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Sevak

a person in deep depressions

how can a person in deep depression become happy????
deep depression...?....in a sense.........he or she feels no one loves him or her...........
he or she being a krsna devotee feels this ...........how can this feeling be overcomed????

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  • Dearest mataji,

    This reply might be really late but I will still be going ahead in hopes that someone who might be going through the same issue as you,in the future, might stumble upon these replies and thus help him or herself. I have been lingering on such topics on this forum for quite long and I frequently feel disheartened when I come across the type of replies given by devotees on this topic. The only valid and truly practical reply is that by Nitai Priya DD mataji on the post “How to overcome Depression” asked by user ‘hare Krishna’. Do try to check out her reply if possible.

    I genuinely understand how you feel as I have been there. It almost feels like there is another entity inside of you,which is why it is very common for people with mind issues to be mistaken as a possessed or haunted person.

     Let me prepare you for something you might undoubtedly face (or have already faced as I can see in this discussion) with certain family members or devotees. Some of them are always not going to understand the difference between a clinical mental condition and difficult phase in life. To be elaborate, many people might say things like, “ Oh, don’t just sit down there and be scared/depressed, this is something we all go through. Why don’t you just relax and be happy?” or if devotees, “ Just chant the depression/anxiety away. All problems will be rectified if you just chant the holy names and pray to Krsna.”. While these people are TRYING to mean well, they come off as completely wrong. They don’t know that a person experiencing a mind illness cannot even bring themselves to even brush their teeth or eat or shower

    . I have been there before. It’s not that they don’t want to do those things, they can’t bring themselves to. Similar to a mute person, it’s not that he doesn’t want to speak but since he’s mute, he does not have the ability to. A mentally afflicted person feels like he is under the whims of his mind. To top that, there are a hundred things running in his mind all at once which includes suicidal suggestions. He cannot even sleep through the night. And since, he is NOT the mind( Mind is subtle body, separate from us), it is very insensitive to say things like “Get over it”,“Why do you keep thinking about it,just don’t think about it”,”You’re not doing devotional service properly”, “ If you remember the real reason is to go back to Godhead,there will be no problem, shower your love on Krsna”. If the person could, don’t you think he would have?

    We don’t go to a person who has cancer and say “ Oh prabhuji, it’s just Cancer. Get on with your life!”. Do we? Then why is the same thing being said to a sufferer of mental disease. It is very painful,dark and scary. It requires much compassion, understanding and acceptance towards the affected individual. So dear mataji, please take one,tiny,baby step per day.And practise acceptance with yourself. Understand that your mind is just like a machine which generates automated thoughts, The more you’re sensitised to it, the more it repeats the same thing. I won’t go more into details about this, try reading on anxiety and intrusive thoughts on www.drmartinseif.com/ . This would help you to understand more on how anxiety works. I also suggest that if you still continue to have debilitating anxiety and emotional breakdowns, DO THE RIGHT THING. Make an appointment with a qualified therapist who specialises in panic attack management. I used to be against taking medications but I’ve personally met happy and stable people (some of them devotees ) whose lives are much peaceful and better due to these medications. And medications can also be weaned off after awhile when your condition is different now and you don’t need them.

     Even HH Badrinarayan Maharaj, who is part of GBC, said that if someone needs medication to bring themselves out from bed and chant at least one round, then they SHOULD be taking it , there is nothing wrong with it if it’s going to help them stay alive and do their duty.(Have not quoted him word for word but this is along the lines of what he said) .When someone’s leg has broken and he is crying in pain, we don’t run and bring a japa bag to him and say “Chant prabhu, your leg will be fine”. We bring him to the hospital where his healing takes place and in that better condition, he is able to do maybe some of what he used to do before, gradually. Hence prabhu,consult a qualified therapist who YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH. Neuroplasticity and mindfulness techniques will be used to help you cope and manage. Alot of these are in placement with Vedic values. If you’re exposed to a lot of media and similar anxiety triggering platforms such as Facebook, try to stave off them.

    Meditation and breathing exercises are also part of what a therapist might use. In my case, being a devotee made this much easier as we have experience in chanting and also staving off social media and movies helps in KC as well. However, I still had a little attachment to watching TV, so instead of artificially renouncing watching TV altogether, I still watch it but only things with vedic content,ISKCON lectures and innocent cartoons. This has helped me a lot. So dear mataji, please do what you feel is best for you!

    Don’t compare yourself with others’ standard and stick to asking advice from just one devotee who you know understands you. Many people say many,different things but at the end of the day, it’s your life journey towards Krsna.

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  • It's extremely difficult to eradicate the desire to be loved. Only great devotees like Jad Bharat can act in this manner : ) All have this desire to love and be loved. When we don't get love that we yearn for, we get into depression. It is better to not stay lonely. Just get into the middle of good Vaishnavas. I am sure you will feel better by receiving their love. And lastly, don't think too much. It's also a big cause of depression. 

  • Volunteer

    yes, i also agree Deity worship may fulfill that of our desire to beloved and to love.

    When we serve to Deities in the association of Devotees following strict rules and regulations They really respond to our love. 

    We will really feel "Yes, You are there my Lord! You are there for me my Lord!"

    Yes we will feel Their love.

    But still for many of us such opportunity may not be there where we will be full time pujaris at the Temple where so many Devotees reside.

    So those of us have to try to be in the association of like mined people. 

    For example, i love to be in big families. I love when i have grand mother, grand father, so many aunts, uncles, so many siblings in one house. 

