Song by Jayadeva Gosvami
Krsna was dancing in the forest bower. He was immersed in joyful pastimes with beautiful young gopis, who were receiving him with the utmost respect. Radha was blinded by love for Krsna and enchanted to the point of bewilderment. Directly before the attractive eyes of the other radiant cowherd maidens, who were overwhelmed with love in the rasa-lila, Radha tightly embraced Krsna’s chest. When Radha saw Krsna enjoying affectionate exchanges with all the cowherd maidens in the groves of Vrndavana, she became indignant because he had not acknowledged her eminence. She immediately departed for another part of the forest and hid herself inside a shady bower that resounded with the drone of bumblebees.
kamsarir api samsaravasana-
bandha-srnkhalam
radham adhaya hrdaye
tatyaja vraja-sundarih
Translation
As Krsna, the enemy of Kansa, remembered the intimate love expressed previously by Radha, he realized that it was the very essence of the highest devotion. His heart was bound by the chain of worldly desire, embodied in the form of Radha. Therefore, considering the love of the other voluptuous maidens of Vraja to be insignificant, he abandoned them all.
itas tatas tam anusrtya radhikam
ananga-bana-vrana-khinna-manasah
krtanutapah sa kalinda-nandinitatanta-
kunje visasada madhavah
Translation
As the arrows of Kamadeva tore him apart, Sri Krsna condemned himself, “Alas! Why did I neglect Sri Radha? How will I meet her again?” He searched extensively to find her, but without success. Finally, in despair, he entered a secluded grove on the Yamuna riverside and began to repent.
mam iyam calita vilokya vrtam vadhu-nicayena
saparadhataya mayapi na varitati-bhayena
hari! hari! hatadarataya gata sa kupiteva (refrain) (1)
Translation
“When Radha saw me surrounded by cowherd damsels, she became indignant and departed. I thought, ‘I have committed an offence’, so I became fearful and could not muster the courage to stop her from leaving. Alas! She left in a huff because I had disrespected her.”
kim karisyati kim vadisyati sa ciram virahena
kim dhanena janena kim mama jivitena grhena
hari! hari! hatadarataya... (2)
Translation
“She has been suffering from the devastating heat of separation for a long time, so I cannot predict her behaviour. What will she do? What will she say? Alas! In the absence of Radha, my wealth, my relatives, my life, my home and everything seem worthless.”
cintayami tad-ananam kutila-bhru kopa-bharena
sona-padmam ivopari bhramatakulam bhramarena
hari! hari! hatadarataya... (3)
Translation
“I feel as if I am directly beholding the face of Sri Radha, with its arched creeperlike eyebrows. Her angry face resembles a red lotus flower surrounded by hovering bumblebees.”
tam aham hrdi sangatam anisam bhrsam ramayami
kim vane ’nusarami tam iha kim vrtha vilapami
hari! hari! hatadarataya... (4)
Translation
“Alas! When I continuously realize the direct presence of Radha and deeply embrace her in the temple of my heart, why am I uselessly lamenting over her and why am I repeatedly searching for her from forest to forest?”
tanvi khinnam asuyaya hrdayam tavakalayami
tan na vedmi kuto gatasi na tena te ’nunayami
hari! hari! hatadarataya... (5)
Translation
“O delicate woman with a slender waist, it seems that your heart is contaminated with jealousy. But what can I do? You proudly left in a huff. What kind of humble supplication should I offer to dispel your indignation? I have no idea.”
drsyase purato gatagatam eva me vidadhasi
kim pureva sa-sambhramam parirambhanam na dadasi
hari! hari! hatadarataya... (6)
Translation
“Alas! It seems that you are repeatedly coming and going. Why do you not impetuously embrace me as you did before, being impelled by the exhilaration of love?”
ksamyatam aparam kadapi tavedrsam na karomi
dehi sundari darsanam mama manmathena dunomi
hari! hari! hatadarataya... (7)
Translation
“O beautiful one, please forgive me. I will never offend you again. Allow me to see you at once. I am reeling from the pain inflicted by Kandarpa.”
varnitam jayadeva-kena harer idam pravanena
kindubilva-samudra-sambhava-rohini-ramanena
hari! hari! hatadarataya... (8)
Translation
Sri Jayadeva appeared in the village of Kindubilva just as the moon appears from the ocean. He has humbly collected Sri Krsna’s expressions of sorrow in the form of this song.
