Dear DevoteesPlease accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.I felt the need to be reminded of the profound words of one of SrilaPrabhupada dear sons H.H.Bhakti Tirtha Swami Maharaja.Here is his finalletter.I sure we can all benefit by hearing from him once again.Hare Krsna.Your Servant,Candramauli Swami.Subject: Last letter from BTS------------------------------------------------------------8th May 2005Dear Maharajas, Prabhus and DisciplesPlease accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.This is the final letter that I will be sending out. Our movement is like ayoung adult. There are many things that everyone experiences, individuals aswell as institutions that are part of the maturation process. As we grow, wealso have to deal with growth pains. Often after these growth pains weexperience the greatest benefits from our struggles, just like a mother whois pregnant and who is bringing forth children. Each time before she givesbirth she has to deal with almost unbearable challenges. So we as aninstitution have experienced so many birth pains and challenges especiallyeach time there is opportunity for major acceleration. Sometimes some ofthese tests institutionally and individually have heavily bewildered us,seriously wounded us and unfortunately, sometimes temporarily destroyed us.But we all know that there can not be serious growth and advancement withoutausterity. Prabhupada explains in the Bhagavatam that an easy life andKrishna consciousness go ill together.Each of us has our own battle of Kuruksetra that we have to deal with. Inany battlefield situation one can be victorious or one can be a failure,however, even when one is a failure it can be used to come back strongerat a later time. In a battlefield situation one is in the most dangerousenvironments where the most gruesome as well as the most noble things takeplace, but with good association the individual has more guarantee to besuccessful. We have been offered the very best strategy and associationby our wonderful acaryas so really if we become failures it is ultimatelyour own fault. If we keep in good association even our temporary defeatswill remind us but not define us.From these setbacks we should individually as well as collectively becomestronger and hopefully wiser and more unified. It is important to remindourselves that at the end of the day, all we really have is each other.Ultimately a genuine family is eager to see how to help each other, theyshare in the defeats and they share in the successes especially sincedevotees are para dukha dukhi.So many of us have been pioneers. Pioneers naturally make sacrifices forfuture generations but ultimately they establish the foundation. Thespecial mercy is all that we did is in our spiritual bank accounts. Ihave personally noticed that many devotees build up their spiritualinvestments and when it is almost time for them to benefit from theircredits i.e. to receive empowerment and to accelerate by leaps and boundsin their consciousness, Maya finds a way to trick them so that theybecome unaware or unable to benefit from what is available at the righttime. These kinds of tests bring a person to tremendous crossroads.At a crossroad we can take the path of success; more profound selflessdevotion, offering oneself more intensely than ever before to Guru andto Krishna or, we can choose the path of selfishness, with all kinds ofsubtle attachments that will lead to downfall. My realization is thatwithout sufficient humility and high quality association, many peoplewill take the path of temporary failure. It seems that several of therecent serious fall downs in big places are connected with four majorfactors: aparadhas, a lack of humility, a lack of quality associationand a lack of understanding of some of the dynamics of advancement(some of the great dark night of the soul challenges).As more of us raise the quality of our own consciousness, this willlead to consistent manifestations of deeper purity and we will have agreater impact on the environment. Just as Maya is contagious, authenticBhakti is contagious.I have made many mistakes in my devotional career especially in the areaof being more sensitive to devotees needs. I feel I was given a specialservice in Srila Prabhupada’s mission to help the devotees to look closerat how to rise above anartha nivrtti. A lot of my focus in preaching wasto care for and to help the devotees as best as I could, especially tohelp them to recognise their stagnations while they simultaneouslydevelop the faith and technologies of how to be less and less distracted.I also feel that I was given a few special privileges and lots of helpin addressing a small part of Srila Prabhupada’s mission on how to solvematerial problems with spiritual solutions. This required a certain styleof presentation, it wasn’t so much that I sacrificed developing externalsadhu qualities, but I think it had more to do with some of the ways Ineeded to function to go in like a needle and come out like an elephant.After all, it was these kinds of