Dear Krsna ,
My heart sings this night like a sweet nightengale. I cannot say I really understand why you love me. Yet tonight unlike any other I do . I just want to tell you how very grateful I am to you for today and all my yesterdays.
From the beginning of this lifetime there seemed to be a dark cloud hanging over me. And , for all intents and purposes I should have been dead long ago. For a long time i was hurt and angry about all the "bad" I had been through. But , tonight I finally grasped a nugget of truth. That each of those times when I was abused or experienced something bad..... it was an oppurtunity for you to manifest yourself and show forth your power! For the first time in a long, long time I feel okay about my past. Thank you Lord for all of your love and protection and thank you for the "bad" times too........ Because its made me who I am and has brought me to your lotus feet. I think of the saying about when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade.....
Forgive my forgetfulness Sri Krsna and bless your servant His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada for his humbleness in bringing your message to the shores of my birth in this incarnation. Let him know how very much I love him and to me he is a father. The father I wished for so many times in my childhood.... I shed tears of gratefulness right now for his unconditional love for the peoples of the west! If he had not obeyed you where would I be right now? I see him now dancing before you and smiling that pure wonderful smile of his. Oh my dear sweet Lord Krsna I love you so very much for caring enough to send the best.......
I want you to know I accept my responsibilities in the things I experienced in this life. I know that all is wrapped up in the law of karma. I read in the Bhagavad Gita where it is stated;
"YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE, AND, ACCORDING TO THE GRAVITY OF YOUR SINS, YOU SHOULD ACCEPT SOME TYPE OF ATONEMENT AS DESCRIBED IN THE SASTRAS OR SCRIPTURES." (BHAG. 6.1.8)
But , I also see now Lord that you were always there lifting me up and leading me back home to Godhead! And, I also know that I have been blessed for some reason to be able to return unto you here and now..... from the moment I heard those eternal jewels of the universes , Hare Krsna , Hare Krsna , Krsna , Krsna , Hare , Hare , Hare Rama , Hare Rama , Rama , Rama , Hare , Hare . A peace filled my soul and like angelic wings it lifted me from the foul into the holy!!!
I dream of the day when like the gopis I can dance and play with you my Lord. Until that glorious day i will serve you minute by minute with a heart of fear and awe and love!
I end my prayer dear Lord with a plea for those who like me before felt no one hears their cries in the night..... Oh the child cowering in the dark corner wondering why.... or the woman assaulted by a society that sees her as a piece of meat to be used and tossed aside or the man who works himself to death with hope of finding satisfaction in the material. Let them know that you are there and they are never , ever , alone...... Lead me to them and allow me to be your hands that lift them up and the voice that soothes their sorrow and the chest that they lay their weary head upon. Let me serve you by serving them my dear lord Krsna!!!
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