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hare krishna !
hare krishna mataji/ prabhuji. we are facing family issues between my mother and my sister in laws family members. my mother stayed in my sister home for around 6 months for sister delivery. There my mother was disrespected by brother in law and his mother and father. so my mother is now greatly affected by all these missbehaviour,she started hating them a lot. Its a ritual that after delivery daughter should come to maternal home for 6 months, so its almost more than 6 months sister is staying in home. so sister mother in law called to my father and told him to send back my sister. listening all these things, my mother is getting angry, and she warned my sister that if she leaves the home then she won't be allowed to enter the home again and warned to break the relation between mother and daughter.even my mother is also devotee of lord krishna. she does chanting for 16 rounds everyday. but still she is not able to control her anger because she was hearted very very badly.the main thing is that she don't want that her daughter should go to enemy home.what should i do in this case. how can i console my mother.
Hare Krsna Mataji,
Firstly, my sympathies.
Your sister has to go back to husband's, no doubt about that. Just because your mother is angry doesnt mean that she will break her family. Her family is now her husband, her child and her in laws. It is irrational behaviour on the part of your mother, to expect that the daughter should stay back. Who will take responsibility for the child for whole life?
Your mother's anger will subside with time, in the process your sister's house cannot break.
You make your mother hear lectures on anger management, art of forgiveness (by HG Mahatma Das, HH Radhanath Swami Maharaj). She has to forgive for her peace of mind. Its not between the two mothers, its between your mother and Krsna. What she will gain by winning brownie points against daughter's mother in law, her path it towards Krsna. She should concentrate on her devotion. My guess is that, due to the childbirth, she has not been able to chant properly, definitely not do other aspects of devotion like hearing, reading, going to temple, associating with devotees. Even quality of chanting would have suffered, if at all she chanted. That is when all these issues crop up.
Please remember that once we are on the path of devotion, our aim is to go back to Godhead. These disturbances are tests by mayadevi to see whether we are ready to be freed from her clutches or not. Chant 16 quality rounds, read Gita and Srimad Bhagawatam. It will be easier for her to forgive. One way to learn to forgive is to make your mother somehow or other pray for your sister's mother in law and son in law. Then she will be able to forgive very easily and grow spiritually at the same time.
Pls tell your mother to be focused on her goal of life.
Your role as younger daughter is to ensure that your sister goes back to her inlaws house. You take help from your father for that. You have to be in touch with your sister (once she goes back, it will be very difficult for her. Her husband and inlaws will be waiting to pounce on her to take out their ire, she will not get cooperation from them for her child, atleast initially). You have to be a support to your mother - encourage her to chant, read, hear, cook for Krsna, associate with devotees, do not raise the topic of sister in front of her, divert her mind, be kind to her and make her happy.
Best of luck. Your task is set out for you. Remember, there are no lows in life. There are highs and there are lessons. Learn the lesson this episode is trying to teach you. It will help you.
Radha Rasamayi DD
Thanqu mataji for guiding me.. :-)
i will make her understand...
thanqu shilpa mataji for guiding me.
Pranams. Give the following quote to your mother:
Be more humble than a blade of grass, more tolerant than a tree, always offering respect onto others and never expecting any in return." ~Shri Krishna Chaitanya Mahaprabhu
thanqu prabhu ji. I will definitely show this quote to her and convince to follow in her life
Hare Krishna Rituals are Important but Finally its upto the Individual Family ( Daughter and Husband) to decide , The Attachment to ritual is a Mistake , Talk together and work out , U will not get any Answers here