Women in ISKCON are all devotees and therefore glorious. Some of them are clearly advanced from their previous lives. They should be regarded with all due respect—from a distance. If they are serious devotees, they will respect your strictness.
Due to lack of training or attachment to women’s lib ideas, women devotees may sometimes act improperly with you. Better let it pass, and not make a scene out of it. Women are supposed to be trained in chastity, but modern women aren’t. We men also may still be influenced by the lusty exploitative mentality in our dealings with women. So we may also be at fault. If it becomes necessary, have a word with the temple authorities.
In these beginning days of ISKCON we have to be strict but also tolerant, understanding that most Westerners can’t adjust their social behavior overnight to resemble that of traditional Indian Vaishnavas. Shrila Prabhupada was sensitive about this point and therefore was successful in establishing Krishna consciousness in the West.
Brahmacaris often have a tendency to reject women, but Shrila Prabhupada never did that because he was above attraction and repulsion and simply wanted to engage everyone in Krishna’s service. When a devotee complained to Prabhupada that the presence of women in our movement caused too many problems and suggested that we no longer accept women as full time devotees, Shrila Prabhupada replied, “They have come to take shelter of Krishna. We cannot turn them away.” (-Told by Danavira dasa Gosvami)
“Regarding the disturbance made by woman devotees, they are also living beings. They also come to Krishna. So consciously I cannot deny them. If our male members, the brahmacaris and the sannyasis, become steady in Krishna consciousness, there is no problem. It is the duty of the male members to be very steady and cautious. This can be done by regular chanting like Haridasa Thakura did. Whenever there is a young woman, we should remember Haridasa Thakura and beg his mercy to protect us, and we should think that these beautiful gopis are meant for the enjoyment of Krishna. It is a dilemma for our society that we cannot deny these girls, and at the same time they are a great dangerous allurement to the young boys.” (Letter, 29/09/75)
On being informed that some brahmacaris felt disturbed by the presence of women in the temple, Shrila Prabhupada sarcastically suggested that the brahmacaris go to the forest. (Letter, 03/12/72) Previously, brahmacaris used to live in the forest, far away from the agitation of the cities. But that is not possible in the modern age. Indeed, as a consequence of preaching, at least as many women as men will be attracted to Krishna consciousness, and we cannot deny their existence, or their right to serve Krishna. Rather, anyone who comes to Krishna consciousness must be encouraged. However, as long as one is not completely pure, if a male devotee begins with the best intentions to encourage a woman to take to Krishna consciousness, the tendency is to become attracted on the emotional and physical levels. Therefore, even though brahmacaris may preach to anyone, it is better that women preach to women.
In 1967, at the 2nd Avenue temple in New York City, Shrila Prabhupada announced in one class, “Don’t see these girls as objects of sense gratification. See them as associates of Krishna.” (Told by Jadurani-devi dasi) And in the mid-1970’s in America, a party of sannyasis and brahmacaris became overly righteous about the attachments of grihasthas and women. Tension developed and reached exploding point at the Mayapura Festival of 1976. In the course of setting everything straight (the way he always did—by preaching Krishna consciousness) Shrila Prabhupada said that male devotees should address the women as “My dear mother” and the women should see the men as “My dear son.” (Told by Jadurani-devi dasi)
In a conversation in Seattle in 1968, Shrila Prabhupada said, “Now, another thing: Girls should not be taken as inferior. Sometimes, of course, in scripture we say that woman is the cause of bondage. So, that should not be aggravated that women are inferior. The girls who come, we should treat them nicely. After all, anyone who is coming to Krishna consciousness, man or woman, is very fortunate. The idea of addressing each other as Prabhu means, ‘You are my master.’ Prabhu means ‘master.’ So everyone shall treat others as ‘my master.’ This is Vaishnava understanding. In spiritual life there is nothing like this sexism. The more we forget sex life means we are advancing in spiritual life. So this should be the attitude: women, godsisters, should be nicely treated.”
