Bhaktivedanta VedaBase: Sri Caitanya Caritamrita
CC Antya 17.1: I am simply trying to write about Lord Gauracandra's transcendental activities and spiritual madness, which are very wonderful and uncommon. I dare to write of them only because I have heard from the mouths of those who have personally seen the Lord's activities.
CC Antya 17.2: All glories to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu! All glories to Lord Nityananda! All glories to Advaitacandra! And all glories to all the devotees of the Lord!
CC Antya 17.3: Absorbed in ecstasy, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu acted and talked like a madman day and night.
CC Antya 17.4: In the company of Svarupa Damodara Gosvami and Ramananda Raya, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu once passed half the night talking about the pastimes of Lord Krishna.
CC Antya 17.5: As they talked of Krishna, Svarupa Damodara Gosvami would sing songs exactly suitable for Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's transcendental emotions.
CC Antya 17.6: To complement the ecstasy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Ramananda Raya would quote verses from the books of Vidyapati and Candidasa, and especially from the Gita-govinda, by Jayadeva Gosvami.
CC Antya 17.7: At intervals, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would also recite a verse. Then, in great lamentation, He would explain it.
CC Antya 17.8: In this way Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu passed half the night experiencing varieties of emotions. Finally, after making the Lord lie down on His bed, Svarupa Damodara and Ramananda Raya returned to their homes.
CC Antya 17.9: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's personal servant, Govinda, lay down at the door of His room, and the Lord very loudly chanted the Hare Krishna maha-mantra all night.
CC Antya 17.10: Suddenly, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu heard the vibration of Krishna's flute. Then, in ecstasy, He began to depart to see Lord Krishna.
CC Antya 17.11: All three doors were fastened as usual, but Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, in great ecstasy, nevertheless got out of the room and left the house.
CC Antya 17.12: He went to a cow shed on the southern side of the Simha-dvara. There the Lord fell down unconscious among cows from the district of Tailanga.
CC Antya 17.13: Meanwhile, not hearing any sounds from Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Govinda immediately sent for Svarupa Damodara and opened the doors.
CC Antya 17.14: Then Svarupa Damodara Gosvami lit a torch and went out with all the devotees to search for Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
CC Antya 17.15: After searching here and there, they finally came to the cow shed near the Simha-dvara. There they saw Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu lying unconscious among the cows.
CC Antya 17.16: His arms and legs had entered the trunk of His body, exactly like those of a tortoise. His mouth was foaming, there were eruptions on His body, and tears flowed from His eyes.
CC Antya 17.17: As the Lord lay there unconscious, His body resembled a large pumpkin. Externally He was completely inert, but within He felt overwhelming transcendental bliss.
CC Antya 17.18: All the cows around the Lord were sniffing His transcendental body. When the devotees tried to check them, they refused to give up their association with the transcendental body of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
CC Antya 17.19: The devotees tried to rouse the Lord by various means, but His consciousness did not return. Therefore they all lifted Him and brought Him back home.
CC Antya 17.20: All the devotees began to chant the Hare Krishna mantra very loudly in the Lord's ears, and after a considerable time Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu regained consciousness.
CC Antya 17.21: When He regained consciousness, His arms and legs came out of His body, and His whole body returned to normal.
CC Antya 17.22: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu stood up and then sat down again. Looking here and there, He inquired from Svarupa Damodara, "Where have you brought Me?
CC Antya 17.23: "After hearing the vibration of a flute, I went to Vrindavana, and there I saw that Krishna, the son of Maharaja Nanda, was playing on His flute in the pasturing grounds.
CC Antya 17.24: "He brought Srimati Radharani to a bower by signaling with His flute. Then He entered within that bower to perform pastimes with Her.
CC Antya 17.25: "I entered the bower just behind Krishna, My ears captivated by the sound of His ornaments.
CC Antya 17.26: "I saw Krishna and the gopis enjoying all kinds of pastimes while laughing and joking together. Hearing their vocal expressions enhanced the joy of My ears.
CC Antya 17.27: "Just then, all of you made a tumultuous sound and brought Me back here by force.
CC Antya 17.28: "Because you brought Me back here, I could no longer hear the nectarean voices of Krishna and the gopis, nor could I hear the sounds of their ornaments or the flute."
