Hare Krsna
Please accept my humble obeisance. All glories to Srila Prabhupada
Just as we protect ourselves from unseasonal rains and earthquakes by building good, strong shelters, similarly we need to systematically cultivate the divine qualities that give us protection during the storms of strife and doubts. We build a safe haven before the storm; we cultivate humility and tolerance to face the negative stimulants. Srila Prabhupada often said, “One’s greatness is estimated by one’s ability to tolerate provoking situations.”
In an age when relationships are strained over minor misunderstandings and we dispute over trifles, how can we cultivate tolerance? While in the midst of a misunderstanding, instead of investigating who’s actually guilty, and trying to get to the bottom of issues, we need to remember that a forest fire isn’t started by anyone. When the wind blows and the bamboos rub against each other the friction causes fire. We can’t blame anyone for that. Likewise the nature of this forest-like material world is individual egos clash and for no reason, even without any ill motives and prejudices, there will be misunderstandings.
At such times we need to remember a classic verse from the sacred text, Sri Chaitanya Charitamrita – “One who thinks himself lower than a blade of grass, who is more tolerant than a tree, and who does not expect personal honour but is always prepared to give all respect to others can very easily and always chant the holy name of the Lord.” (Chaitanya Charitamrita, Antya, 20.21). A tree silently faces bitter winters and cruel summers, and offers its life for the benefit of others without ever retaliating. When life treats us unjustly, we should accept it as mercy of God, and respond with compassion, love and respect.
As soon as a propensity to judge, criticize or quarrel arises in our minds, we could try to remember this verse. The scripture further recommends us to thread this verse on the string of the holy name of God and wear this verse around our neck always. In India it is common to see people wearing a talisman on their necks or arms. Some put on precious gems, or astrological stones on their bodies, hoping it will offer magical protection against evil spells or disease. But the real amulet for all quarrels and dissensions is the jewel of humility and tolerance.
Question: The caring attitude is pleasing to everyone, but generally the default attitude in this world is one always thinks selfishly. So is it an inbuilt script of the mind that makes one think selfishly?
Radhanath Swami Answers: The false ego misconceives: “I am this body, I am this mind, I am the controller, I am the proprietor, and I am the selfish enjoyer.” This is foundational to all material complications; it impels us to put ourselves above others and act selfishly. And when we continue to act in that way, it becomes a habit. And according to how we habituate ourselves by making those wrong choices we become more and more engrained in that way of thinking.
That is the way any habit works. For example, if you smoke a lot of cigarettes you become addicted, and the more you smoke the more you become addicted. The habit becomes a craving, and then it is very difficult to do anything without feeding your habit. When you are in the middle of it, you cannot really understand the effect of what you are doing because you are so much a slave of the habit. So that is exactly the way the ego works. Our selfishness, our arrogance, our greed, our selfish passions, our anger, and our envy – as we make choices to feed these habits, they become stronger and stronger and stronger.
But when we associate with saintly people we began to understand what we really want in life and what our condition is. And then we will take the medicine and the way of life by which we can become liberated from these habits of egotism. Chanting of the holy names is the simple medicine that will cure one from all the symptoms of ego, ignorance and selfishness
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