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Lack of Attachment to Results
Next. What’s the right way to correct a child if he makes a mistake? If parents don’t know this, they suffer a lot. The strongest force for improvement is lack of attachment to results. How a child does things is completely irrelevant. Its important that he derives a good lesson from them.
Therefore, if a child didn’t go to school, no problem. No matter if he skips even a week, the most important thing is that he derive a lesson from it. As such, if parents understand this, they will not get fixated on results. Whether he’ll be an A-student in math or even a C-student, its not important. If he needs to, after becoming an adult, he’ll learn all this math in 5 days.
There’s no point forcing him. The whole point lies in what kind of person he’ll become. And here, non-attachment plays a major role.

For example, a child skipped school and his parents ask: “And why aren’t you going to school?” He says, “I don’t want to study.” He is told, “That’s fine, you can not go to school. But explain why.” And he says, “Well, I don’t like it there, since there is this and that there.” The parents answer, “Okay, you can try not going to school.” He tries to not go to school; his friends start laughing at him, “What’s the matter with you, are you really not going to study at all?” Then his homeroom teacher arrives and starts making a fuss. When the child feels completely terrible, when he feels that something’s not right, then his parents start explaining why its essential to go to school. No matter if he misses 2 weeks, as then, he’ll become a real person. He himself made the choice and he will, without fail, want to study. In doing this, of course parents wish to see their child educated. But this is impossible to achieve unless he wants it himself. The wish manifests where there is freedom of choice. Parents can provide freedom of choice if they’re not fixated on whether their son will be a straight A student or the best. The most important thing is that he becomes a good person. Where does this power, this wish to do something independently come from? From a lack of attachment on the side of parents. Such parents think, “The most important thing is that he learns hard lessons which will be of use to him in life.” When parents are strongly attached, they don’t allow their child to take hard knocks, that is, they don’t let him go anywhere: you can’t do this, you can’t do that. And as a result, the child doesn’t receive any practical life experience.

References: Dr. Torsunov - www.torsunov.com (His Grace Audarya Dhama Prabhu)

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