Sevak

Helping your helpless friend

Hello friends! Here I will share some of my views on helping a suicidal friend.

Generally suicidal individual’s gives warning signals they express it explicitly and sometime it's very subtly expressed

Before that I would like to clear out some suicide misconceptions:

Suicide misconceptions:

1. Those People who talk about suicide will not commit it only  

Studies shows Almost 70-80% suicidal will say before taking the ultimate action

2.  People who try to kill themselves must be crazy.  

Mostly suicidal people are not crazy or mentally ill rather they are so trapped by unbearable negative thoughts, people and surroundings

3. No one can stop If a person decides to kill himself/herself

This is quite a narrow minded mentality, isnt it  definitely if you desire you get the power to uplift anyone, right

4. People who commits suicide are those people who were unwilling to seek help.

Studies of suicide victims have shown that more than half had asked for medical help in the six months prior to their deaths.

Now we come to the point of

Warning signals:

1. Talking/ writing about suicide: this is the foremost warning signal. Any guy/girl seriously talking about suicide, posting the thoughts online, onto the social media just doesn’t take it jokingly.

2. Seeking out harmful means seeking access to gun, drugs, cutter, ropes and so on hoodoo just keep your watch on them because they are on the way setting their mind.

3. Self-hatred & self-harm: they start hating themselves so much so that they really don’t care about hurting themselves badly

4. Withdrawing from other people

They get isolated from social crowd unexpectedly and start living most of the time alone

5. Saying goodbye: They give Unusual or unexpected visits or calls to family, friends. Saying goodbye

We saw the suicide misconception, warning signals now let us move on to prevention measures

Prevention 1: face to face talking

When talking to a suicidal person

Do’s:

  • Let the person know, you truly care(show yes wala tick mark) so that he/she gets the feeling they are not alone.
  • Listen to them.
  • Show true sympathy be non-judgmental keep your brain aside use your heart more, be patient, calm & accepting.

           Offer hope. Let the person know that he/she is important to you.

Don’ts:

  • Arguing (show Cross mark)NO NO! Never argue with the suicidal person. Just listen to them try to understand them.
  • Lecturing on the value of life  you may possess a most sophisticated philosophical mind, you forget that you have one. Don't say that suicide is wrong and all. Just understand the need of hour. boost the feeling in their heart that they are valued and worthy to live
  • Keeping Promise of confidentiality Sometimes you will be asked to keep the promise of not disclosing their suicidal thoughts to others. You tell them you wont but be smart and never act foolishly by keeping it with yourself only.
  • Ordering them to justify their suicidal feelings  It is not about how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting your friend or loved one.

prevention 2: Offer active help and support

  • Approach a capable personality Do offer whatever help you can offer from your side. Give your best. But mostly issues like suicide are not in our scope alone. Therefore Dont keep it as a secret. Reveal to a trusted one, involve the family, teacher  a guide            
  • Regular Follow-up It takes time to heal the grief stricken heart have patience and do regular follow ups. And during early stage Never leave them alone.
  • Be proactive. Don’t say “Call me if you need anything, anytime” Don’t wait for the person to call you or even to receive your calls. Visit them. Take your needy friend to your home.
  • Remove lethal means of suicide, such as pills, razors, or firearms. If the person needs medication give out only as the person needs it.
  • Accepting favourable and rejecting unfavourable

Accepting positive vibrations positive people and discarding negative people. Accepting healthy lifestyle habits like healthy diet, exercises, good sleep, devoting some little time of the day in prayers etc.

After all we all are in one greatest need that is love. Do everything possible which will show your unconditional love and care to your suicidal friend, make them believe that he/she occupies an important place in your life and keep praying for them.

 

I hope this video helps.

Thank you very much,

Hare krsna!


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