hrdi bisa-lata-haro nayam bhujangama-nayakah
kuvalaya-dala-sreni kanthe na sa garala-dyutih
malayaja-rajo nedam bhasma priya-rahite mayi
prahara na hara-bhrantyananga krudha kim u dhavasi
Translation
“Hey Anaìga! Are you inflicting pain on me with such fury because you think that I am Lord Siva? Why have you become so harsh? This is not the king of snakes, Vasuki, upon my chest. It is actually a necklace made of lotus stems. The blueness of my throat is not the effect of poison, but a garland of blue lotus flowers. This is not ash from a funeral pyre smeared on my body. It is sandalwood paste applied in the absence of my beloved. So go away! You have caught me by mistake, so stop unnecessarily raining your terrible arrows upon me. Why are you running after me in such a rage? And look! Lord Siva lives happily with half of his body united with Parvati, whereas I am far from united with Radhika – I don’t even know where she is.”
panau ma kuru cuta-sayakam amum ma capam aropaya
krida-nirjita-visva murcchita-janaghatena kim paurusam
tasya eva mrgi-drso manasija prenkhat-kataksasugasreni-
jarjaritam manag api mano nadyapi sandhuksate
Translation
“Hey Cupid! You who conquer the entire universe by the power of your bow on the pretext of playing a game, I am suffering from the fever of amorous desires. In what way will your remarkable prowess be established by assaulting an insignificant and decrepit fellow like me. Don’t take that mango-bud arrow in your hand. If you do, at least do not place it on your bow. Just see! My heart has been cut to pieces by the sidelong glances streaming forth from that doe-eyed Sri Radha and it has not yet recovered. Therefore do not strike my heart, which has already fainted from the convulsions of lust.”
bhru-pallavo dhanur apanga-tarangitani
bana gunah sravana-palir iti smarena
tasyam ananga-jaya-jangama-devatayam
astrani nirjita-jaganti kim arpitani
Translation
“Aha! The bow of fresh petal-like eyebrows, the arrow-like waves of angular glances from the corner of the eye, the bowstring of long eyes that almost reach the ears – these components comprise the totally infallible military science employed by Kamadeva. After conquering everyone in the universe without exception, Kamadeva has again offered those weapons to their empress, the animate deity of his own victory, Sri Radha.”
bhru-cape nihitah kataksa-visikho nirmatu marma-vyatham
syamatma kutilah karotu kabari-bharo ’pi marodyamam
moham tavad ayam ca tanvi tanutam bimbadharo ragavan
sad-vrttam stana-mandalam tava katham pranair mama kridati
Translation
“O slender Radha, the arrow of your sidelong glance, shooting forth from the bow of your eyebrow, may tear my heart to pieces. The rope of your dark curling locks may bind me like a prisoner. Your lips, as soft and red as bimba fruit, may bewilder me. But your perfectly round and enchanting breasts are well-behaved. So why are they playing with my life-airs on the pretext of a sport?”
tani sparsa-sukhani te ca taralah snigdha drsor vibhramas
tad vaktrambuja-saurabham sa ca sudha-syandi giram vakrima
sa bimbadhara-madhuriti visayasange ’pi cen manasam
tasyam lagna-samadhi hanta viraha-vyadhih katham vardhate
Translation
“While meditating on my beloved in a secluded place, my skin thrills on experiencing the happiness of her pure touch. The restlessness of her eyes, her affectionate expressions, her erroneous behaviour due to the bewilderment of love, and the way she casts her glance are bringing me back to life. I am being inundated by the fragrance of her lotus mouth. I can hear the trickling ambrosia of her words as she speaks one crooked statement after another. I am tasting the sweet nectar of her enchanting bimba-fruit lips. My mind has become deeply attached to these objects of perception in this condition of trance. So why is my dire suffering from the disease of separation increasing so rapidly at every moment?”
Comments
Hare Krishna
Madhuram Madhuram... Krishna's pastimes are so sweet.. But I am not in such an exhalted state of consciousness to relish it in a perfect way.. Thank you for sharing... All glories to Srila Prabhupada !
BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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