There is an amusing story from Brazil, where in one temple all the brahmacaris became so “fired-up” that they wanted to send all the women away. When the GBC, H.H. Hridayananda Gosvami, found out, he joked, “Don’t be ridiculous. Then the brahmacaris wouldn’t have anyone to perform for.”
There are certain points in Prabhupada’s books concerning women which unless one is a very self-controlled devotee and expert preacher, one should be cautious about repeating in public and in classes, especially if women devotees or guests are present (e.g., quotes stating women to be less intelligent than men, or nine times as lusty, etc.). After all, mam hi partha vyapashritya, and kalau shudra-sambhavah. Everyone in this age is low born. Men or women, we are all running on Lord Chaitanya’s and Shrila Prabhupada’s mercy. We don’t want to discourage women who are already devotees, nor those who are potential devotees. Nor do we want to make the brahmacaris artificially proud. Sensitive topics need to be handled by competent devotees.
The Vedic social philosophy states that women are to be protected by men, but that duty is for the grihasthas, not for brahmacaris or sannyasis. For a brahmacari, young women mean trouble. However sincere young women devotees may be, when in contact with brahmacaris a kind of energy is produced that is not conducive for devotional advancement. Those who have regular contact with young women devotees, even innocently or for the sake of service, are almost certain to get worn down. They may not even notice the effect of such association, but nevertheless it is like radioactivity: slow, subtle, and irreversible.
A brahmacari should be very cautious if a woman is being “too nice” to him (e.g. keeps giving him maha-prasada). Service by a woman is a trap for a man. (SB 3.31.40) It is women’s nature to seek shelter and protection from a man, because it is generally both spiritually and materially beneficial for them to be married. But brahmacaris should know that although men generally improve materially if married, that so-called improvement simply means entanglement in sense gratification; therefore for a man’s spiritual progress it is intrinsically better to live without a woman. Acting on the platform of this knowledge, a brahmacari who wants to stay brahmacari has to be free from material compassion for women looking for husbands.
Shrila Prabhupada: “The managers of our society should see that all the brahmacaris stay brahmacari, and all the women get married.” Devotees: “How is that possible, Shrila Prabhupada?” Shrila Prabhupada: “That is your management.” (Told by Giriraja Swami)
Shrila Prabhupada noted, “These girls generally come to our society to find out a suitable husband.” (Letter, 06/10/68) Naturally, women devotees want to marry the best men devotees. They tend to be more attracted to brahmacaris who are steady, committed, mature, and responsible. Almost perversely, brahmacaris who are serious to stay brahmacaris usually become targets of anxious brahmacarinis. For a women to “hunt down” a man who wants to remain committed to brahmacari life could be considered an act of violence against his progressive spiritual development. On the other hand, it can be considered a test that even great sages have to undergo.
If a brahmacari who wants to stay a brahmacari finds that a young woman is becoming friendly towards him, alarm bells should go off in his head and he should extricate himself from that situation. If that is not possible, the next best response is not to respond. To remain polite but cold in the face of advances, and to consistently show disinterest, soon convinces women to direct their conjugal aspirations elsewhere. There is no room for sentiment in such dealings. If the brahmacari allows his heart to flutter and reciprocates with even a little interest, the huntress, being encouraged, will not stop until the quarry’s heart is fully pierced with Cupid’s arrows.
If, however, a woman remains persistent in her desire for an unwilling brahmacari, the latter may frankly say to her, “Mataji, I already gave many lifetimes to many women like yourself. Please give me your blessings that I can give this life fully to Krishna, without unnecessary disturbances or entanglements.” If the brahmacari is serious about his commitment, only a shameless woman would continue to pursue him further.
However, in our temples it is often a practical necessity that men and women engage in devotional service side by side. We can’t avoid such situations, although temple authorities should arrange that male and female devotees are kept apart as much as possible. Brahmacaris should maintain Vaishnava respect towards devotee women, without becoming overly familiar or loose, or developing friendships with them. Shrila Prabhupada: “Sannyasis should have ‘Keep in a cool place’ stamped on their foreheads, just like on the butter package.” (Told by Shrutakirti dasa)
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