From a very young age I knew that this life that I was living was not all that there was. I started searching to find what the perfection of life is. I was told that it was wealth, a big house or an expensive car, but with each step towards success, I was less and less happy.
Then I met some devotees who introduced our family to Krishna. I quickly forgot that all of these items were even on my bucket list. Instead, I was encouraged to search for ways to see Krishna in the world. Overwhelmingly, I realized that I had it all wrong. No amount of sense enjoyment can make us happy and we cannot really enjoy anything without Krishna. He is the light of the sun, moon, and fire and without these, we cannot see this material world. To search for Him in this world started to become my daily pleasure.
Naturally, I wanted to learn more about my relationship with Krishna and that search for knowledge led me to understand that there is not just this body. In each body there are two souls, one is the soul belonging to me, that I take with me to my next body after I shed this one. The other is Krishna who I carry in my heart as the Supersoul and He is present in the body of each living entity. It made me feel very blessed to know that while I can see Krishna in the world, I can also know that he is within me.
To learn more, I needed help from a pure devotee, so I asked my friend Kisori for some guidance. She explained that it was wonderful that I understood that Krishna is within us all; we also have a relationship that is special.
Together we discussed that material nature, such as this world, can change from moment to moment. We have all seen this but don’t really think too much about it unless we leave a place and return later to see the development. We can become quite distressed when we see this happen.
The individual soul is within us, or me in this discussion, and it never changes. When we are either happy or sad, this is because of events that come about from us identifying with nature, such as the changes, such as when we recognize the development or destruction of a place we may call home. Wanting to enjoy this nature, creates a connection with our soul. Remembering there is a second soul within, this is the Supersoul or Krishna, is never caught up in nature like we are, and to know this brings liberation.
What could I do to always see Krishna and to come to know and love Him more deeply? Kisori had some wisdom around this question too. She explained that we as living entities enjoy the three modes of material nature. Because of this, we come to meet with both good and evil. Because we are influenced by these desires, we return in the body of a man, a dog, or a hog and this is due to our association with the modes of nature.
How can we get through this? If I am searching for ways to see Krishna in this world, I really don’t want to be in the body of a hog! I learned that we must rise through the modes and come to be situated in the transcendental position.
In most cases, we are trapped in the mode of ignorance and due to this, we suffer from material pains, never happy with anything. The next step up would be to be in the mode of passion, which is when we have short-term happiness, so we keep searching for more to fulfill us. Finally, we hope to rise to the mode of goodness, or long-term happiness, being in Krishna consciousness. While we will generally all be in a mixture of these modes, we aim to rise through them towards Krishna. To help with the mode of goodness, we can always remember Krishna in everything we do and see.
Everything so far made sense, but how do we move through transmigration? Kisori shared with me some lessons from the Bhagavad Gita around exactly this. I understood that my soul (individual) and the Supersoul (Krishna) will always stay the same and only our outer shell or body will change.
At the time of death, what we are thinking of, our consciousness will help us to move to our next body. If we think of dogs and hogs like the ignorant, this will be our next outer body. If we think of godly things we will return as a demigod. But if we can think of Krishna and be in Krishna consciousness at the time of death, we will go to the spiritual world, with Krishna. We, the soul is eternal, the body is not. This struggle for existence is called karsati.
This made me realize that I want to see more of Krishna in the world, to always remember Him, to love Him and to serve Him in loving devotional service, and one day, to go back to our Lord. The more we work towards Krishna, the more he will let us come to Him.
Krishna tells us of ways to recognize a self-realized person. He teaches us that those who do not hate illumination, attachment or detachment, or long for them when they do not see them, being beyond material reaction to the three modes of material nature. He knows that the modes are there, being in action. They see a stone and a piece of gold as the same. They can abandon fruitive activities. He has transcended the modes of material nature.
My lesson from this is that everything in the material world is due to Krishna. He has shown us that He is with us at every step of the way. He leaves signs so that we can always recognize Him in material nature, giving us hope, letting us always remember Him. In this way, I can work toward the mode of goodness, one day hoping to become self-realized and transmigrate back to the perfection of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna.
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