CC Antya 17.29: In great ecstasy, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said to Svarupa Damodara in a faltering voice, "My ears are dying of thirst. Please recite something to quench this thirst. Let Me hear it."
CC Antya 17.30: Understanding the ecstatic emotions of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Svarupa Damodara, in a sweet voice, recited the following verse from Srimad-Bhagavatam.
CC Antya 17.31: [The gopis said:] "My dear Lord Krishna, where is that woman within the three worlds who would not be captivated by the rhythms of the sweet songs coming from Your wonderful flute? Who would not fall down from the path of chastity in this way? Your beauty is the most sublime within the three worlds. Upon seeing Your beauty, even cows, birds, animals and trees in the forest are stunned in jubilation."
CC Antya 17.32: Upon hearing this verse, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, overwhelmed with the ecstasy of the gopis, began to explain it.
CC Antya 17.33: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "The gopis entered the arena of the rasa dance in ecstasy, but after hearing Krishna's words of negligence and detachment, they understood that He was going to renounce them. Thus they began to chastise Him in anger.
CC Antya 17.34: O dear lover, they said, please answer just one question. Who among all the youthful women within this universe is not attracted by the sound of Your flute?
CC Antya 17.35: When You play Your flute, the vibration acts like a messenger in the form of a yogini perfect in the art of chanting mantras. This messenger enchants all the women in the universe and attracts them to You. Then she increases their great anxiety and induces them to give up the regulative principle of obeying superiors. Finally, she forcibly brings them to You to surrender in amorous love.
CC Antya 17.36: "'The vibration of Your flute, accompanied by Your glance, which pierces us forcibly with the arrows of lust, induces us to ignore the regulative principles of religious life. Thus we become excited by lusty desires and come to You, giving up all shame and fear. But now You are angry with us. You are finding fault with our violating religious principles and leaving our homes and husbands. And as You instruct us about religious principles, we become helpless.
CC Antya 17.37: "'We know that this is all a well-planned trick. You know how to make jokes that cause the complete annihilation of women, but we can understand that Your real mind, words and behavior are different. Therefore please give up all these clever tricks.
CC Antya 17.38: "'The nectarean buttermilk of Your flute's vibration, the nectar of Your sweet words and the nectarean sound of Your ornaments mix together to attract our ears, minds and lives. In this way You are killing us.'"
CC Antya 17.39: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu spoke these words in a mood of anger as He floated on waves of ecstatic love. Merged in an ocean of anxiety, He recited a verse spoken by Srimati Radharani expressing the same emotion. Then He personally explained the verse and thus tasted the sweetness of Krishna.
CC Antya 17.40: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu continued, "'My dear friend, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna, has a voice as deep as a cloud resounding in the sky. With the tinkling of His ornaments He attracts the ears of the gopis, and with the sound of His flute He attracts even the goddess of fortune and other beautiful women. That Personality of Godhead, known as Madana-mohana, whose joking words carry many indications and deep meanings, is increasing the lusty desires of My ears.'
CC Antya 17.41: "Krishna's deep voice is more resonant than newly arrived clouds, and His sweet song defeats even the sweet voice of the cuckoo. Indeed, His song is so sweet that even one particle of its sound can inundate the entire world. If such a particle enters one's ear, one is immediately bereft of all other types of hearing.
CC Antya 17.42: "My dear friend, please tell Me what to do. My ears have been plundered by the qualities of Krishna's sound. Now, however, I cannot hear His transcendental sound, and I am almost dead for want of it.
CC Antya 17.43: "The tinkling of Krishna's ankle bells surpasses the songs of even the swan and crane, and the sound of His bangles puts the singing of the cataka bird to shame. Having allowed these sounds to enter the ears even once, one cannot tolerate hearing anything else.
CC Antya 17.44: "Krishna's speech is far sweeter than nectar. Each of His jubilant words is full of meaning, and when His speech mixes with His smile, which is like camphor, the resultant sound and the deep meaning of Krishna's words create various transcendental mellows.