services, creative sankirtana, whichconstantly got me Srila Prabhupada’s favour when he was on the planet.This was one of the reasons I chose to leave my body in the west onthe battlefield. Another reason was that I realized if a few more of thesenior leaders left their bodies where there are major projects, this wouldplay a significant role in helping to develop and secure those projects.What to speak of reminding ourselves that so much of Srila Prabhupada’ssuccess was in establishing holy dhamas all around the world. The importantthing in my humble opinion is, since the scriptural injunction states thatone should always desire to live in the holy dhamas and one should leavetheir body in the holy dhamas, we understand that yes, it is physical, butmore importantly it is a state of consciousness. We should never minimizethe sacredness and the benefit of leaving our bodies in the holy dhama.So many wonderful special helpers are there in the holy dhamas to assistone with their transition. By the mercy of Srila Prabhupada all kinds ofhelp for the devotee is arranged. I have shared with many of you, thatone of my greatest realizations is that even when we think we are doingour best, it is still so insignificant, or that by the mercy of Krishna,Srila Prabhupada and their many helpers, they will maintain what we haveand supply big time, what we are lacking. By the mercy of all of you,there are indications that I may be on my way back to the spiritualworld in perhaps one or two weeks and I may also be able to continue tohave some influence here to assist the mission.I want to offer my apologies to all of you that I have offended, especiallydue to my often radical and unorthodox nature. I want to thank you so muchfor helping my life to be successful by allowing me in my own small way tooffer myself up in sacrifice, somewhat in the mood of Vasudeva Datta to tryto be the servant of the servant. Only by your constant prayers and theconstant forcing of Srila Prabhupada in keeping me somewhat focused was Iable to pass the final test.So I leave with you my funny mantra with its different variations. “Weare all spiritual warriors, who are blessed by the best, and we have aduty to reach out more to help each other to pass their test.”In order to successfully deal with the pains of maturation, the birthpains, and our own battle of Kuruksetra, all of us really need more ofeach others protection, and that protection manifests more profoundlyin how we allow ourselves to be conduits for Krishna’s and SrilaPrabhupada’s mercy.This experience of leaving the body is frightening and scary at times,full of surprises, pain, and inconveniences, but I also understand thatso much of my suffering is just a token due to Srila Prabhupada’s mercy.When I look at all the people that Srila Prabhupada used me to assist invarious ways, all of the inconveniences and suffering are surely worth it.So I will now go ahead and join some of those who have already left andhelp them in making arrangements for so many of you. Isn’t this powerfulglobal inter-planetary family that we have so wonderful?Lastly, let me say to my biological family, I want to thank all of you forallowing me to take birth in your family so I could hide out a little bitand do the special work that I was sent here to do in connection withprevious lifetimes.There should not be so much ambiguity after my departure as many thingshave been spoken or written down, for example, how my disciples andwell-wishers should continue with various projects. Later there will bea posting of who to contact when one sends in their application for ahealth grant. The grants will be in gifts of one thousand to threethousand dollars for each legitimate request as long as the money isavailable. This amount is insignificant but it is just a token from mein an effort to use money that was sent from around the world to coverthe cost of my health expenses. It is one way that I want to bring moreattention to the fact that it is not just the leaders who should receiveso much support, but each dedicated sadhu should be able to look forwardto various support systems kicking in for them more and more in thefuture. When we think more about others’ welfare, Krishna will hear ourprayers. He will help us to find more and better ways to do our part inserving our own communities as well as serving the world. We are notSalvationists, we do not want to just give assistance and love only tothose of our same faith. We don’t want to be that pseudo spiritualistwho just wants to facilitate their own kind. We want to be activeagents for global consciousness raising.I love you all and will find even more ways to show it after I leave thisbody.Yours in Srila Prabhupada’s ServiceWith LoveBhakti Tirtha SwamiPS I want to thank all the wonderful Doctors, nurses, health practitionersand other care takers who assisted me throughout my sickness so nicely.Although you may not have been able to cure me of the disease, you surelyhealed me with your expert care and love.
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