A friend, Tom, from Windsor, Ontario, sends me these humorous aprosdokians. I thought to share them. I hope you like them.
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Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
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Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
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War does not determine who is right — only who is left.
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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They begin the evening news with “Good Evening,” then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
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To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research.
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In filling in an application where it says, “In case of emergency notify:” - I put DOCTOR.
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I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
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A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.
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I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
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Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. Now I’m not sure.
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
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Finally: I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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