CC Antya 17.45: "One particle of that transcendental, blissful nectar is the life and soul of the ear, which is like a cakora bird that lives in hope of tasting that nectar. Sometimes, by good fortune, the bird can taste it, but at other times he unfortunately cannot and therefore almost dies of thirst.
CC Antya 17.46: "The transcendental vibration of Krishna's flute disturbs the hearts of women all over the world, even if they hear it only once. Thus their fastened belts become loose, and these women become the unpaid maidservants of Krishna. Indeed, they run toward Krishna exactly like madwomen.
CC Antya 17.47: "When she hears the vibration of Krishna's flute, even the goddess of fortune comes to Him, greatly hoping for His association, but nevertheless she does not get it. When the waves of thirst for His association increase, she performs austerities, but still she cannot meet Him.
CC Antya 17.48: "Only the most fortunate can hear these four nectarean sounds -- Krishna's words, the tinkling of His ankle bells and bangles, His voice and the vibration of His flute. If one does not hear these sounds, his ears are as useless as small conchshells with holes."
CC Antya 17.49: While Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu lamented in this way, agitation and ecstasy awoke in His mind, and He became very restless. Many transcendental ecstasies combined in Him, including anxiety, lamentation, attention, eagerness, fear, determination and remembrance.
CC Antya 17.50: The aggregate of all these ecstasies once awoke a statement by Srimati Radharani in the mind of Bilvamangala Thakura [Lila-suka]. In the same ecstatic mood, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu now recited that verse, and on the strength of madness He described its meaning, which is unknown to people in general.
CC Antya 17.51: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "'Alas, what shall I do? To whom shall I speak? Let whatever I have done in hopes of meeting Krishna be finished now. Please say something auspicious, but do not speak about Krishna. Alas, Krishna is lying within My heart like Cupid; therefore how can I possibly give up talking of Him? I cannot forget Krishna, whose smile is sweeter than sweetness itself and who gives pleasure to My mind and eyes. Alas, My great thirst for Krishna is increasing moment by moment!'
CC Antya 17.52: "The anxiety caused by separation from Krishna has made Me impatient, and I can think of no way to meet Him. O My friends, you are also deranged by lamentation. Who, therefore, will tell Me how to find Him?
CC Antya 17.53: "O My dear friends, how shall I find Krishna? What shall I do? Where shall I go? Where can I meet Him? Because I cannot find Krishna, My life is leaving Me."
CC Antya 17.54: Suddenly, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu became calm and considered His state of mind. He remembered the words of Pingala, and this aroused an ecstasy that moved Him to speak. Thus He explained the meaning of the verse.
CC Antya 17.55: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "If I give up hope of meeting Krishna, I shall then be happy. Therefore, let us stop this most inglorious discussion of Krishna. It would be better for us to talk of glorious topics and forget Him."
CC Antya 17.56: While speaking in this way, Srimati Radharani suddenly remembered Krishna. Indeed, He appeared within Her heart. Greatly astonished, She told Her friends, "The person I want to forget is lying in My heart."
CC Antya 17.57: Srimati Radharani's ecstasy also made Her think of Krishna as Cupid, and this understanding frightened Her. She said, "This Cupid, who has conquered the whole world and entered My heart, is My greatest enemy, for He does not allow Me to forget Him."
CC Antya 17.58: Then great eagerness conquered all the other soldiers of ecstasy, and an uncontrollable desire arose in the kingdom of Srimati Radharani's mind. Greatly unhappy, She then chastised Her own mind.
CC Antya 17.59: "If I do not think of Krishna, My impoverished mind will die within a moment like a fish out of water. But when I see Krishna's sweetly smiling face, My mind and eyes are so pleased that My desire for Him redoubles.
CC Antya 17.60: "Alas! Where is Krishna, the treasure of My life? Where is the lotus-eyed one? Alas! Where is the divine ocean of all transcendental qualities? Alas! Where is the beautiful blackish youth dressed in yellow garments? Alas! Where is the hero of the rasa dance?
CC Antya 17.61: "Where shall I go? Where can I find You? Please tell Me. I shall go there." Speaking in this way, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu began running. But Svarupa Damodara Gosvami stood up, caught Him and took Him on his lap. Then Svarupa Damodara brought Him back to His place and made Him sit down.
