"The actual consciousness that one needs to achieve is nirmama and nishkinchana , to have nothing. Having nothing can be achieved by a grihastha if he accepts everything as Krishna's.
Bhaktivinod Thakura prayed,''Manasa deho geho, jo kichu mora, arpilo tua pade Nanda Kishore", "My mind, my body, my household, whatever normally one would consider their's, whatever it may be, I am simply offering at your Lotus Feet, Nanda Kishore. Everything is Yours."
If someone takes up their service in that attitude, then grihastha life will not be a big impediment. But if one is very attached to his family life, and thinks, "This is all mine, and I will give a little bit to Krishna," then it is difficult for him to get a taste of the nectar of Krishna consciousness."
Everything is Krishna's and He has given me this service and I should do something to serve Him. Everything is His," - if they have this proper attitude, it will not be an impediment. It is very important to develop this proper attitude. So, in the varnashrama system one should first be trained to be a brahmachari, learn vairagya vidya, and apply these things practically when he enters grihastha life."