not going to happen.
Question: What should be our attitude when we see temple presidents and
sannyasis accepting service from women?
Jayadvaita Swami: Well, your attitude might be - better them than me.
Devotees: Ha-ha-ha!!
Jayadvaita Swami: Those who are looking for spiritual master, for spiritual
guidance, you might note it. You might note it that I like this person, he
gives nice instructions, but he accepts a lot of service from women. You
might take note of that. And you will not be unreasonable or foolish to take
note of that. Before accepting a Guru one should observe him for one year,
right? What do you observe? How he is dressing? One thing you should observe
is is this person intimately associating with women. Is he accepting service
from women, if he does, under what conditions, under which circumstances, to
what extent? Some sannyasi he has got number one of his followers is a
female, and a female is doing his laundry, and is his secretaryi You might
wonder and you might be justified. And if it really looks bad you might be
justified to go to one of his friends and tell him I am concerned about this
person. He is such an important person, responsible person, and looks like
he is too close to Krsna dasi. You might be even concern to the point of
raising the alarm which might be very kind think to do. What you should not
do is to get to your computer and start typing messages on internet. Unless
you really want to be uncultured person who does not know how to act, what
to do and what not to do.
We see that even advanced people sometime accept service but with great
care. Srila Prabhupada accepted service from ladies but he was very careful
about it.
Questioni
Jayadvaita Swami: First thing is she is attractive. May be she is chaste.
But she is attractive. She is not lusty, she is not doing anything. She is
just attractive. That’s already a problem. That’s what Kapiladev is saying,
he does not say that the lusty woman is a problem; He says that the
attractive woman is a problem. For someone who is trying to get out of the
material energy, it’s not anything wrong with her, it’s him! He has a mind
and the mind is attracted to that beautiful woman, that’s a problem. It’s
not that she is evil, lusty, unchaste, acting improperly, it’s just that she
is attractive, that’s the problem.
Question: I appreciate the class but it seems that our movement is going
through phases were we have conservatives and liberals. So in some areas of
the world this kind of thinking is seen as backwardsi
Jayadvaita Swami: So you think that Lord Kapiladev is backwards? What does
this says about your thinking?
Question: That may be correct but I just saying, in some areas of the worldi
Jayadvaita Swami: But if they think there that Lord Kapiladeva is backwards,
that area must be very much backwardsi
Question: But these people say that since our movement is growing we have to
become more liberal in order to attract new more people.
Jayadvaita Swami: How many sannyasis we have lost because they were too
strict in their dealings with women? Let be real open-doubted – name one.
Name one sannyasi who has fallen down because he was overly restrictive in
association with women. And if you wanted to go the other way, because we
will go the other way, name those who have fallen down because they were
careless. We will be up in the 30, 40, and 50 in about 10 minutes. Within 5
minutes. Right? So where is the problem then? Is the problem that we are too
tight in association with women, we are avoiding them too much, we are not
mixing enough with them, we are not free and liberal enough, is that why we
have lost so many valuable men? Is that why many areas in the world have
seen their book distribution going down from here to there? Because people
were too restrictive about association with women? Or is it the other way?
Candramauli Swami: Is it true that if you accept service from anyone and if
you don’t give it back then you have to take birth again?
Jayadvaita Swami: I never read statement like this but service creates debt,
no doubt. If you accept a service from anyone it creates debt. But if you
are Krsna conschious all debts are paid. And if you keep the service that
someone rendered to you for yourself not redirecting it to Krsna then you
create debt for yourself. Because our job is to redirect all service we
receive back to Krsna and we are not supposed to keep it for ourselves.
Question: The message of Lord Kapila is strong and transcendental, how the
women can use it for their benefit?
Jayadvaita Swami: They can reverse the information and understand that the
material attachment to a man is also a source of trouble. Ultimately men and
women have to be attracted to Krsna.
We have to understand what the material illusion really is, what sex life
really is, and then only we can understand what is Radha-Krsna.
Question: This verse is so discouraging for us, women; how to overcome this
material platform of low birth and to think of ourselves as spirit souls?
Jayadvaita Swami: Women should not think I am a woman, she should think I am
a servant of Krsna. This warning is given to men, it is not given to women
so that they start thinking I am terrible, incompetent to serve Krsna,
everyone should think I am a spirit soul, a servant of Krsna. But women
should know that they can serve their society, community, family, by
chastity. Women should know that this modern society is not good for them.
Materialistic society encourages this, you are expressing yourself, you are
expressing your femininity, your womanhood. We have different culture where
women become exalted by self restrain, by dignity, in that way they help the
men in the society and they help themselves. There is an article in a
feminist Indian magazine called “Restrain as a feminine strategy” which is
available on internet. And although we might not agree with everything the
author says, she has pointed out that by sexual restrain women get power.