CC Antya 17.62: Suddenly Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu returned to external consciousness and said to Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, "My dear Svarupa, please sing some sweet songs." The Lord's ears were satisfied when He heard Svarupa Damodara sing songs from the Gita-govinda and those by the poet Vidyapati.
CC Antya 17.63: Each day and night, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would become deranged in this way and talk like a madman.
CC Antya 17.64: Even Anantadeva, who possesses thousands of mouths, cannot fully describe the ecstatic transformations that Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu experienced in a single day.
CC Antya 17.65: What can a poor creature like me describe of those transformations? I can give only a hint of them, as if showing the moon through the branches of a tree.
CC Antya 17.66: This description, however, will satisfy the mind and ears of anyone who hears it, and he will be able to understand these uncommon activities of deep ecstatic love for Krishna.
CC Antya 17.67: Ecstatic love for Krishna is wonderfully deep. By personally tasting the glorious sweetness of that love, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu showed us its extreme limit.
CC Antya 17.68: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is wonderfully merciful and wonderfully magnanimous. We have heard of no one else within this world so merciful and charitable.
CC Antya 17.69: O people of the world, worship the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu in all respects. Only in this way will you achieve the nectarean treasure of ecstatic love for Krishna.
CC Antya 17.70: Thus I have described Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's ecstatic transformation of becoming like a tortoise. In that ecstasy, He talked and acted like a madman.
CC Antya 17.71: Srila Raghunatha dasa Gosvami has fully described this pastime in his book Gauranga-stava-kalpavriksha.
CC Antya 17.72: "How wonderful it is! Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu left His residence without opening the three strongly bolted doors. Then He crossed over three high walls, and later, because of strong feelings of separation from Krishna, He fell down amidst the cows of the Tailanga district and retracted all the limbs of His body like a tortoise. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, who appeared in that way, rises in my heart and maddens me."
CC Antya 17.73: Praying at the lotus feet of Sri Rupa and Sri Raghunatha, always desiring their mercy, I, Krishnadasa, narrate Sri Caitanya-caritamrita, following in their footsteps.
Bhaktivedanta VedaBase: Sri Caitanya Caritamrita
CC Antya 17.1: I am simply trying to write about Lord Gauracandra's transcendental activities and spiritual madness, which are very wonderful and uncommon. I dare to write of them only because I have heard from the mouths of those who have personally seen the Lord's activities.
CC Antya 17.2: All glories to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu! All glories to Lord Nityananda! All glories to Advaitacandra! And all glories to all the devotees of the Lord!
CC Antya 17.3: Absorbed in ecstasy, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu acted and talked like a madman day and night.
CC Antya 17.4: In the company of Svarupa Damodara Gosvami and Ramananda Raya, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu once passed half the night talking about the pastimes of Lord Krishna.
CC Antya 17.5: As they talked of Krishna, Svarupa Damodara Gosvami would sing songs exactly suitable for Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's transcendental emotions.
CC Antya 17.6: To complement the ecstasy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Ramananda Raya would quote verses from the books of Vidyapati and Candidasa, and especially from the Gita-govinda, by Jayadeva Gosvami.
CC Antya 17.7: At intervals, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would also recite a verse. Then, in great lamentation, He would explain it.
CC Antya 17.8: In this way Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu passed half the night experiencing varieties of emotions. Finally, after making the Lord lie down on His bed, Svarupa Damodara and Ramananda Raya returned to their homes.
CC Antya 17.9: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's personal servant, Govinda, lay down at the door of His room, and the Lord very loudly chanted the Hare Krishna maha-mantra all night.
CC Antya 17.10: Suddenly, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu heard the vibration of Krishna's flute. Then, in ecstasy, He began to depart to see Lord Krishna.
CC Antya 17.11: All three doors were fastened as usual, but Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, in great ecstasy, nevertheless got out of the room and left the house.
CC Antya 17.12: He went to a cow shed on the southern side of the Simha-dvara. There the Lord fell down unconscious among cows from the district of Tailanga.
CC Antya 17.13: Meanwhile, not hearing any sounds from Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Govinda immediately sent for Svarupa Damodara and opened the doors.