    We will have many varieties of relationships. So there won't be time when we will sit alone with our crazy mind.

    (it is about my own mind i am talking)

    And these days i stay in India for some time. So even here i feel little lonely if i stay far from my friends. So i decided i will stay at my friend's home along with her parents, siblings. :) life is cool!

    Depression?

    Depression that no one loves me?

    That is the effect of the mode of ignorance. So if we read Srila Prabhupada's books, if we offer food with love to Krishna, if we sleep on time and wake up, if we offer prayers, if we chant for the pleasure of the Lord and our Gurudev then we will feel Lord's love. 

    Because it is always there only that covering of ignorance hinder our vision.

    And for some time we have to forget about ourselves but try to love others. Even if they won't love me let me love them! 

    Let me serve to them and make them happy! 

    If we live in that mood inspiration for life will flow on us as Mother Ganges flow to Lord Shiva's head.

    Your servant, 

  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna Matajis,

    PAMHO.

    When we come across situations in life where we feel no one loves us, we have to remember that only one person loves us and His love is unconditional - that is God - Krsna. Therefore we should attend the local temple arati and dance like a person possessed. All depression will evaporate due to the effort of dancing and the joy that it will fill up our hearts with.

    Pandora mataji, Please come to India. Visit Shri Dham Mayapur and see how the devotees are coming together to serve the lord and how they care for each other. YOu will experience good things and it will be a memorable trip for you - I think. It will help you get over your depression. I invite you to the Radha Krsna temple in Chennai on a weekend - where I would spend some time with you and try to serve you to the best of my ability.

    Yamini mataji, for deep depression - the root cause is deep attachment, as has already been mentioned. We should think that it is ok if no one loves us, provided Krsna loves us. We should try to establish our relationship with Krsna - we shoudl chat with Him and tell Him - no one loves me, YOu love me. No one accepts me the way I am, but You have made me, I am part and parcel of You, therefore You love me. I will also love you unconditionally. This way, the depression can be turned into devotion in no time and you can be an example for others on how to live life.

    Its possible, please try.

    Haribol,

    Your servant,

    Rashmi

     

     

    • Hare Krishna. Thanks to all for the great advice and comments. Yes I am hoping to visit Mayapur in this lifetime. I would love to visit your Temple in Chennai too and meet you in person. I have visited Vrindavan twice and loved it. Going to the Temple does help to ease my depression. I always feel so much better when I spend the entire morning at the Temple and chant 16 rounds.

      The devotees have always been kind to me. I am going to the Ratha Yatra Festival at  Daytona Beach on May 24th.

  • Hare krsna,

                       Actually, this question is a little sensitive. But still, i will try my level best to answer it in a proper way in the light of the scriptures. Lets try to analyse the root causes of depression and then lets try to find solutions from krishna consciousness.

    (1) It must be noted that depression arises out of too much attachment to a material object..it may be a job, a situation, an emotional feeling etc..which are on the mundane material platform..gross or subtle...

    (2) It should also be noted that " He/she feels no one loves him or her"....is a misconception...The point is that as long as we are in the conditioned material body as krishna says in the bhagavat gita, we cannot experience pure love...Hence its not a matter of love and affection at all....

    Its a little tough to maintain the balance between material life and spiritual life especially when a person is going through the cleaning phase of heart...the person undergoing strong difficulties is like an acid test and finally after that tough period, we develop lots of courage to go ahead in krishna consciousness. This tough phase is quite common in everybody's life...but many people decline to share them. 

    Modern day life has completely deviated from krishna consciousness right from hairpin to aeroplane level...from microscopic level to macroscopic level...food products..consumables...what not ..every commodity is contaminated...hence its generally a tough phase for humanity...but the solution is krishna consciouness...If people chant more and more of krishna's holy name...the more they get cleansed of the attitude of exploiting the natural resources for their sense gratification...

    it is very easy to give advices to others quoting wonderful slokas from the gita etc...but its really worthy when we actually start implementing krishna's suggestions and apply them in our daily life.

    solutions prescribed the acharyas in overcoming these depressed situations:

    (1) Kindly chant the holy name more...

    (2) Do more deity service  if possible...

    (3) Read more krishna lila, bhagavat gita and srimad bhagavatam, other shastras, if you find time...

    caution ( warning): Many people or even neophytes are prone to be cheated by materialistic people trying to help them in the name of so called love and affection. There is every danger and hence the person should be very careful in scrutinizing the other person who is ready to help by means of judging the other person through the medium of krishna consciousness. Some materialistic people take the chance and cheat the innocent neophytes and take them away from krishna.. we must be very careful also.

    I hope this helps...if the above three points are followed..iam sure the person can slowly come out of depression...by the mercy of the lord..

    yours humble servant

    sri krishna gauranga nitai das ( sashikanth)

    • Hare Krishna. Thank you for your comments. I feel better now that I have gotten some sleep.

  • Lets be practical. We get hurt when we expect something from others. Lets pray to Krishna and mind in our own business and forget what others feel about us...etc. We cant perform better than our potential...so just do it and leave the rest to Krishna.

    Haribola.

    Ys

  • Yes it is best for demons like me to just stay home. I need to stop pretending that I am a "devotee" of Krishna.

  • I have a deep depression due to job stress. I avoid people because I am "verbally attacked" at work on a regular basis.

    I don't know. I have a deep depression because of my job and the non-stop stress.  I always feel unloved and unwanted when I am at work.  I have been deeply hurt by the "human species" at my job.  I prefer to stay home with my cats where I can feel loved and wanted.

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