Women should know that by self restrain they get a position of power. And
the lady who wrote the article gives examples about the life in a community
or in the family where women opted for self restrain and how they obtained a
position of power. And you can think of Sita, how empowered she was that
armies were mobilized for her. Chastity has power, it is a power position.
And women don’t want to be powerless; women want to be empowered. By sexual
looseness one disempoweres himself whether you are a man or you are a woman.
So if you want to be powerful, like the question, o, I don’t want to be
discouraged, no, take it as opportunity to become powerful. How do you
become powerful? By serving the Supreme Powerful. Krsna says everybody is
eligible for devotional service, it is not only the men, everybody. Take it
as a power position.
Question: If I was a young lady interested in Krsna conschiousness and I
came across to this verse as my introduction to Krsna conschiousness that
would not be nice, I could only hope to take birth as a man. How would you
present this verse to a newcomer, a female?
Jayadvaita Swami: Well, I just did. This might not be our introductory verse
when we go out to preach, but everyone should understand the basic
principles that we are not this body, that we are spirit soul, so if someone
is discouraged that you are talking about me in this way, but no, I am not
talking about you, I am talking about someone’s body. The first point is
that you are not this body, man or a woman. I have to act in certain manner
because my body is there, I have to take it into account, but I don’t think
I am this body. And what it is said for the body does not pertain to me, I
am spirit soul, part and parcel of Krsna, what’s this have to do with me? So
I am not a man, I am not a woman. And if the newcomer stays long enough
around she will find out that actually the woman is more empowered first, on
the platform of chastity, and second on the platform of Krsna consciousness.
Women who are chaste are more powerful than those who are not chaste. A
revolutionary concept for the West.
But even modern women who are not Krsna conscious, who are not Christian,
who are not religious, this is another article, that in the best colleges of
USA there are societies of women who want to be chaste. Because they see it
as a power position. As a feminist platform. Not as a religious platform,
not as a traditional platform, as a feminist platform. We are sick and tired
of being exploited, and we are exploited because we are loose. And these
guys want us to be loose so that they can victimize us. And we are sick and
tired of it, we are going chaste. These are women who are not religious, who
do not belong to a Muslim or Hindu culture, who are just smart. So for the
women chastity is the power platform and the best chastity is Krsna
consciousness, so if you are a woman and you want to be empowered, chant
Hare Krsna.
Devotees: Jaya! Haribol!
Question: Prabhupada advised the devotees to see women as mothers and as
mothers, can we serve Vaisnava men?
Jayadvaita Swami: The example is Sacidevi, the mother of Caintanya
Mahaprabhu. When He took sannyasa she was grief-stricken, that now my Nimai
will leave. But she thought that, for my own happiness I would like to keep
you here, but I can’t do that because I have to consider your happiness,
your purpose in life. So she said you please stay in Puri. She did not say
you please stay at home. So that means she considered what is the best for
the spiritual advancement of her son. So if the mothers of the sannyasis and
the brahmacharis think in this way, what would be the best for the spiritual
advancement of my son, that will be good.
Question: On what stage in Krsna consciousness one can become free from the
perverted love?
Jayadvaita Swami: On the stage of Krsna prema. Then one is immuned against
the influence of the perverted love. Like Haridas Thakur, when the
prostitute came, after same time she just fell on the ground because nothing
worked. Because he was situated on the platform of perfection. Everyone who
is situated on a lower platform should be careful. And even those who are
situated on that platform are careful, to set a good example for others. We
have the example of Srila Prabhupada who chastised his servant for allowing
him to be alone with his 70 years old sister. Prabhupada was that careful.
“Why did you leave me alone with that woman??” That very old sister of his.
“Why did you allow me to be alone with that woman”? That’s how careful Srila
Prabhupada was; and we are not on the level of Srila Prabhupada, so how
careful should we be if we are serious about spiritual life and going back
to Godhead.
All right, thank you very much. All glories to Srila Prbhupada.
Devotees: Haribol! His Holiness Jayadvaita Swami Maharaja ki-Jaya!
Posted by August Assembly at 5:15 PM
Reactions:
4 comments:
Anonymous said...
“Women are worthy of worship. They are the fate of the household, the
lamp of enlightenment for all in the household. They bring solace to the
family and are an integral part of dharmic life. Even heaven is under the
control of women. The gods reside in those households where women are
worshipped and in households where women are slighted all efforts at
improvement go in vain.” Manusmriti 3-56
January 19, 2010 2:37 PM
Anonymous said...
Bhishma Pitamaha also said: “The teacher who teaches true knowledge is
more important than ten instructors. The father is more important than ten
such teachers of true knowledge and the mother is more important than ten
such fathers. There is no greater guru than mother.” Mahabharata,
Shantiparva, Chapter 30, sloka 9.
January 19, 2010 2:39 PM
(Text D:2222523) -------------------------------------------
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