CC Antya 17.14: Then Svarupa Damodara Gosvami lit a torch and went out with all the devotees to search for Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
CC Antya 17.15: After searching here and there, they finally came to the cow shed near the Simha-dvara. There they saw Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu lying unconscious among the cows.
CC Antya 17.16: His arms and legs had entered the trunk of His body, exactly like those of a tortoise. His mouth was foaming, there were eruptions on His body, and tears flowed from His eyes.
CC Antya 17.17: As the Lord lay there unconscious, His body resembled a large pumpkin. Externally He was completely inert, but within He felt overwhelming transcendental bliss.
CC Antya 17.18: All the cows around the Lord were sniffing His transcendental body. When the devotees tried to check them, they refused to give up their association with the transcendental body of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
CC Antya 17.19: The devotees tried to rouse the Lord by various means, but His consciousness did not return. Therefore they all lifted Him and brought Him back home.
CC Antya 17.20: All the devotees began to chant the Hare Krishna mantra very loudly in the Lord's ears, and after a considerable time Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu regained consciousness.
CC Antya 17.21: When He regained consciousness, His arms and legs came out of His body, and His whole body returned to normal.
CC Antya 17.22: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu stood up and then sat down again. Looking here and there, He inquired from Svarupa Damodara, "Where have you brought Me?
CC Antya 17.23: "After hearing the vibration of a flute, I went to Vrindavana, and there I saw that Krishna, the son of Maharaja Nanda, was playing on His flute in the pasturing grounds.
CC Antya 17.24: "He brought Srimati Radharani to a bower by signaling with His flute. Then He entered within that bower to perform pastimes with Her.
CC Antya 17.25: "I entered the bower just behind Krishna, My ears captivated by the sound of His ornaments.
CC Antya 17.26: "I saw Krishna and the gopis enjoying all kinds of pastimes while laughing and joking together. Hearing their vocal expressions enhanced the joy of My ears.
CC Antya 17.27: "Just then, all of you made a tumultuous sound and brought Me back here by force.
CC Antya 17.28: "Because you brought Me back here, I could no longer hear the nectarean voices of Krishna and the gopis, nor could I hear the sounds of their ornaments or the flute."
CC Antya 17.29: In great ecstasy, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said to Svarupa Damodara in a faltering voice, "My ears are dying of thirst. Please recite something to quench this thirst. Let Me hear it."
CC Antya 17.30: Understanding the ecstatic emotions of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Svarupa Damodara, in a sweet voice, recited the following verse from Srimad-Bhagavatam.
CC Antya 17.31: [The gopis said:] "My dear Lord Krishna, where is that woman within the three worlds who would not be captivated by the rhythms of the sweet songs coming from Your wonderful flute? Who would not fall down from the path of chastity in this way? Your beauty is the most sublime within the three worlds. Upon seeing Your beauty, even cows, birds, animals and trees in the forest are stunned in jubilation."
CC Antya 17.32: Upon hearing this verse, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, overwhelmed with the ecstasy of the gopis, began to explain it.
CC Antya 17.33: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "The gopis entered the arena of the rasa dance in ecstasy, but after hearing Krishna's words of negligence and detachment, they understood that He was going to renounce them. Thus they began to chastise Him in anger.
CC Antya 17.34: O dear lover, they said, please answer just one question. Who among all the youthful women within this universe is not attracted by the sound of Your flute?
CC Antya 17.35: When You play Your flute, the vibration acts like a messenger in the form of a yogini perfect in the art of chanting mantras. This messenger enchants all the women in the universe and attracts them to You. Then she increases their great anxiety and induces them to give up the regulative principle of obeying superiors. Finally, she forcibly brings them to You to surrender in amorous love.
CC Antya 17.36: "'The vibration of Your flute, accompanied by Your glance, which pierces us forcibly with the arrows of lust, induces us to ignore the regulative principles of religious life. Thus we become excited by lusty desires and come to You, giving up all shame and fear. But now You are angry with us. You are finding fault with our violating religious principles and leaving our homes and husbands. And as You instruct us about religious principles, we become helpless.
CC Antya 17.37: "'We know that this is all a well-planned trick. You know how to make jokes that cause the complete annihilation of women, but we can understand that Your real mind, words and behavior are different. Therefore please give up all these clever tricks.
CC Antya 17.38: "'The nectarean buttermilk of Your flute's vibration, the nectar of Your sweet words and the nectarean sound of Your ornaments mix together to attract our ears, minds and lives. In this way You are killing us.'"
CC Antya 17.39: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu spoke these words in a mood of anger as He floated on waves of ecstatic love. Merged in an ocean of anxiety, He recited a verse spoken by Srimati Radharani expressing the same emotion. Then He personally explained the verse and thus tasted the sweetness of Krishna.
CC Antya 17.40: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu continued, "'My dear friend, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna, has a voice as deep as a cloud resounding in the sky. With the tinkling of His ornaments He attracts the ears of the gopis, and with the sound of His flute He attracts even the goddess of fortune and other beautiful women. That Personality of Godhead, known as Madana-mohana, whose joking words carry many indications and deep meanings, is increasing the lusty desires of My ears.'
CC Antya 17.41: "Krishna's deep voice is more resonant than newly arrived clouds, and His sweet song defeats even the sweet voice of the cuckoo. Indeed, His song is so sweet that even one particle of its sound can inundate the entire world. If such a particle enters one's ear, one is immediately bereft of all other types of hearing.
CC Antya 17.42: "My dear friend, please tell Me what to do. My ears have been plundered by the qualities of Krishna's sound. Now, however, I cannot hear His transcendental sound, and I am almost dead for want of it.
CC Antya 17.43: "The tinkling of Krishna's ankle bells surpasses the songs of even the swan and crane, and the sound of His bangles puts the singing of the cataka bird to shame. Having allowed these sounds to enter the ears even once, one cannot tolerate hearing anything else.
CC Antya 17.44: "Krishna's speech is far sweeter than nectar. Each of His jubilant words is full of meaning, and when His speech mixes with His smile, which is like camphor, the resultant sound and the deep meaning of Krishna's words create various transcendental mellows.
CC Antya 17.45: "One particle of that transcendental, blissful nectar is the life and soul of the ear, which is like a cakora bird that lives in hope of tasting that nectar. Sometimes, by good fortune, the bird can taste it, but at other times he unfortunately cannot and therefore almost dies of thirst.
CC Antya 17.46: "The transcendental vibration of Krishna's flute disturbs the hearts of women all over the world, even if they hear it only once. Thus their fastened belts become loose, and these women become the unpaid maidservants of Krishna. Indeed, they run toward Krishna exactly like madwomen.
CC Antya 17.47: "When she hears the vibration of Krishna's flute, even the goddess of fortune comes to Him, greatly hoping for His association, but nevertheless she does not get it. When the waves of thirst for His association increase, she performs austerities, but still she cannot meet Him.
CC Antya 17.48: "Only the most fortunate can hear these four nectarean sounds -- Krishna's words, the tinkling of His ankle bells and bangles, His voice and the vibration of His flute. If one does not hear these sounds, his ears are as useless as small conchshells with holes."
CC Antya 17.49: While Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu lamented in this way, agitation and ecstasy awoke in His mind, and He became very restless. Many transcendental ecstasies combined in Him, including anxiety, lamentation, attention, eagerness, fear, determination and remembrance.
CC Antya 17.50: The aggregate of all these ecstasies once awoke a statement by Srimati Radharani in the mind of Bilvamangala Thakura [Lila-suka]. In the same ecstatic mood, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu now recited that verse, and on the strength of madness He described its meaning, which is unknown to people in general.
CC Antya 17.51: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "'Alas, what shall I do? To whom shall I speak? Let whatever I have done in hopes of meeting Krishna be finished now. Please say something auspicious, but do not speak about Krishna. Alas, Krishna is lying within My heart like Cupid; therefore how can I possibly give up talking of Him? I cannot forget Krishna, whose smile is sweeter than sweetness itself and who gives pleasure to My mind and eyes. Alas, My great thirst for Krishna is increasing moment by moment!'
CC Antya 17.52: "The anxiety caused by separation from Krishna has made Me impatient, and I can think of no way to meet Him. O My friends, you are also deranged by lamentation. Who, therefore, will tell Me how to find Him?
CC Antya 17.53: "O My dear friends, how shall I find Krishna? What shall I do? Where shall I go? Where can I meet Him? Because I cannot find Krishna, My life is leaving Me."
CC Antya 17.54: Suddenly, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu became calm and considered His state of mind. He remembered the words of Pingala, and this aroused an ecstasy that moved Him to speak. Thus He explained the meaning of the verse.
CC Antya 17.55: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "If I give up hope of meeting Krishna, I shall then be happy. Therefore, let us stop this most inglorious discussion of Krishna. It would be better for us to talk of glorious topics and forget Him."
CC Antya 17.56: While speaking in this way, Srimati Radharani suddenly remembered Krishna. Indeed, He appeared within Her heart. Greatly astonished, She told Her friends, "The person I want to forget is lying in My heart."
CC Antya 17.57: Srimati Radharani's ecstasy also made Her think of Krishna as Cupid, and this understanding frightened Her. She said, "This Cupid, who has conquered the whole world and entered My heart, is My greatest enemy, for He does not allow Me to forget Him."
CC Antya 17.58: Then great eagerness conquered all the other soldiers of ecstasy, and an uncontrollable desire arose in the kingdom of Srimati Radharani's mind. Greatly unhappy, She then chastised Her own mind.
CC Antya 17.59: "If I do not think of Krishna, My impoverished mind will die within a moment like a fish out of water. But when I see Krishna's sweetly smiling face, My mind and eyes are so pleased that My desire for Him redoubles.
CC Antya 17.60: "Alas! Where is Krishna, the treasure of My life? Where is the lotus-eyed one? Alas! Where is the divine ocean of all transcendental qualities? Alas! Where is the beautiful blackish youth dressed in yellow garments? Alas! Where is the hero of the rasa dance?
CC Antya 17.61: "Where shall I go? Where can I find You? Please tell Me. I shall go there." Speaking in this way, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu began running. But Svarupa Damodara Gosvami stood up, caught Him and took Him on his lap. Then Svarupa Damodara brought Him back to His place and made Him sit down.
CC Antya 17.62: Suddenly Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu returned to external consciousness and said to Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, "My dear Svarupa, please sing some sweet songs." The Lord's ears were satisfied when He heard Svarupa Damodara sing songs from the Gita-govinda and those by the poet Vidyapati.
CC Antya 17.63: Each day and night, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would become deranged in this way and talk like a madman.
CC Antya 17.64: Even Anantadeva, who possesses thousands of mouths, cannot fully describe the ecstatic transformations that Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu experienced in a single day.
CC Antya 17.65: What can a poor creature like me describe of those transformations? I can give only a hint of them, as if showing the moon through the branches of a tree.
CC Antya 17.66: This description, however, will satisfy the mind and ears of anyone who hears it, and he will be able to understand these uncommon activities of deep ecstatic love for Krishna.
CC Antya 17.67: Ecstatic love for Krishna is wonderfully deep. By personally tasting the glorious sweetness of that love, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu showed us its extreme limit.
CC Antya 17.68: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is wonderfully merciful and wonderfully magnanimous. We have heard of no one else within this world so merciful and charitable.
CC Antya 17.69: O people of the world, worship the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu in all respects. Only in this way will you achieve the nectarean treasure of ecstatic love for Krishna.
CC Antya 17.70: Thus I have described Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's ecstatic transformation of becoming like a tortoise. In that ecstasy, He talked and acted like a madman.
CC Antya 17.71: Srila Raghunatha dasa Gosvami has fully described this pastime in his book Gauranga-stava-kalpavriksha.
CC Antya 17.72: "How wonderful it is! Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu left His residence without opening the three strongly bolted doors. Then He crossed over three high walls, and later, because of strong feelings of separation from Krishna, He fell down amidst the cows of the Tailanga district and retracted all the limbs of His body like a tortoise. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, who appeared in that way, rises in my heart and maddens me."
CC Antya 17.73: Praying at the lotus feet of Sri Rupa and Sri Raghunatha, always desiring their mercy, I, Krishnadasa, narrate Sri Caitanya-caritamrita, following in their footsteps.
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